Aiden

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This is an email from one of my students. I found it to be so powerful and moving that I asked for (and received) permission to publish it. I left it how Lyn wrote it as I didn’t want to diminish her energy, essence and message.

Oh yeah. Grab the kleenix.  And Lyn, thanks for allowing me to share this story with my blog readers.

“You better sit down for this one….

Two weeks ago on Monday, my sister Mary, (who I’ve asked you to send Reiki before) and her husband Jeff had the worst experience a parent could have.  Their sweet 10 year old son, Aiden, died mysteriously in his sleep.  He was a special needs little boy with Fragile X which I may have told you about…so he was 10 but had the mental capacity of about a 5 year old.  He went to school – main streamed – and did so well.  He was a sweet, sweet boy and always asked people if they were happy.

Mary went to wake him up on Monday morning for school and she found him dead on the floor.  To say that this has been a nightmare for both Mary and Jeff is slight.  John and I drove as fast as we could to MN to be with them.  I stayed with them until last Thursday.

There is so much that happened but I wanted to tell you about a few things.  Mary, my aunt, and you are the few I can share some of my experiences because YOU KNOW.

The morning that Aiden died, I woke from a crazy dream about 6am (7 central) where I was frantically trying to call 911 and it was all jumbled up.   Mary was calling 911 at that time.

When I got to her house, she said she was afraid to go back into Aiden’s room because he had died laying on his stomach so he was all purple when she found him – and not the way she wanted to remember Aiden. She asked if I could clear the room. I really didn’t know what the hell I was going to do but thought I’d give it a try.

When I went in the room, there was an extreme heaviness – dark pressure but I knew it wasn’t Aiden. So I opened all the windows used Reiki to fill the room with love and peace – swooshing the dark energy out the windows, putting my hands on the floor where Aiden had laid and tried to calm the area asking for whatever was holding itself in the room to leave. After that, I sat on the bed and was quiet, asking for further guidance. I heard we should change the bedding and put on white sheets and a fresh blanket and Aiden’s favorite blanket, when Mary was ready to do this. I asked Aiden to help his mom release the image of him on the floor and let her know it was not him…it was just the body. And then I left.

Hours later Mary and I both went in the room and it felt light. The next day we changed the bedding and the room remained quiet.

One evening before I went to bed, I went into Aiden’s room (which was right across from the room I was staying in) and knelt on the floor and laid my head down on his soft blanket. Gracie the cat was sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. I was overwhelmed with sadness and I prayed and cried hard. When I stopped and looked up, Gracie was sitting right in front of me with her face an inch away. She looked at me with big brown eyes and reached out her paw and tapped me a couple times on the chest – in a strange, reaching, comforting way.

I left the room. Gracie followed me into my room and hopped up on the bed by me. I looked at her and SHE HAS GREEN EYES. I swear Melissa, when she looked at me she had brown eyes – Aiden has big brown eyes. I didn’t tell Mary for a couple days because I thought I had taken a short ride on the looney train but I know it was real. I believe it was Aiden comforting me.  Mary believed me.

I also gave her Reiki on the day of Aiden’s funeral.  It helped her to clear her mind for a bit and stop thinking.

I continue to send Mary Reiki almost daily and she uses it when she needs calm.  Without Reiki, this incredibly sad situation would have been even sadder.  I (we – as in all the wise ones) were able to share bits of peace and a lot of love through it all.   I am ever so grateful that you and I made our connection and that I better understand how truly POWERFUL it is.  Over the past couple months I have had experiences and your encouragement that have me the confidence to share Reiki without hesitation in a situation where nothing else would help.

Of course Aiden’s death has changed us all but I have a new light in me that I don’t quite have words for…and I’m not trying too hard to label it….because it’s all good!

Your ever grateful student……………..Lyn”

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Fate (Part I)

 

There were so many teaser attempts to bring my husband and I together. We are both from the same home town, although I left at age 3. I lived in Minot, he lived in Minot. I moved to Fargo, he moved to Fargo. He was my youngest niece’s good friend all through high school and during her college years. I had heard her talk of Trinity often. Given these and other similarities, it’s odd we didn’t meet until after we were both married. My niece (Jessica) introduced us while my starter husband and I were in the process of building our home. Would you like to guess who installed the sound system in that home? Yep, Trinity.

Based on the fact that he was (and still is, I guess) six years younger than me and the fact I only knew him in a professional manner, I thought of him as ‘a very professional young man.’  And that’s that.  That’s where the story could have ended but as time marched on, we both became divorced. Jessica, through casual conversation, kept me in the loop on Trinity’s disastrous marriage and subsequent divorce.

A few years later, Jessica tells me Trinity is looking for some decorating advice and would it be OK for her to give him my phone number. Why sure! He’s a nice young man and at that time I was leaning towards taking up interior design as a profession.  Bet you didn’t know THAT about me, did ya? It’s a good thing it didn’t work out or IFR never would have come to be.

Trinity called me and while I was under the assumption he wanted my hand at picking paint colors, he was more concerned with how he could get his hands on me (can you blame him?!). We were visiting and the next thing I knew, he had morphed into a human octopus. He had his hands all over me and his tongue was half way down my throat.  EUWWW! GROSS!

In shock, I kissed back for a few seconds and then thought, “Eww. Yuck! He feels like a brother, not a boyfriend and WHERE did this all come from?! EWWWWWWW!”  I pushed him away and demanded to be brought home. I sat as far away from him and his tentacles as I could. I literally was hugging the passenger door.  Needless to say, there was no kiss goodbye. In some ways, he already had his kiss goodbye, if you know what I mean. I took my color swatches and marched my arse straight up to my apartment where I sat with my jaw hanging open in disbelief.

Mr. Kissy Face Octopus Gropey Hands called me when he got home and asked what had happened. Really?! Was I giving off signals that I wanted you to see if I had a tonsillectomy?! WITH YOUR TONGUE?! He said he took it as a good sign when I kissed back. Oh good Lord. He later (much later) admitted he thought I was smokin’ hot the first time he met me. Double oh good Lord.

I wasn’t sure I could get past feeling like his big sister and the false pretenses of him getting me to come over. He later admitted the whole interior decorating thing was a ruse. (eyeroll) Well LeDUH!

I must have been one brick short of a load as I agreed to go have supper with him. Maybe I was thinking it was a public place and he couldn’t get all handsy with me. I’d seen his type before. He was a total playah. He’d already told me he’d dated a lot (understatement) of women since his divorce and I had absolutely no intention of being a notch on his bedpost.  I knew, from uhhh experience, about men ‘like him’ and I knew I didn’t want anything to do with that. I wasn’t a player and I’d had my crazy what-was-I-thinking-oh-my-GAWD-why-did-I-do-that episodes after my own divorce.

That supper turned into another and another and pretty soon we had been dating for  almost two months. Somehow he had talked me into painting several rooms inside of his house.  At the time I was working for a professional painter/wallpaper hanger and he had taught me well.  Yes, another hat I was wearing before IFR came into light.  

When I was finishing painting the last room, he had opened a bottle of wine, checked his voice mail and said, “Huh. I just got a message from a girl I used to date. That’s weird. I wonder what she wants.”  Uh oh, boys and girls. Trouble ahead!

I had a fleeting feeling this was going to be trouble but by then I knew, I KNEW I loved this man and I suspected he loved me. I knew he was the One. I just knew it. Years and years ago I had gone to a psychic who said, “You’re not ready for him yet and he’s not ready for you. But he’s had a lot of women and he’s very…ummm…spicy.”  Yep, that would describe Trinity. But it went beyond what a psychic said. It was a feeling that I can’t explain but those of you who’ve experienced it understand what I’m yammering about.

After that phone call, he became distant. I saw him less and less. He didn’t call as much and I was trying my best not to call him as I was trying to do the “George.” I knew something was terribly wrong when I was unable to drive myself to a doctor appointment and he told me he couldn’t help me. Bad show, old boy. Bad show!

A few days later I was still in severe pain from a recently diagnosed kidney infection. Trinity came over to help with my computer and he was acting weird. He wouldn’t touch me, he wouldn’t look at me and he didn’t kiss me. What the what?!  I didn’t have the strength to talk with him about it but I knew. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew.  In fact, if memory serves, I think Jessica might have even said, “Do you think he has another girlfriend?”  Hummmm….

A day later he called and said, “I have to break up with you. I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing, but I can’t see you anymore. I don’t know if this is right but I just have to break up with you.”  Blink. Blink. Blink. Whaaa?  True to form, when I’m under extreme duress, I become very calm and I morph into a plan of action type of girl.  I remember calmly saying, “Ok. Go do what you need to do.”  I had to stop myself from finishing that sentence with, “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

He hung up. I stared at the phone. My very dry mouth hung open to my chest. What the hell just happened? I was in shock. I didn’t cry or freak out and I think it’s because I didn’t have any blood left in my upper body.

I called Susie and said, “He broke up with me. Trinity just broke up with me.” And then I burst into tears.

Click here for more: Fate (part ii)

Teacher

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Years ago, I was walking on a treadmill next to an unknown woman with beautiful long silver hair. The energy emanating from her was of peace, serenity and composure. I kept sneaking glances at her and trying to figure out what it was about her. Finally, I gave in to my inner voice and told her how beautiful her energy was. She turned, looked at me and said, “Thank you.  And you are a beautiful teacher.” I stammered, “Oh no. I’m not a teacher. I’m an ex-banker.”  She smiled tenderly and said, “No. You are a teacher.”

I’ve thought about her and her statement quite often. It occurred to me that yes, I AM a teacher. I’ve been teaching for most of my life. Early in my banking career I trained the new hires, then created manuals and then taught people the correct way to adhere to those manuals.

When I found Reiki, it never once occurred to me I wouldn’t teach this beautiful healing craft. In fact, I knew within minutes of experiencing Reiki that I would someday teach this to others. My banking career allowed me to know what I wanted (and didn’t want) in a curriculum and in my teaching style.

Now, it seems, I’ve accepted the responsibility of a different type of teaching. This ‘job’ will be full-time for at least 18 years. It’s funny that I never really thought of being a mom as being a teacher. I didn’t view my parents that way and I’m not sure they viewed parenthood as being teachers either. Maybe this is a knowing you get when you are an older (much older) parent. I’m positive I wouldn’t have viewed my role as a teacher if I would have had a baby in my 20’s or even my 30’s.

As parents, we unknowingly teach our children our bad habits as well as our good ones. We do this by just living our life. If we have been doing something the same way for most of our life, it comes naturally to us. It IS us. We may, while in the presence of our children, swear a blue streak at a slow driver (or the Minnesota Vikings) or pitch a huge fit complete with foot stomping and slamming of doors. We may also use derogatory slurs we learned while growing up. 

We will be teaching our little ones so many things including how to deal with anger, jealousy and resentment. We will be teaching our babies how to deal with losing, aggression and general meanness. We will be teaching this sometimes without saying a word. They will closely watch how we react and then that’s how and what they will learn. If we are prone to drama, I bet they’ll be prone to drama. If we feel it’s acceptable to make fun of others, then they will feel it’s acceptable to do the same.

Are you getting where I’m going with this? We, as the adults, have choices and most of us have fully functioning minds that understand what WE do, they do. We, again as adults, do not have to be like our parents even if they were the only role models we had. We do not have to pass on the silent treatments, the swearing, the spanking, the yelling and the ‘change your attitudes’ to our children.

Trying to be my mom didn’t work for my starter marriage (see Abuse blog). But it was the eye opening experience it took for me to understand I didn’t have to be her.  I have been weaning out the old and embracing the new ever since.

As far as my daughter goes, I knew I would not spank her. To me, spanking didn’t teach me a lesson. Hurt or pain didn’t help me understand why my behavior wasn’t acceptable. What it did was cause me to fear my dad (he was usually the punisher dole’r out’r) and to keep my emotional distance from him. That fear affected me well into my late 30’s.  

If we yell and swear at our children, we are teaching them to yell and swear. In reality, yelling and swearing are both ways to try to get the other person’s attention. So why not choose a less abusive and more respectful form of communicating? Perhaps one that may yield positive and nourishing results instead of fear, dissension and anger.

I wish my parents would have utilized a different form of punishment, but the forms they used were what they knew. It was how they were raised. But I’m telling you, I want something different from myself and for my daughter.

I don’t EVER want to see fear in her eyes when she makes a mistake or has an accident or even intentionally misbehaves. I want her to know her dad and I aren’t the only role models in her life. I want her to know how to resolve her upsets without being verbally, physically or emotionally abusive. This, in part, is the legacy I want to leave behind. Then, God willing, I can watch how my daughter adapts and changes that legacy for her own brood.

I vow to sincerely try to break the cycle of abuse. I do not want to teach abuse and I do not want to be abusive. Will I succeed? I don’t know but I’m really, really trying. As the Virginia Slim cigarette slogan goes, “You’ve come a long way baby.”

 

North Star (part 1)

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I was recently reading (I know how to do that. It’s math that’s tricky for me) an article about what book changed your life. I have one of those books I’d like to share with you. Without it, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to do what I did or become the person I am.  

The book, “Finding Your Own North Star” by Martha Beck was the inspiration I needed to quit a job before I had another lined up. Not a big deal for some of you but for this girl, it simply was NOT done. I had rent to pay, groceries to buy and two parents who had ingrained in me the absolute need to get another job before quitting the current one.

I was 40 when I read this book and made the leap without a safety net. Looking back, there WAS a job waiting, I just couldn’t see it yet. It was called Inner Focus Reiki.

The following exercise is designed to evaluate your ‘essential self’ as Martha calls it. See where you are in your life by taking the following “I’m completely in HELL” exercise.  I’ll blog the “I’m SO on my correct path” exercises later.

There is so much more to this book but hopefully this experiment will help open your eyes, even if they are squeezed tightly shut.  Like I said, it was life changing for me.

1.  Energy Crisis – Try to remember three different events or type of events (i.e. dental appointments, jobs, classes, social functions, etc.) where you HAD to show up but felt reluctant and low-energy.  Circle the response that has the most negative association for you.

A.

B.

C.

2.  Sick, Sick, Sick – Try to remember three times when your health was below par.  What was going on in your life during each of these three periods? List each situation (they can be the same as in Energy Crisis) AND the physical symptoms you suffered.  Circle the worst symptom.

A.                                                        Symptom:

B.                                                        Symptom:

C.                                                        Symptom:

3.  Forgetting – Write down three types of information you find difficult to remember (example: people’s names, school schedules, important documents). Circle the type of information you forget most often.

A.

B.

C.

4. Blunders o’ Blunders – Write down three stupid mistakes you remember making.  Circle the most disastrous mistake.

A.

B.

C.

5.  Social Suicide – Name three people who bring out your very WORST social behavior (like every time you’re around this person you feel like a complete ass, you revert to being a child or you need a complete lobotomy).

A.

B.

C.

6.  Fight or Flight – List the times when you couldn’t sleep, slept poorly or slept so much you felt groggy or squalid (squalid? Uh, OK).  List the three problems in your life that cause sleep dis-order.  Circle the issue that most disrupted your sleep.

A.

B.

C.

7.  Addiction – Name ONE (yes, only one) bad habit or obsessive pattern you’ve been unable to eliminate (for me, it’s biting my nails.  Hey! I only had to pick ONE of them!).  Now remember what happened to trigger this bad habit the last three times you fell off the wagon.  For example, for me, it’s overwhelming stress that I feel I have too much on my plate and I’m not talkin’ dinner plate. Circle the trigger that is most likely to make you turn to your addictive habit.

A.

B.

C.

8.  Moody Blues – List the last three times you experienced a VERY bad mood or a mood that seemed inexplicable, unjustifiable or extreme.  Again, note what was happening in your life at the time these moods occurred.  Circle the one that brought out your worst mood.

A. 

B.

C.

You did it!!! That’s it for the questions. Now comes the ‘fun’ part which is getting your essential self (or soul) to speak to you.  Go back and review the items you’ve circled. It’s fill in the blank time, boys and girls. And this isn’t gonna be pretty.    Ready?  Take a big gulp of air………

YOUR OWN WORST CASE SCENARIO:

Imagine for a moment that you are in/at (response from #1 – lowest-energy situation) ________________________________. You are surrounded by (#5 – all THREE names on your list) ________________________________________ You’re not feeling your best, in fact, your (#2 – worst medical symptom) ______________________________ is bothering you more than ever.  You’ve been given a lifetime assignment that involves working with (#3 – most forgettable information) ________________________.

All the people in the room are authorized to watch you constantly, criticize your performance and punish you if you make any mistakes.  Speaking of mistakes, you’ve just done (#4 – stupidest mistake) ______________________________ a fact that was noted by your three supervisors.  Your life in general is pretty difficult right now; that whole thing with (#6 – sleep disturbances) ________________ is happening all over again.  You’re also trying to deal with (#7 – worst bad habit trigger) ___________________________. To top it ALL off, (#8 – bad mood situation) ___________________________ is more intense than ever.

Just when things are at their worst ________________ (#5 – the person who makes you the most uncomfortable) walks up.  He/she orders you to stand up, politely smile in a way that is both humble and worshipful and say to the entire assembly, “I admire you so much.  Thank you, THANK YOU for letting me be here.  You are such a terrific person and this is just what I deserve.  I want to live this way for the rest of my life!” 

Gaaahhhhh!!!!

How about that?!  How ABOUT that?! Feeling like kaka?!  If you can vividly imagine this horrible situation, you’re experiencing your own blend of anger, despair, illness, etc. It doesn’t feel good, does it?

Are your eyes opening? Are you learning anything about what you essentially need?  This book clearly states no one is supposed to EVER feel this way.  EVER!!!  And yet we do, don’t we America?

Think about this scenario for a while or until you throw up, whichever comes first.  I’ll work on Part 2 (it’s much better, I promise) and you’ll see (pun intended) where I’m going.

Forgiveness

Yes, it’s happened again. Just like “Agnostic,” the word “Forgiveness” has been showing up in my life recently. I’ve been hearing it for clients; I see random articles in magazines and just today, something on Facebook. Sigh. I get it. The Guys are gently giving me a message that they feel needs to be addressed.  I know what I need to do.

It wasn’t long ago I was asked by the Powers that Be (aka My Guys/Guardian Angels) to create a channeled meditation on Forgiveness. They wanted us to have a view from their World. The meditation, along with the entire channeled meditation series, was powerful and life changing. Hey, if The Guys are going to come forward and speak about a topic, it’s for the benefit of many.

In the Forgiveness meditation, the Guys start out by saying, “…. Peace starts at home. Forgiveness is the key. We do not harbor hate, anger or even aggression. We harbor love, fulfillment and grace. We embody anger management, wisdom and euphoria.  We do not waste our time on the tiniest of infractions. We do not even give them any more than a glance, a mere glimpse, for to do so would detract from Other’s beauty, therefore detracting from Ours.”

They ask, “If you hate, how do you expect kindness? If you are jealous, how do you expect freedom? If you do not love, how do you expect to be loved?” They go on to tell us the Art of Forgiveness begins within our own heart. They say it was not designed to harbor such animosities or travesties. They say it was built to love and to aid and to be compassionate.

Ahhh…the heart.  Yes, yes.  Each and every time I’m told a client needs to forgive, it’s when I’m working over their heart area. Our heart was not designed to harbor resentment and yet millions of us continue to do so, even if it means literally killing ourselves.

According to an article in Real Simple, scientists agree that holding a serious grudge has a toxic effect on your body. What’s a ‘serious grudge’? Well, according to this article it’s defined as, “repeatedly thinking about an injustice you’ve suffered through a lens of vengeance, hostility, bitterness, resentment, anger, sadness or all of the above.”

Anger poisonSo let’s talk about the physical consequences of keeping such resentment locked inside your ‘heart.’ How about raising your blood pressure? Yep. How about raising your risk of stroke and heart attacks? Again, yes. Those were kind of easy. I mean, if you keep toxins locked inside your ‘heart’, you’re bound to suffer dis-eases of the heart. Leduh. Smarter than a fifth grader.

But did you know you also put yourself at risk of impairing your immune system? Or that your body constantly feels under attack and releases hormones that literally create inflammation? You may be thinking that inflammation is no biggy, but let me educate you. Inflammation is a known cause of arthritis, autoimmune disorders, obesity, fibromyalgia, diabetes, cancer, heart attacks, etc. It really IS a biggy.

What’s more, holding on to deep resentment also appears to aggravate depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorders. I’ve just got to ask: Is it worth it? Is it worth being so gawl dang resentful of someone that you literally work yourself into an early grave?

So how do we deal with this overwhelming resentment? Well, a satisfying revenge is one way. We are actually programmed to want to do this. Back in the day, if we exacted revenge on someone, we were ensuring they wouldn’t be able to be naughty again. Revenge is a natural way of protecting ourselves, but it’s not one that I endorse.

The Guys give another option. They ask that you take a look at a powerful memory. They ask you to really examine it. Does it still cause you pain? If so, then mentally step back a little bit until you’re more comfortable viewing it.  Does stepping back allow you to feel calmer, lighter, better? If not, continue to take steps back until you move so far away from the memory that it no longer holds any power over you. For each of you, this paragraph will mean something different.

forgive yourselfThey state we may feel like we’ll never be free of this harsh and hurtful memory but They assure us we will, IF WE CHOOSE. Uh huh…We don’t have to live with the pain, we can choose to be free of it. That’s not saying we’ll forget, it’s just saying we’ll forgive.

How will you know when forgiveness has begun? Well, according to one article contributor, she say’s, “You will know when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”  I agree wholeHEARTEDLY (Oh man! I slid that right in there! Did you see how I did that?! How perfect was that?!!).

To evolve and grow, one must let go of pain. It simply does not exist where we are ultimately headed. If you choose to continue nurturing the pain, there’s a good chance you’ll get ‘there’ quicker than those of us who have allowed forgiveness to reside within our hearts.

Impatience

Man, I don’t know what’s going on lately, but I have reverted back to being over-the-top impatient. I’m not impatient on everything, just stuff that I think should have happened by now. Here’s why I think impatience happens; I think we become impatient because we’ve glimpsed something we desire very much but it has yet to manifest on the earthly plane. It’s as if we can remember everything about it (whatever ‘it’ is for you) and all of the emotions associated with it, but we don’t physically see it. And this is something we really, really pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top WANT!

I put impatience behind me back in the early 2000’s.  I mean, I’m the one, if you’ll remember, that had to wait like FOREVER for the stars to align so I could bring our daughter into this world (and that’s just one example). You can read (re-read?) my blog on “Control” if you need a refresher. I don’t like being impatient. Nothing good comes from it. So why now? What’s going on?

I had a client the other day who said, “If it can go wrong, it will. The last couple of months my world has gone to shit. I feel overwhelmed, frustrated and very chaotic.” Now this is a woman who is very glass half full, full of life and optimistic. To hear her say this (and have her thoughts intuitively validated while she was in session), well, that got me thinking. This is kind of what my life, and my husbands, has felt like for the last couple of months. I’m hearing similar stories from other clients, too. Hummm. Putting one and one together here (no small feat as I abhor math!).

This stuff from the last couple of months has GOT to be energetic. It’s just happening to too many of us. It’s frustrating, especially when impatience just isn’t who I am anymore.

Oh HO ladies and gentlemen! Surprise!! It seems this blog is to have a guest appearance. I’m being asked by my Guys to channel some information directly to the masses. Oh man. I didn’t see that coming when I started this blog. Well, who’s up for some words straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak?  Here you go. Public, meet my Guys. Guys…oh never mind. You already know the public. Hey! For the cool factor, see if you can ‘feel’ how the energy is different from my writing style to Theirs.

“Little Ones. We do not wish to cause you harm or timidity.  (Melissa’s note: The Guys like to use bigger words than I can get my Norwegian/German/Mutt brain around.)  We are expressing great sorrow at how this latest miscalculation on our part is affecting your sweet souls. We were not given a rule book as some may think. We are making this up, or as you humans say, ‘Flying by the seat of our pants’ as we go. We have skill doing this so do not dismay. You are all in safe hands (if we had hands).  (Melissa’s Note: They usually do not joke, so I must have tapped into a little bit of their funny bone.)

You ask, Dear One, on behalf of those you tirelessly aid, “How much MORE!?” Will you be angry with us if we use the old saying, “Two weeks”? (Melissa’s Note: GRRRRR!  Yes!  Angry! Stupid ‘two weeks.’ I know all about those two little words! It means that this part of the energetic shift will be over in two weeks BUT that doesn’t mean things will get better. OOOOH NOOOO! It means a new energetic phase – for better or worse – will begin.  ‘Two weeks’ is also a loving joke between the Guys and me due to my, uh, constant questioning in my younger years). We love that you get our joke, Little One. You are such a delight. (Melissa’s Note: Guys, puhleease! I’m blushing here! Ok, I’m really not.)

We will continue, if only briefly, for we have the masses to attend to. You ask, in earnest, when this portion will be finished. We tell you we truly do not know. There seems to be some clearing, if you will, in a few short weeks, possibly around the end of your month of March. We see that your calendar date of April first will usher in new, fresh energy once again. You can look for the stars to align and the grass to grow and all to fall into perfect rhythm once again. We will not disappoint, in fact, we will dazzle. (Melissa’s Note: I’m being shown a night sky with shooting stars. Meteor shower, maybe?)

We will leave you now but are thoroughly glad you allowed us in, Little One. Be patient and you will see the wisdom of our words.  All will return with the onset of the spring rains. There will be a ‘rebirth’ of sorts.  All that is old and outdated will fall in the gutter. But do not dismay, these old thoughts or feelings will be replaced with shiny new ones. Ones that all of you will polish and keep clean and treasure unlike anything you have treasured before. It is our gift to you. Watch and see how it transpires in your life. We are most anxious to see you smile and for you to raise your heads to Heaven in joy and wonderment. For far too long your heads have been bent toward the earth. Be well. All is well. Be at peace for that is what you shall have. Peace. Wonderment. Joy. We promise this.”

Ok……uhhh…”we PROMISE this” is not Their usual wording especially when this blog has the potential to reach hundreds, if not thousands of people. So, will hundreds or thousands of people find peace, wonderment and joy? I don’t know, but They said it and I trust Them explicitly.

Career

There were two professions I wanted to be when I grew up. The first was a nurse.  Well, the nurse idea bit the bullet long before it was a full-fledged glimmer in my eye. I thought I wanted to be a Candy Striper at a local hospital. You know, deliver some flowers, get an extra blanket and fluff a pillow. I was allll excited to do this UNTIL the person who was training me told me there was a morgue in the hospital. Whaaa? A morgue IN the hospital? Cue the heebie jeebies for this little 16 year old. I could feel my face whiten and something akin to panic start in my stomach. I had a severe case of ‘flight, fight or freeze.’  I took flight. I couldn’t burn out of that hospital fast enough.

I don’t know why I was so traumatized by the thought that there were bodies in a hospital. I mean, did I think everyone got better? Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know why I had such a major reaction to that little tidbit of news. I DO know it took me months to return my Candy Striper uniform.  😉 I was just that freaked out. That effectively ended my thoughts of being a nurse.

The other profession was an actor (back then women were called ‘actresses’ and men were ‘actors’). Now that one DID take flight. I loved being on stage and acting. I loved it. I had a real affinity for it. I performed in plays throughout my high school years and then musicals after I graduated.  Yes, I said ‘musicals’ and yes, I sang. In public. Without the aid of a shower. To lots and lots of people. Me. Singer. Once upon a time.

While I was in high school, my DECA teacher told me he set up an interview for a part-time teller position at a local bank. Ok. Coolio.  Up until then my main source of income was as the “World’s Richest Babysitter” as one family lovingly called me and working in the camera section of White Drug. Banking? Why not?

Little did I know that interview would be the start of my 21-year career. I moved from being a teller to the Consumer Lending side. There I processed loans but I really, REALLY wanted to be a loan officer. Not much later I became a Direct Consumer Lending Underwriter. It was better than a Loan Officer (in my eyes) as I didn’t have to deal with customers. I dealt with branch personnel who dealt with customers. I loved, LOVED that job. But, as you fellow bankers know, time marches on in the acquisition world of banking and my beloved bank was taken over by another.

I moved on to a few different positions until my final position as an Internal Auditor for the ND branch offices.   I tell ya, I have an eye for detail and I was goooooood at picking up on what people wanted to hide. I didn’t even know I was an intuitive back then.

Long story short, I was quite happy in banking. I didn’t have a college degree as I opted to go full-time right out of high school. I was being promoted regularly so I must have been doing something right.  My dad finally quit saying, “You should go to college” after I received my fourth or fifth promotion. That was a relief because college never did hold any appeal to me. I completely get where my dad was coming from. He knew how important a college degree would be even back in the early 80’s.

Fast forward to 2001. My banking career is over. I was burned out and didn’t want to go back into banking. I just felt restless, like there was something else for me. I received a great severance payment so I was comfortable taking some time off to heal from the loss of my marriage, job and career.   I worked at what I called, ‘fun networking’ jobs but, as usual, I was bored rather quickly.  Interesting fact about me, once I figure things out I am bored by the repetition of it all.

I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. Can you imagine? At age 17 I was in what would become my career. I didn’t job hop. I stayed with the same bank. So what to do for the old benjamins. What to do…..

Oh gee. I think I’ll open up a business that is based on energy work. And, oh yeah, I’m going to incorporate intuitive messages with this energy work. Yep, that goes over really well in a conservative, conventional, meat and potatoes kind of life.

But I did it. My mom was gone by then and I was scared to tell my dad. Bless his beautiful heart, he said, “Well, I guess that’s alright. Will you be able to support yourself?”   I smile at this memory as my dad is gone now too, and I totally understand what he was and wasn’t saying.

Sometimes life takes turns that you wouldn’t even dare think about. If someone had told me I’d be finished with my banking career at age 38, I wouldn’t have believed them. But look how beautifully this was all orchestrated. Can you imagine all the events or things that had to go into making this happen? I left a very comfortable, acceptable, sound career and started one that is very esoteric, un-logical and incredibly rewarding.

While I may not be in the acting profession, I’m very comfortable delivering the channeled messages, being in front of a crowd or in the spotlight. I may not be a nurse, but I am helping to heal people. Doing my Work fulfills both my childhood aspirations. Interesting how it all worked out, huh?

Ain’t life grand?