Inner Focus Reiki

Impatience

Man, I don’t know what’s going on lately, but I have reverted back to being over-the-top impatient. I’m not impatient on everything, just stuff that I think should have happened by now. Here’s why I think impatience happens; I think we become impatient because we’ve glimpsed something we desire very much but it has yet to manifest on the earthly plane. It’s as if we can remember everything about it (whatever ‘it’ is for you) and all of the emotions associated with it, but we don’t physically see it. And this is something we really, really pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top WANT!

I put impatience behind me back in the early 2000’s. I mean, I’m the one, if you’ll remember, that had to wait like FOREVER for the stars to align so I could bring our daughter into this world (and that’s just one example). You can read (re-read?) my blog on “Control” if you need a refresher. I don’t like being impatient. Nothing good comes from it. So why now? What’s going on?

I had a client the other day who said, “If it can go wrong, it will. The last couple of months my world has gone to shit. I feel overwhelmed, frustrated and very chaotic.” Now this is a woman who is very glass half full, full of life and optimistic. To hear her say this (and have her thoughts intuitively validated while she was in session), well, that got me thinking. This is kind of what my life, and my husbands, has felt like for the last couple of months. I’m hearing similar stories from other clients, too. Hummm. Putting one and one together here (no small feat as I abhor math!).

This stuff from the last couple of months has GOT to be energetic. It’s just happening to too many of us. It’s frustrating, especially when impatience just isn’t who I am anymore.

Oh HO ladies and gentlemen! Surprise!! It seems this blog is to have a guest appearance. I’m being asked by my Guys to channel some information directly to the masses. Oh man. I didn’t see that coming when I started this blog. Well, who’s up for some words straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak? Here you go. Public, meet my Guys. Guys…oh never mind. You already know the public. Hey! For the cool factor, see if you can ‘feel’ how the energy is different from my writing style to Theirs.

“Little Ones. We do not wish to cause you harm or timidity. (Melissa’s note: The Guys like to use bigger words than I can get my Norwegian/German/Mutt brain around.) We are expressing great sorrow at how this latest miscalculation on our part is affecting your sweet souls. We were not given a rule book as some may think. We are making this up, or as you humans say, ‘Flying by the seat of our pants’ as we go. We have skill doing this so do not dismay. You are all in safe hands (if we had hands). (Melissa’s Note: They usually do not joke, so I must have tapped into a little bit of their funny bone.)

You ask, Dear One, on behalf of those you tirelessly aid, “How much MORE!?” Will you be angry with us if we use the old saying, “Two weeks”? (Melissa’s Note: GRRRRR! Yes! Angry! Stupid ‘two weeks.’ I know all about those two little words! It means that this part of the energetic shift will be over in two weeks BUT that doesn’t mean things will get better. OOOOH NOOOO! It means a new energetic phase – for better or worse – will begin. ‘Two weeks’ is also a loving joke between the Guys and me due to my, uh, constant questioning in my younger years). We love that you get our joke, Little One. You are such a delight. (Melissa’s Note: Guys, puhleease! I’m blushing here! Ok, I’m really not.)

We will continue, if only briefly, for we have the masses to attend to. You ask, in earnest, when this portion will be finished. We tell you we truly do not know. There seems to be some clearing, if you will, in a few short weeks, possibly around the end of your month of March. We see that your calendar date of April first will usher in new, fresh energy once again. You can look for the stars to align and the grass to grow and all to fall into perfect rhythm once again. We will not disappoint, in fact, we will dazzle. (Melissa’s Note: I’m being shown a night sky with shooting stars. Meteor shower, maybe?)

We will leave you now but are thoroughly glad you allowed us in, Little One. Be patient and you will see the wisdom of our words. All will return with the onset of the spring rains. There will be a ‘rebirth’ of sorts. All that is old and outdated will fall in the gutter. But do not dismay, these old thoughts or feelings will be replaced with shiny new ones. Ones that all of you will polish and keep clean and treasure unlike anything you have treasured before. It is our gift to you. Watch and see how it transpires in your life. We are most anxious to see you smile and for you to raise your heads to Heaven in joy and wonderment. For far too long your heads have been bent toward the earth. Be well. All is well. Be at peace for that is what you shall have. Peace. Wonderment. Joy. We promise this.”

Ok……uhhh…”we PROMISE this” is not Their usual wording especially when this blog has the potential to reach hundreds, if not thousands of people. So, will hundreds or thousands of people find peace, wonderment and joy? I don’t know, but They said it and I trust Them explicitly.

Alien

I recently had a client who was not from this world. Literally. She was not from planet Earth. I’m not talking about her physical body. I’m talking about her soul.

It’s not the first time I’ve encountered a ‘Superior Being’ (my terminology) in my line of Work, but they are a rarity and beautiful to work on.

Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout, Willis? Ahhh… I’m so glad you asked! Let me enlighten (pun intended!) you. First though, I didn’t get permission to tell her story. In truth, I didn’t ask. Out of respect for her, I’ll keep this as generic as I can. Her story will resonate with only a few of you.

Her intuitive Reiki session began as any other session does. There wasn’t anything different or out of the ordinary. This is where it changes (hear a record being scratched).

I was suddenly struck with the knowledge that she is literally not of this world. I instantly felt humbled to be in this Superior Being’s presence. Yeah, yeah…physically she’s a female trying to find her way, not unlike the rest of us. She has her physical and emotional struggles just like us. For all practical purposes, she’s human. But here’s where she differs from (most of) you and me.

She comes from a place so advanced that if needed answers, you mentally asked your supercomputer brain. I kept hearing, “It’s just energy. It’s just energy.” Meaning this Being came from a place where it was all energy. No physical forms, no houses, no money, no cancer. Just energy. Colors moving and flowing and pulsing. A place where you could seamlessly meld with other energies and access an amalgamation of knowledge.

She’s highly intelligent. School was boring and rather limited. In truth, she maybe could have skipped a grade or two. Again, she is human with human struggles, sorrows and fears. But on top of all of that, she’s also here to solely (souly?) help mankind. She has a huge desire to help people. Let me tell you, ‘helping people’ is what she’s here to do. It’s WHY she came to Earth. It’s programmed into her DNA.

Her metabolism is amazing. Meaning she could eat a bagel for breakfast and still feel sustained and nourished for the rest of the day. Where she comes from, you don’t eat. You don’t need to.

So imagine this Being deciding to come to planet Earth to help Heal the planet and those that inhabit it. She doesn’t understand our mannerisms or speech or non-verbal cues. It would be as if she spoke French and landed in an English speaking culture. She had to learn our language, our culture, why some of us do what we do and others don’t. Learning comes easily to her but she had to do all of this while still trying to figure out how to navigate in a restrictive, physical body.

Let’s roll play (oh goody!). Imagine you’re a guest in another country. It’s still foreign to you, but you’ve been there long enough to feel comfortable. You struggle with feelings of not fitting in. You struggle because it feels like nobody ‘sees’ you. Can you imagine? Firstly, there are not many of ‘your kind’ on Earth, let alone on one continent. Secondly, the odds of finding someone who really recognizes you is minimal. You still long for the unconditional energy you were at Home.

Working on someone who has selflessly and willingly chosen to leave her Home and incarnate on a planet that is filled with murder, hostility and ego is nothing short of amazing. There’s not a lot of these souls who choose to incarnate here. Would you? Would you say, ‘Ok, I don’t speak the language and I’m going to be tethered to a human body that is cumbersome and needs to eat and has strong emotions. Then my supercomputer brain is going to have to work within the constraints of my mostly undeveloped human brain and oh yeah, I’ve got to figure out how to fit in somehow while I’m trying to figure out how to help the world.’

Leaving a place that doesn’t have wars or murder or even death for a place that does sounds like a fool’s game. Not for these Beings. They have such a strong desire to help that they’ll take the odds.

It is truly a gift and a thing of beauty to be able to give something back to these selfless Beings. Namaste, Superior Being. I see you.

Career

There were two professions I wanted to be when I grew up. The first was a nurse. Well, the nurse idea bit the bullet long before it was a full-fledged glimmer in my eye. I thought I wanted to be a Candy Striper at a local hospital. You know, deliver some flowers, get an extra blanket and fluff a pillow. I was allll excited to do this UNTIL the person who was training me told me there was a morgue in the hospital. Whaaa? A morgue IN the hospital? Cue the heebie jeebies for this little 16 year old. I could feel my face whiten and something akin to panic start in my stomach. I had a severe case of ‘flight, fight or freeze.’ I took flight. I couldn’t burn out of that hospital fast enough.

I don’t know why I was so traumatized by the thought that there were bodies in a hospital. I mean, did I think everyone got better? Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know why I had such a major reaction to that little tidbit of news. I DO know it took me months to return my Candy Striper uniform. 😉 I was just that freaked out. That effectively ended my thoughts of being a nurse.

The other profession was an actor (back then women were called ‘actresses’ and men were ‘actors’). Now that one DID take flight. I loved being on stage and acting. I loved it. I had a real affinity for it. I performed in plays throughout my high school years and then musicals after I graduated. Yes, I said ‘musicals’ and yes, I sang. In public. Without the aid of a shower. To lots and lots of people. Me. Singer. Once upon a time.

While I was in high school, my DECA teacher told me he set up an interview for a part-time teller position at a local bank. Ok. Coolio. Up until then my main source of income was as the “World’s Richest Babysitter” as one family lovingly called me and working in the camera section of White Drug. Banking? Why not?

Little did I know that interview would be the start of my 21-year career. I moved from being a teller to the Consumer Lending side. There I processed loans but I really, REALLY wanted to be a loan officer. Not much later I became a Direct Consumer Lending Underwriter. It was better than a Loan Officer (in my eyes) as I didn’t have to deal with customers. I dealt with branch personnel who dealt with customers. I loved, LOVED that job. But, as you fellow bankers know, time marches on in the acquisition world of banking and my beloved bank was taken over by another.

I moved on to a few different positions until my final position as an Internal Auditor for the ND branch offices. I tell ya, I have an eye for detail and I was goooooood at picking up on what people wanted to hide. I didn’t even know I was an intuitive back then.

Long story short, I was quite happy in banking. I didn’t have a college degree as I opted to go full-time right out of high school. I was being promoted regularly so I must have been doing something right. My dad finally quit saying, “You should go to college” after I received my fourth or fifth promotion. That was a relief because college never did hold any appeal to me. I completely get where my dad was coming from. He knew how important a college degree would be even back in the early 80’s.

Fast forward to 2001. My banking career is over. I was burned out and didn’t want to go back into banking. I just felt restless, like there was something else for me. I received a great severance payment so I was comfortable taking some time off to heal from the loss of my marriage, job and career. I worked at what I called, ‘fun networking’ jobs but, as usual, I was bored rather quickly. Interesting fact about me, once I figure things out I am bored by the repetition of it all.

I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. Can you imagine? At age 17 I was in what would become my career. I didn’t job hop. I stayed with the same bank. So what to do for the old benjamins. What to do…..

Oh gee. I think I’ll open up a business that is based on energy work. And, oh yeah, I’m going to incorporate intuitive messages with this energy work. Yep, that goes over really well in a conservative, conventional, meat and potatoes kind of life.

But I did it. My mom was gone by then and I was scared to tell my dad. Bless his beautiful heart, he said, “Well, I guess that’s alright. Will you be able to support yourself?” I smile at this memory as my dad is gone now too, and I totally understand what he was and wasn’t saying.

Sometimes life takes turns that you wouldn’t even dare think about. If someone had told me I’d be finished with my banking career at age 38, I wouldn’t have believed them. But look how beautifully this was all orchestrated. Can you imagine all the events or things that had to go into making this happen? I left a very comfortable, acceptable, sound career and started one that is very esoteric, un-logical and incredibly rewarding.

While I may not be in the acting profession, I’m very comfortable delivering the channeled messages, being in front of a crowd or in the spotlight. I may not be a nurse, but I am helping to heal people. Doing my Work fulfills both my childhood aspirations. Interesting how it all worked out, huh?

Ain’t life grand?

Agnostic

Melissa’s Note: I didn’t start out writing the blog that this became. In truth, I was tired of repeatedly hearing the word “agnostic” and decided it must be the Word of the Month that my Guys wanted me to pass on to you. I even looked up the meaning in the dictionary (see below), but as usual, when I sat down to compose the blog; something else sprang from my fingertips.

Before I continue, I need to tell you about the other person involved in this story. She is one of my besties and has known me since 1989. She lovingly and kindly took me under her wing when I first moved to Fargo. She invited me into her home and to her son’s football game. We struck up an odd friendship (I was very outspoken and she was very tactful) that has persevered through divorces, deaths, weddings, children and many, many good bottles of wine. She knows the ‘old’ me and the ‘new’ me and I love her dearly.

Recently we met for lunch and she mentioned she talked about me at her bible study. I instantly reverted back to my old, icky insecure feelings of ‘Why? Who would want to talk about me? I’m just some gal from Minot.’ Yes, I know. I’m working on this. Hey! I’m a work in progress, too, you know. 😉

When I asked her why, she said they were talking about wisdom and she told her group I was the wisest person she knew. Well {blink, blink}, I didn’t see THAT coming. Me? The wisest person this amazingly beautiful, gentle, loving gift from God knew was me? ME?!!! Of all the people she has met over the years. Of all the people who have helped her grow and heal and laugh, she said my name?! I smiled and with astonishment said, ‘I AM?! I had NO idea!’ She smiled and nodded her head yes. I asked, “Why?”

She said something that led me to have one of my most profound moments in a long time. I’ll paraphrase this as it’s already been a week and I’m not sure my brain can remember what I did this morning. Ahem. She said she told her group that I used to be rather agnostic. I had to stop her as I didn’t know the meaning of that word. I’d been ‘hearing’ it for weeks and now she just said it. No coincidences, right? She told me the definition and then indicated how the ‘old’ me may have believed in God, but didn’t believe in God.

Ahhhhh grassshopppahhhhhhhh. That got me thinking. I was raised going to church. I was baptized, confirmed and married in a church. But going to church did not resonate with me, not as a child, a teen or even as an adult. Perhaps I hadn’t found the right church or religion, but that’s neither here nor there. I was bored, bored, BORED by the sermons. I didn’t understand the language or the topics. My dad would reprimand me if I was fidgeting. It was an hour of me trying to find things to think about and appear like I was semi-alert. The only thing I truly liked was singing the hymns.

But, as my bestie went on to say, the ‘old’ me didn’t talk about God even though I had a structured religious upbringing. Now, some 15 years later (insert irony here), I have evolved into a highly spiritual person and she says I can’t stop talking about God.

Well, I’ll be knocked over with a feather. She’s right but did YOU see that one coming?! Me either!! That’s what I love about my Work, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

And now on to the definition of Agnostic, as defined by my Webster’s 9^th collegiate dictionary:

to know – more to KNOW
one who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable.
noncommittal, undogmatic, doubtful

I get why my Guys were hounding me with this word. That’s another thing I love about my Work. When I hear words that are repeated and repeated and repeated (you know, until I wise up and look up the definition), there is always a spiritual meaning relevant to you, others or me. For me, I think I’m being told there is ‘more to KNOW.’

Protein

Before I could even get the preliminaries out of the way, I was hearing loudly and frantically that my client needed to eat more protein. The Guys are usually softer and quieter in their approach but when they’ve been trying to get your attention, you get ‘punch in the gut’ loud and blunt. So for this sweet lady, all I could do was stammer, “Protein! You’ve got to eat more protein NOW. You’re body is cannibalizing itself. It’s starving!! You’ve got to get on consuming more protein NOW, NOW, NOW!!!”

That’s not the first time I’ve heard a client needs to eat more protein. I’ve heard it for both men and women of all ages. Again, when there is a reoccurring theme to what I’m hearing, it usually means more people are experiencing the same issue and will benefit from educating themselves about it.

Let’s talk about what protein does for our beautiful bodies. When we eat a protein source, our body breaks it down and then uses it to create new protein that is used to grow, maintain and repair our cells. OUR CELLS…Hello…HUGE!! According to one website http://www.helpwithcooking.com/nutrition-information/protein-guide.html, protein is vital for practically every process that occurs within our body. Think: metabolism, digestion and the transportation of nutrients and oxygen in the blood.

Protein is also necessary in order to produce antibodies. Antibodies fight against infection and illness. Protein is also the main nutrient that keeps our hair shiny and healthy, our nails strong, our skin fresh and glowing and our bones strong and healthy. Little old unassuming protein. Who knew??

So what happens if we don’t get enough protein? You mean OTHER than our body literally eating itself to stay alive? Well, if it’s the precursor to antibodies, then it stands to reason we’ll be ill more often. How about being tired and having skin issues (rashes, change in pigment, hair loss, etc.)? Yep. Definitely. Our hair and nails will become brittle and as was the case for me, my hair broke off in sections. This was when I was nursing our daughter and thought I WAS consuming enough protein. My body said otherwise. I knew better, dang it. I totally knew better!

As a side note, I also know and love a certain ‘all I will eat is packaged and highly processed food from a box’ young teen whose hair has fallen out in a two inch diameter spot and is not regrowing. I knew long before this blog was even a twinkle in my eye that his body was suffering from a diet that was uber deficient in daily protein.

Of all the information the Ascended Ones/Guardian Angels could tell me, of ALL the information they want you to know, they often start out by saying my client needs more protein. Is it any wonder? Protein is so vital to, well, our life!

A question I’m often asked is, “Well, how much protein do I need?” I shrug my shoulders and say, “I dunno… I’m just the messenger.” So for this blog, I decided to make it easy for you to see how much protein you need if you are an average person. I hope it goes without saying that if you are athletic (meaning lifting weights, doing yoga, training for a marathon, etc.), over weight/under weight, bodybuilding, pregnant or nursing, you’ll need to look into amping up your protein consumption.

Here’s a protein chart from the CDC: (http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/basics/protein.html).

Recommended Dietary Allowance for Protein
	Grams of protein needed each day
Children ages 1 – 3	13
Children ages 4 – 8	19
Children ages 9 – 13	34
Girls ages 14 – 18	46
Boys ages 14 – 18	52
Women ages 19 – 70+	46
Men ages 19 – 70+	56

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s briefly talk about protein sources and how easy it really is to get your daily allowance.

1 cup milk = 8 grams

1 large egg = 6 grams

1 cup yogurt = 8 to 12 grams

1 cup cooked beans (black, pinto, lentil, etc.) = 14 to 20 grams

1 chicken breast (3.5 oz) = 30 grams

1 hamburger pattie (4 oz) = 28 grams

1 cup tofu = 36 grams

1 cup nuts (various) = 32 grams

This is just a snapshot of what’s out there. Pasta, for instance, is often fortified with protein. Some fruits and veggies have trace amounts of protein, too. Don’t forget about the great protein drinks/powders out there, either. I find them to be an easy way to get more protein into my body. If you’d like to check out more protein sources, here’s the website I used: http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/whattoeat/a/highproteinfood

Can you get too much protein? Why, yes you can, Virginia! Good question! Our body doesn’t have the ability to store protein, so any excess will be converted into glucose or stored as fat. Too much protein consumption can actually lead to osteoporosis. And if you’re eating too much meat protein, you run the risk of gout, high-cholesterol, heart disease and stroke. Now, what constitutes as too much protein? That you’ll need to figure out for yourself (or consult with a physician, nutritional consultant, etc.).

As I’ve said before, I know just enough about this stuff to be mildly dangerous. I don’t profess to have all the answers. I mean, I’m a Holistic Healer, not a Dietary Aide. I consider this blog as something to, uhhhh, grow on. Literally.

Perkins

We were returning from a family vacation and were hungry so we decided to stop at Perkins. It was an easy on, easy off for the two road warriors plus une petite bebe.

We sat at a table like every other table. Our server was sweet and efficient. We entertained our daughter with crayons and cheerios. She, then officially one year old, entertained us by throwing everything within her reach.

She smiled at an elderly gentleman and he smiled back. His energy was kind and gentle. He played peek-a-boo with her from his table. She giggled and giggled and kept looked over her shoulder at him.

I was worried our daughter would annoy him as she kept smiling and pointing. He was enjoying dinner with his misses. Well, I assume it was his wife as they had an easy cadence about them. The kind you can only get after 50 some years of daily life together.

Each and every time I snuck a peak in his direction, he was smiling and playing peek-a-boo with her. She was thoroughly enjoying herself and it appeared he honestly was, too.

As our meal ended and theirs continued, I was struck with a thought that we needed to buy their meal. This is not uncommon for my husband and I as we often practice random acts of kindness like this. I said to my husband, “I think we should buy their meal.” His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly and he stammered, “I, I was having the exact same thought! But I was wondering if we should just buy their drinks or do the whole meal with tip.” I said, “If we both had the same thought at almost the exact same time, there must be a reason. No coincidences, right? Let’s buy their meal.”

We quietly told our server what we wanted to do. She looked surprised and then broke into a smile and said, “That is SO sweet. How nice of you!” We paid for our meal and for theirs and left the restaurant feeling really, really good. There’s something about secretly doing something nice for someone that makes you just feel good, you know? It’s also nice to wonder how good the recipients of your random act will feel and if they’ll pay it forward.

About five miles down the road, out of the blue, I was struck by a thought that our daughter orchestrated the whole, “you should buy them their meal” business. Nahhhh, the logical side of me said, it couldn’t be. She couldn’t have told us both to buy their meal. Could she?! How could she do that?! She’s just a year old (tsk, tsk, Melissa…like chronological age has anything to do with anything except on the physical plane). As I thought about it, it was the only thing that COULD have happened. It was the only thing that made sense. And I’m pretty sure my earlier ‘thought’ was really an intuitive ‘hit.’

My eyes widened, my hand went to my mouth and I said with wonderment, “I think love bug did that! Back there at the restaurant. I think she told us to buy grandpa and grandma their meal. Think about it. We both had the same thought at almost the exact same time and she was having so much fun with grandpa. It HAS to be her.” He was quiet for a few seconds and then he said, “Yep. I agree.”

Almost immediately, his voice broke into a smile and he said, “What are we going to do with her when she’s a teenager? Is she going to telepathically tell us that she wants a pony and you and I are going to be powerless to stop her? Or what if she telepathically tells us to forget about her curfew? What then!?”

He was joking, of course, because mind-control is not part of telepathy, unless you’re in an X-Men movie. But really, what do I know? I was just schooled by a sweet little, unassuming one year old that hadn’t even uttered her first intelligible word.

Control

I once told a new client I was a recovering Control-a-holic. Her face whitened, her eyes widened and her posture changed. She said, “You mean, you’re going to use handcuffs or tie me down during session?!” Blink. Blink. Whaaa!??? NO! Oh my! What I was trying to communicate is that I would thoroughly explain what was to take place during her intuitive Reiki session. Yikes!

My early spiritual growth was intensely painful only because I didn’t listen the first 947 times God gently tried to get my attention. I was determined (read: stubborn), self-motivated (read: impatient) and enthusiastic (read: obsessive). Therefore, I respectfully overlooked (read: ignored) a lot of what could have been much easier lessons for me to learn.

I believe there are several stages God (or the Universe or whatever you want to call it) goes through in order to get your attention. It may start with the “Soft, Gentle Whisper.” If you repeatedly ignore that, you’ll get the “Loud Booming Voice.” Ignore that and you’ll hear the “Banshee Yell.” Then it moves on to the “Punch in the Gut” and to what I like to call, “The Fetal Posish.” I like to think that last one was created just for (or because!) of me.

Because of the aforementioned attributes, I have personally experienced the “Fetal Posish” several (hundred) times. {Cough} I didn’t know then if I would have just dealt with the ant hill the first or even the ninth time I heard the whisper, I may not have had to deal with the seemingly insurmountably painful mountains later on.

In hindsight, if I had simply (simply?! Pishaw!) given up control, I might have been living on Spiritual Easy Street. Instead, I spent a fair amount of time living on Agony Avenue because I tried (‘tried’ being the operative word!) to control people, situations and outcomes. Hey! It’s what I knew. It’s how I was raised and it was comfortable. Change can be scary.

As my girl Susie often said directly to me (ahem!), “Control is an illusion.” Man, I just didn’t get it. What do you mean, it’s an ‘illusion’??! I didn’t even begin to understand the truth of that statement until years later. I mean, in the physical world, if I worked hard, I was promoted. If I was promoted, I earned more money. If I earned more money, I could afford nicer things. Wellll…..in the spiritual world, it doesn’t quite work that way.

If you’re trying to advance or grow spiritually and you’re a control freak, you’re going to have to go against what you’ve done your entire life. If you push and push in the spiritual realm, you can bet on a whole lot of nothing, except frustration, coming your way.

You see if you push, you muddy the spiritual waters. This makes it harder for you to see what needs to be done and for your Astral ‘Managers’ to do their job, which is manifesting your wants/needs/desires. Think of it this way. Trying to force things to happen in the spiritual realm is a lot like trying to push a string; it just gets balled up and snarled.

So what do you do? Well, here’s what works for me.

Get out of your way. Whatever that means for you. Maybe it’s letting go of ego. Maybe it’s being kinder to yourself. Maybe it’s practicing forgiveness (that comes up a LOT in sessions!). Maybe it’s stopping the pity-pot meltdowns and foot stomping when stuff doesn’t appear or happen on YOUR timeline.
Trust. You can’t see oxygen but we need it to live. Same with Trust. You cannot advance spiritually unless you know how to trust. Trust in yourself, trust in others and trust in things you can’t see, hear, touch, or smell.
Let your Universe know exactly what you’d like, not what you don’t like. Believe me, there is a difference. Write it down. Post it on your fridge. Make it your computer password.
Repeat steps 1 and 2 as needed and repeat step 3 every now and then. The Universe HAS heard you.

There it is! These four items, in my opinion, are the backbone of it all. Let go of control. It ISN’T real. Seriously. The only person you can control is yourself and sometimes we don’t do a good job of that, either. If you want to try to control something, maybe take a look at how you express your anger. Does that need to be changed or tweaked?

I’ll leave you with this. If the thought of letting go of control fills you with fear, panic and/or anxiety, then you may be in for a lifetime (insert echo here) of “Punch in the Gut” and “Fetal Posish.” And what’s worse? I believe if you don’t learn the lessons you came here to learn, you’ll have a least one more lifetime in which you get to repeat the same (or worse) mistakes. The same (or worse) experience that result in the same (let me hear it! OR WORSE) hurt/frustration/agony. And you may not start out with the ‘Soft, Gentle Whisper’ next time. Nope. You may start out with the ‘Banshee Yell.’ Lovely to think about, isn’t it? NOT!

Do what you need to do to grow. Don’t worry about anyone else, as they’ll need to deal with their own set of illusions, whispers and gut-punches.

Insomnia

Insomnia is my kryptonite. It wrecks me. In one short night, I go from rested to spastic. I get out of bed crabby because, you guessed it, I couldn’t sleep. Gone is the positive, optimistic, up-beat, glass-half-full person. Instead, I morph into something barely human. I literally growl like a small dog. My Temper Flare-Up button is stuck in the on position and a pity pot meltdown is just one misinterpreted comment away. No. I do not do insomnia well, Sam I Am. I do not like it, not even with green eggs and ham.

I’ve always been an ‘8 hours of sleep a night’ kind of girl. I inherited my sleep gene from my dad, who was a Master Napper, by the way. Anything short of eight hours, and I’m a little off. Anything way short of eight hours and I’m a lot off.

Lately I’ve noticed my nighttime rest isn’t, wellllll, restful. I’ve talked with others who are experiencing insomnia and as I’ve said before, when one or five or 15 of my clients are experiencing something, there’s usually more people who are and it’s usually an energetic thing.

Something that has saved my insomnia-riddled brain in the past was my nappies. Before I used to think of my nappies as a decadent luxury. Now I think of them as basic survival. To be clear, my use of the word ‘nappies’ is not the same as the UK term, which means diapers. 😉 I used to feel guilty about napping, as if it was just for ‘old people.’ Now to get a nappy in is bragging rights and I usually herald it from the mountaintops. If the Girl Scouts had a badge for napping, I’d proudly wear it.

I’ve been off the nappy-train for about six months now. There’s just too much that needs to be attended to, including writing these labor-of-love blogs. Speaking of that, I’d like you all to know I got my bum handed to me on a platter earlier this week by my Guys. When Susie and I were working on each other (Reiki), she saw me as a sunflower that had been pulled out of the ground. My ‘roots’ were drying up. I told her I was feeling good. She said I was withering from the roots (feet) up. She said I had literally been uprooted because I wasn’t getting ‘nourishment.’

Nourishment? Whaaa??? I heard, “Nap.” No sooner did I hear this word than Susie said I was being told to NAP! Bam! There it is!! Oooooh yes, I understand how my napping provides spiritual nourishment and physical replenishment. I get it. I really, really do.

So if this latest energy thing is all about insomnia, how are we supposed to cope? Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer. I wish I did. Maybe if I wasn’t so dang tired I could stumble upon something. I guess we just go about doing what we can and wait for this to pass. I mean we don’t have much of a choice.

For me, I know what I have to do. The message was clear. I need to cut back on some of my activities and reintegrate my naps at least until this energy has worked its way through. That may mean cutting back on my blogs. I didn’t realize how much time is spent composing, proofreading and re-writing. I’m really enjoying these blogs and I know you guys are too, but when the Guys speak, I need to pay attention. I’ve ignored Them before and I do NOT want the smack-down I KNOW would be coming if I repeatedly ignored Their messages. I’ve been down that road before, don’t want to go back and I’ll blog about that another day.

Nighty-night. Sleep tight. Pray Mr. Sandman comes tonight.

Progesterone

Several years ago I was talking with my bestie about how lucky I was to have short periods. She, who was getting her Masters in Nutrition at the time, showed me a different side to that thinking.

She said if my periods were short (meaning under 5 to 7 days), then my body may not have enough progesterone. At the time I didn’t care. I mean, 2 to 3 day periods!? Hells to the YEEEEESSSSSSS please!

Au Contraire! Turns out not having enough progesterone can affect more than just Aunt Flo. According to the book, “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause” by Dr. John R. Lee, Estrogen Dominance can cause a whole bunch of health issues such as:

Allergies Anxiety Breast Cancer Low Libido Depression Weight Gain Fatigue Fibrocystic Breasts Headaches Irritability Insomnia Miscarriage Migraines Thyroid Uterine Fibroids PMS Hair Loss Strokes Infertility Cold Hands and Feet

So you can see when you have more estrogen in relation to progesterone or when estrogen is not balanced BY progesterone, a while bunch of hurt can happen.

Let’s talk about progesterone for a minute. Progesterone is one of the primary hormones made in the ovaries. It’s necessary for the survival of a fertilized egg. Progesterone is a precursor to so many other hormones. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see why being Progesterone Deficient/Estrogen Dominant can really mess with a girl!

While I am by NO MEANS an authority on this stuff, I do know enough to be mildly dangerous. Let me put some of this in layman’s (ahhhhh, layWOMAN’s) terms for you. For me, being Progesterone Deficient meant that for the two weeks following ovulation, I couldn’t concentrate, sleep or make decisions. I was irritable and unbelievably physically fatigued (well beyond what happens with a night or two of insomnia) as well as headaches that increased in intensity as I neared my period.

I can remember planning my first wedding and trying to decide when I’d be ovulating and when I’d have my period. I knew our wedding had to be during the first two weeks of my cycle as I would be a mess the last two weeks. This was back in 1996! I don’t even know how long I had been feeling like that prior to ‘96.

Fast forward to circa 2003 and cue my girl, Charmaine. At the time she was my personal trainer and as personal trainers do, they often help you with so many other things than building muscle. A deep and profound friendship grew from our personal training sessions. Eventually, I confided in her how I’d been feeling and she thought I might benefit from being on a progesterone cream. She said this might help level out my hormones and it might help my body prepare for a baby.

Step back for a second. Remember what I said earlier? About how progesterone is critical to the survival of a fertilized egg?? Uh huh… Maybe this part should have been included in my “Miracle” blog as I KNOW it helped.

So, let’s see…how old was I….41, 42 maybe? Yeah. I’ll try this progesterone cream. I mean, what did I have to loose besides gripping headaches and overwhelming fatigue?

Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. I felt better. Maybe not the first month or the second month, but by the third month of applying the cream, I felt semi-human after ovulation. My symptoms were diminishing and I could actually function. I was sleeping better, had less severe headaches and I handled conflict more easily than before.

Flash forward to 2011. Pregnant. No need to be on progesterone cream as my body was hormonally balanced. In fact, I felt better pregnant than at any other point in my life (hormonally speaking, that is). I didn’t have mood swings or food cravings (although I tried to pass off my increased process sugar eating as an intense craving!) and I was sooooooo calm. I felt really, really good.

How do I know this progesterone thing isn’t bunk? You know, something made up by pharmaceutical companies to sell a product to us aging women? I know because I was not able to use my cream for five months after I gave birth. My intense Estrogen Dominant/Progesterone Deficient symptoms came back after two months. I was a little slow on the uptake and didn’t realize what was going on until month four. After confirming it was safe to start using my progesterone cream, I began again and viola! My symptoms diminished.

If you think you might have issues with progesterone/estrogen and you don’t have a bestie like Charmaine in your life, she suggested you check with your doctor and/or In Health Pharmacy (http://www.inhealthcompounding.com/). They do hormone level checks. Now, granted, your hormones can change hourly (sometimes by the minute!?!) so their test will only be a snapshot of your levels. But it’s a starting point, right?

For me, I still use and love what Charmaine recommended all those years ago. It’s “Serenity Bio-Identical Progesterone Cream” in original formula. I get it on-line from: http://progesterone.com/store/serenity-progesterone-creams/serenity-progesterone-creams/

Ladies, I’m not saying that when you get a headache or feel extreme fatigue or experience any of the above listed symptoms, the ONLY cause is low progesterone/high estrogen. No way! I’m not a doctor and I didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, either. What I’m saying is maybe by me writing this blog, I’ve opened up another (hormonal) avenue for you to explore towards better health. Who knows! Maybe you’ll find the help you may not have known you needed. 😉

Miracle

You crazy cats! I’ve gotten two emails today stating you are waiting in suspense for the next installment of yesterday’s blog! Whatta hooot! I love it! Thank you. Wait no more……..

(NOTE: This blog is a continuation of yesterday’s “Vasectomy” blog.)

We used birth control until well after we were married. I kept saying, “Honey. I really want to give birth to your little girl” and he kept mumbling something about, oh I don’t know, not being ready or something silly. I, being 6 (or is it 7?) years older than him (he jokingly calls me ‘cougar.’ I do NOT find humor in it), didn’t have a huge window of time to wait. I mean, HELLO!

Even as we still practiced safe sex (giggle), Susie kept saying, “You’re going to be pregnant in xxx.” Then “xxx” would come and I wouldn’t be pregnant. I didn’t give up hope though, as I know how these spiritual timelines can be juked. My husband still wasn’t on board with us having a baby. Ahhh, kind of crucial, don’t ‘cha think?!

Then one night as we were having dinner out, he looked up at me and in little more than a whisper said, “I think we should try.” GULP! Whaaa??! Now it was my turn to get my freak out on. Here, all my dreams were coming true and I was scared beyond scared. I think I chewed off all my fingernails in about 2.2 seconds. If we weren’t in public and in a restaurant, I may have taken off my shoes/socks and started on my toenails!! Not kidding!

Those five little words, “I think we should try” wrecked me. I think I was 44 at the time he said this. I had been so independent my entire life that now that having a baby was a real possibility, I wasn’t sure I wanted to get pregnant. How’s that for a shocker?! I mean, for a lifetime, I knew how many pregnancies/children I would have and I had wanted our baby girl for so, SO long, that now, when I was presented with the remote chance we’d have her, I was not sure I wanted to try! Sigh.

Susie had been telling me I’d get pregnant with an egg released from my right side. Me, knowing my body pretty well, knew exactly when I was ovulating and what side I was ovulating on. It had been a joke for months between my husband and I that I couldn’t get pregnant as I was ovulating on the left side. Well, guess what? Left side ovulation? Pregnant.

Now you should know when people do intuitive work, there is ALWAYS room for us humans to change what we are being told. I trust and respect Susie. She has saved my life in more ways than one. She is spot on with her intuitive information. She is a beautiful and gifted Healer. She married my husband and I. I love her. I would not be who or where I am today without her gentle mentorship and fierce friendship.

So I’m wondering why she heard, time after time after time, that I would become pregnant from an egg released from my right side. You know what I came up with? I think I was subconsciously stopping the pregnancy from happening each time I ovulated on the right side. Yeah, I do. Looking back, my energy was just different in the months where I didn’t think I could get pregnant (i.e. left side ovulation) versus the months I thought I could. I know there are no coincidences and I believe our Guys told her that information because They saw the bigger picture.

Now let me add some more color to this story. If I had conceived on my right side, my body would have aborted our baby. I’ll say it again, if I would have had our baby implant on my right side, she would not be here today. None of us knew this until our little stinker decided to go breach the night before I gave birth. It turned out that during my emergency C-section, it was discovered I had a ‘deviated uterus’ meaning, my uterus is split in two, uneven halves. The right side was the smaller side and would not have been able to sustain growing life.

Even the fact that baby girl went from being in the correct birthing position to breach all within 8 hours of the start of my labor, is not without significance. Her umbilical cord had been wrapped around her neck and I was told she may not have made it through the ‘normal’ birthing process alive.

Are you starting to see that there truly are no coincidences? That everything DOES happen for a reason? You may not be aware of that reason for 50 years, but there IS a reason.

Our little girl coming to join us is nothing short of a miracle. Just look at all the dynamics that went into bringing her here. Look at everything that needed to happen. “The Miracle of Life” has a whole new meaning for us.

I wrote this story for those of you who desperately want a baby. DON’T. GIVE. UP! Look at all the groundwork that needed to be laid in order for our baby to happen. Do what you need to do for you, whether it’s balancing your hormones, taking fertility tests or maybe just taking some pressure off of yourself. When the time is right, IF it’s right, it’ll happen for you, too.