Mahalum

She’s been coming to see, off and on, for years. She is an artist, a painter, a writer, a photographer. She earns her living by marketing for a local non-profit. Our Intuitive Reiki sessions are often filled with whimsical colors that she often incorporates into her art.

I love our sessions; she is never demanding and always respectful. She is understanding of my limits and accepts that I don’t have all the answers. She recognizes the worth of Reiki and she delights in my “humanness.”  Our sessions have been nothing short of reverent.

She is, thankfully, the poster child for the norm in my Intuitive Reiki business. I’m writing about her, specifically, because of something that caused my jaw to drop to the floor. I could be writing about any of my clients as I’ve had these moments before. But this one? This one left me shaken in a crikey, Scoob! kind of way.

When she entered my office she said she felt like a bird in a cage. She wanted some direction as to what she should do next. As she was telling me this I heard the word, “book” so when she finished I told her just that. Her hazel eyes misted over, she smiled and her hand went to her upper chest. She said she SO wants to write a book. I tilted my head and smiled a little “well, there you go” smile.

Our session began like any other. As is often the case, the Guys love to pepper her sessions with some inanity. They recently told her not to walk away from an impulse buy or she would regret it. They tell her she’s taking life to seriously; she needs more laughter. They tell her to urge her daughter to reconsider how she’s wearing her hair in her wedding. Yes, seriously.

I chuckle at this stuff, but it’s no secret my angels deal with the spiritual so each one of these seemingly trivial things is designed for my client to grow/heal spiritually. My client gets that and doesn’t dismiss these lighter toned messages.

The energy changed to all business when I quit channeling and began delivering pure Reiki to the top of her head. I heard that this session wasn’t going to be as relaxing as her previous sessions; it would be more intense. I relayed this information to her and as is her usual, she accepted it with grace.

It’s not often anymore that I’m led to telepathically infuse the Reiki symbols during a session but this time I was. Sort of. I began with the first two symbols you learn in Reiki II and then I heard, “Mahalum.”  Whaaa? That’s not a Reiki symbol. What is THAT? Mahalo? Mahalum? I shrugged my shoulders, mentally cleared my mind and tried again. I repeated the two accepted healing symbols and when it was time for me intone the sequential third, I once again heard, “Mahalum.”

Well, what the WHAT?! Mahalum? What IS that? I had no idea but went with it. As is the standard, I repeated the name of the two symbols again and then “Mahalum” was again inserted.  I thought it was just so odd as you don’t muck with the Reiki symbols. Ever. I have great respect for these symbols as they are powerful little things. To just throw a “Mahalum” in there floored me.

After her session ended, I looked up Mahalum in my trusty 1986 dictionary. Hummm… Mahalum. Nope, nothing and that’s normally where I’d leave it. But something was “encouraging” me to look further. I typed, “Mahalum” into my search engine and nothing came up in the drop down box.

I left it at that and talked some more with my client but it was still bugging me. My client said it would come up for her somewhere in some unexpected way. She was fine with that but I picked up my phone again and entered, “Mahalum” and this time I pressed the magnifying glass (search) button and don’t you know, low and behold, there was information on this word. It was in Hindi so I had it translated to English and my eyes, which have spiritually seen so much, become as large as the eyes of an owl.

My jaw hit the floor. I looked at her and then back to the google search results. I read the answer again and then I looked up at her slightly shaking my head in disbelief. I managed to stammer a very unprofessional, “Holy SHIT! You are NOT going to believe this!” before my mouth fell open again. I was having so much trouble coming to grips with what I was reading.

While I was getting my freak out on, she calmly sat leaning forward in her chair and didn’t say a word. She knew I’d get there eventually and no worry crossed her face. She patiently gazed at me as she had a hundred times.

I stammered again, “You, uhhh, you are NOT going to believe this. Ok. Ok” as if I was talking myself into doing something. Yes, that was how astounded I was at what I was reading and how deeply my intuitive abilities sometimes flat out flabbergast me. I looked at her, took a deep breath and said, “Mahalum is Hindi for “to write.”

book

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Protector

I recently had the privilege of meeting a young lady whose sole/soul purpose is to protect. To be clear, she is a Protector. I capitalize that word as that is her title; it is who she is and what she does.

She doesn’t come from Earth. Outwardly, she looks and acts like a normal human. She is pretty but doesn’t see it. She thinks she needs to lose weight. She doesn’t like being noticed and dresses in clothes that hide her. It’s easy for her to forget she is a woman.

She is on constant alert. She doesn’t sleep well. She thinks about all the things that could go wrong. She plans. She keeps her mind active by creating scenarios of actions to be taken in the event something does go wrong. She is a wife. She is a mother.

During her session, I was afforded a nano second of a past life glimpse. She, then a man, was a Pharaoh’s guard and while he sat on the throne, her position was directly to his right. She was a highly trained adversary and her existence was dedicated to protecting and serving her king. Nothing else mattered.

She carries all of those honed instincts within her DNA today. She comes from a place where trusting in others will get you killed, or worse, cause the death of the one you swore to protect. She does not fully trust in this lifetime; not even her husband. The only one she completely trusts is herself.

She has never felt like she has fit in and because of her trust issues, she hides a lot of memories/emotions/feelings from others, including her mate.  Normally, when I see/hear this, the Guys are encouraging my clients to open their hearts. After all, you can’t receive complete love (from others, yourself and God) if you do not give it. But for her, they were silent.

She was told to eat “exotic and spicy” food as she is bored by “everyday food” and it doesn’t nourish her.  Their meaning wasn’t clear. It could physically mean she needs to branch out beyond (yawn) hamburgers and hot dogs OR it could spiritually mean she needs to find new and intriguing energetic foods to sustain her.

The Guys talk about her two children and the energy surrounding this topic instantly changes to all business. It sharpens and becomes tense as if it is on high alert. There is something almost animalistic about it. This Protector momma will leave no stone unturned to ensure the safety of her children. Now, don’t confuse what I’ve written by thinking she is a “momma badger” or a “helicopter mom” as she is neither. She is unconcerned about skinned knees, petty fights or bruised egos; she is concerned with their protection; their primal existence. They are her “charges.”

She can’t turn this off; this is who she IS. She came back to this world, this Earth, for a reason, a purpose. She is a Protector and has had to make many sacrifices due to this. She feels alone and lonely as she hasn’t found anyone else of her kind. What must it be like to not fully trust anyone but yourself or another Protector?

She feels different from other moms too, like an outsider. She is, as it was explained to me, like an advanced Being who has returned to life in the cave man era. She is highly telepathic and used to communicating in that mode but now she must use an archaic and slow form of communication called talking. To her, this way of communicating is outdated and clumsy.

She isn’t very social. She really doesn’t like people and she prefers to keep to herself. The reason for this is a bigger crowd means more threats. More threats mean more vigilance. More vigilance means more chances of something going wrong. More chances of something going wrong means more Plan B options.

Because her body is in a constant state of high-alert stress, her cortisol levels are chronically elevated and she suffers from cold after cold after cold.  Starting a new form of exercise induces fear because there are so many variables.

She is so very intriguing to me as I’ve not experienced anything like her.  Yes, I have given Reiki to amazing Aliens who just want to help mankind, but not Protectors. I have not had this fierce, gung ho warrior, “I’m-willing-to-die-for-my-charges” energy before.

Transformers 1She is Hollywood’s version of a Transformer. In fact, the name that was whispered to me was, “Magnatron.”   She is a woman, a human woman, but she can transform into a powerful, bad-assed weapon if needed.

Protectors; I see you. I can’t begin to understand the sacrifices you unquestioningly make but I can understand your drive to do so. It’s what you know. It’s who you are. I am in awe of your raw devotion and unwavering watchfulness.  Thank you.  Thank you for coming back to a place that is light years behind you. Thank you for walking among us and keeping your “charges” inexplicably safe.

And to my new client: Thank you for showing me, wowing me really, with another facet of what often remains unseen.

Channeled Message 3.4.15

“So many of you have recently asked, “What the hell is wrong with everyone?” and we will take a moment to answer.  They are caught up in something that is not of their doing. They are in a vortex, if you will. A whirl wind. They feel tossed about and battered. Up is down and down is up. Black is white and white is black. Nothing is working for them anymore and yet, bless their hearts, they keep trying to make the old work.

Here is the crux of what we wish to discuss; the OLD does not exist anymore; it has vanished. Poof! Gone like the wind that blows in your region. It. Does. Not. Exist. Any. More.  So can you imagine the frustration, angst and anxiety of those who are still trying (and trying and trying) to utilize the old way of doing things?  The buttons are not there, the levers have disappeared and yet they still blindly grope and grapple for them.

We have urged several of you to let go of the old ways and yet you fiercely maintained your attachment to them. We ask; how is that working for you?  Good?  No, we think not. You feel lost, like you woke up in an entirely new world and you do not have your bearings yet.  You feel anxiety and restlessness. You feel desolation and hopelessness. You feel fear. You feel anger (Melissa’s Note: Oh MAN, do we feel anger!).

We hear you. More importantly, we see you. We see each and every one of you down on Earth trying to Become. We see your struggles and your pitfalls and your breaks. We hear you saying, “What the HELL is going ON!?!” and with this One’s help, we will tell you.

The Earth has shifted on its axis once again. We don’t mean literally, we mean figuratively. There is new energy coming in once again.  As is the case for several millennia, when there is new, the old does not want to leave.  And you humans make this so easy for the Old. You cling to old values, ideas, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and ways.

You cling to old habits, even though you have long outgrown them.  The childish tantrums, the unbridled rage, the “poor me” mentality, those are all of the Old. These need to go on their way. They need to be let loose; freed.  They do not and will not serve you any longer.

What will? Being open. Staying open.  New ideas, new values, new ethics, new tenants, and a new you. That will serve you best.

This One is asking us for black and white concepts. We will do so now. If you look before you leap, maybe it is time to leap before you look.  If you use harsh words in anger, maybe it is time to soften your tongue. If you are filled will fear, maybe it is time to find courage.

How do you know if we are talking to you? Simple. Have you been moody? Angry? Resentful? Chaotic? Have you experienced despair, loneliness and anxiety? Have you hurt those you love? Have you cast stones upon yourself? If so, then perhaps we ARE talking to you.  We smile at this because there is not one of you reading this, including our faithful servant (Melissa), that won’t benefit. Not one of you. Pretty enormous, right? That is how large the scope of this shift is.

We offer you this; be kind when you want to rage. Be thankful when you want to cast spite. Be humble. Be loyal. Be gentle.  Be loving. It sounds simple, but for several of you, this is not working.

We will leave you now knowing you are infinitely safe and protected. Be aware of your choices and know that YOU are in the driver’s seat.  We are merely passengers and as such, we are powerless to control the wheel, the speed or the direction you travel. Do not blame us if you are miserable; we have given you ample opportunity to prevail. You must do the work; we cannot.”   (Melissa’s Note: Gah gong.)

Slow

My starter husband and I, we took it slow.  In fact, I didn’t like him when we first met. The truth be told, I didn’t like ANY of the men I fell in love with.  Yes, really.

My starter husband and I met at work and I was very, um, territorial. He was the golden boy who moved to Fargo from a small Minnesota city. I didn’t want to know anything about him, I didn’t want to socialize with (the enemy) him and I certainly didn’t want a friendship with him.

I tried really hard to dislike him. I think he even saw through me and asked me about it once. But, as much as I tried to be cold and distant, I begrudgingly started to respect him not only for his work expertise but because he was so humble, respectful, soft spoken and kind. The friendship that grew from that surprised me.

Once I decided the new kid was alright, he and I were often among the last of the work gang to leave the bars. We would end the night talking and then go our separate ways. I wasn’t attracted to him in the least little bit; that came much later.

Then, somewhere along the line, that all changed. After a night of drinking, I spent the night at his place. We slept (passed out?) on the floor and he didn’t touch me. He was incredibly respectful even though we’d both had enough to drink to blame whatever happened on the booze.

It was the next morning we decided we liked each other in a way that was more than just friendship. We both agreed we’d like to see where this took us. But ‘this’ was going to be a major problem. A relationship with him was now taboo as he had just been promoted to the position I wanted. He was now my boss.

The rest of that story is in previous blogs or will be saved for another day. I want to stay on task here, or at least look like I’m trying.

After the death of my starter marriage, I begged God to send me someone who was compassionate and kind and would treat me the way I deserved to be treated. My needs? Simple. I wanted to be treated like a princess. And, I must say, God delivered even if it was in the most unlikely of packages.

My golf course recently hired a new golf professional/manager.  He was 6’ 5”, gangly and had faded red hair. I wasn’t attracted to him, either. But gawl dang it! He had the gift of gab and the patience of Job. He was kind, gracious and courteous and had a way of making me feel like the whole world revolved around me.

Weeks went by and I watched his interactions with the staff and with the patrons. He was quirky and liked to talk. I became interested. Days later, after I had rediscovered the lost art of flirting and acting like a 16 year old, I needed to call for a ride home (it was really a ploy! Ohh, harlet!) so I asked for the phone book. He said he’d give me a ride home. Bingo!

It eludes me as to why he spent the night. I think it was because he needed to be back at the course by 6 and it was already 3:30.  He, too, was a complete gentleman and slept on the couch. I slept in my bed with the door shut.

The next morning, on the ride to get my car, he held my hand. I knew then that I wanted to know more about him and I knew then he wanted to know more about me. I was starting to see his inner beauty and I was starting to find him interesting and attractive.

He treated me with kindness. He showed me, again and again through words and actions, the respectful way a woman should be treated.  He reminded me – and gave me hope – that there were men out there who would treat me the way I wanted (and deserved) to be treated.

Then along came my forever husband. Trinity was like a Mack truck compared to the other two. He was aggressive, direct, confident, engaging and flirty. He was, in my opinion, a player and someone not to get involved with.  I wasn’t the least bit attracted to him. Heard that before? Well, here we go again; same song, different verse.

He set the pace for our relationship and that pace was slow. Snail’s pace slow. Excruciatingly slow. This was not his normal as he was used to moving fast (think corvette fast). But for me? He wanted something different.

We didn’t start “playing house” right away. We didn’t talk for hours and hours each night on the phone; we didn’t see each other every spare moment. We didn’t call each other several times a day (this was before texting became so popular) and we didn’t overshare within minutes of meeting each other.  We took the time to get to know each other. As our friendship grew, my interest in him, and the attraction, began.

It’s not lost on me that three of my greatest loves were unlikely matches. For pity sake, I didn’t like these people nor was I attracted to them.  But in spite of that – or maybe because of that – these relationships took root, grew and blossomed.

Some of the most beautiful flowers manage to grow in the harshest environments.

Want to read more blogs about Trinity’s and my life?  Here you go:

Fate – Fate II – Communication – Vasectomy – Miracle

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I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like big changes. I like changing my hair color and nail polish and even mixing up my gym classes, but big changes? Nope.  The type of changes I’m talking about are the ones that involve letting go of something that feels as comfortable as a fuzzy blanket on a cold day. I’m talking about something that is or has been a large part of you for any given length of time.

To me, big changes are scary. It feels like an upheaval or even a burden. It’s the unknown that gets me, you know? I know what I have now, and it works, but I don’t know what a change will bring. This is a difficult concept for a recovering control-a-holic.

I had a client yesterday who, when the ‘out with the old, in with the new’ channeled message came through for her, said she didn’t like change all that much either. However, we both agreed that almost every time we’ve decided to embrace the big stuff, we’ve looked back and said, ‘what took me so long?!’ 

I’m a gal who didn’t get on the texting bandwagon until three years ago. All my friends had it, including my husband, but I didn’t want it. I was happy with my little un-smart cell phone. It did all I needed it to do; answer and send calls.  It took me YEARS to get a cell phone (remember, Michele and Charmaine?!), then when I did I glommed on to it like it was my first born.

My husband kept insisting I upgrade and I insisted he stuff it. Then came a point where I thought it would be kind of cool to have a camera on my phone. I upgraded to another un-smart phone and it was the cat’s meYOOwww (it doesn’t take much to please me, evidently). I also started texting but I had a lot of fear surrounding that. I didn’t want to be available 24/7/365. I didn’t want to be that plugged in or connected. Texting felt like an intrusion and it also felt really foreign (when has something new/different NOT felt foreign?!).

I stumbled through feelings of ineptness while using the old ‘hunt and peck’ typing method. But I learned and I learned quickly. I actually found myself (gasp!) LIKING texting.  Pishaw!  I had resisted it for SO long and now I can’t live without it.

That’s just one story. I could go on and on about how I like to resist change. Oy!

As of Monday, the Guys are saying the old way is out. If you try to do things the old way, you are going to be met with resistance (translation: a brick wall).  But, I LIKE the old way! It’s comfortable and it was working well for me up until this latest energy shift. Bawaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

This shift has left me feeling overwhelmed and at times, debilitated. It’s been difficult for me to practice what I know.  When you’re feeling like you’re in an abyss, it’s really difficult to remember what you’re supposed to do to get back to the mountain top or even a North Dakota hill. Luckily, for me, Reiki is my saving grace. When I do my Work, I am able to get ‘clear’ and once again see things (and hear things) from a higher perspective.

My Monday clients helped with that as it was during both their sessions I heard you just can’t continue doing things the old way and expect them to work in the new energy.

But, I don’t know HOW to do things the new way, I only know the old. I haven’t learned or been educated in the new way. The dreaded familiar sense of feeling unsupported wafted over me like the smell of limburger cheese on a hot radiator.

So I said (whined), “I’m so frustrated and I feel completely unsupported. Why is everything (drama!) feeling so difficult? Are you telling me I should get out of Reiki?! Do you WANT me to continue doing my Work?! Give a girl some help here, brothahhhhhs!”

As soon as I was done with that highly unrealistic rant (there really are so many wonderful, supported things happening with my Work), I heard, “Use social media. Send out your requests to the masses. Let them help.”  Uh…. (head scratch)…..oooooooohhhh (blink).

Ok. I’ll step out of my comfort zone and try something new with my blog readers. I’d like to find a way for my blogs to reach more people. Are there any magazine/newspaper/on-line publication (etc.) personnel who can help me with this??

Well, that didn’t feel as needy as I thought it would. Huh. I have other requests as well, but I’m feeling to vulnerable to address them right now.

Hey! Epiphany alert! A thought just occurred to me on change. Every change is triggered by a need or desire for something different and in most cases, something better. Right? So once there is a want, energy is given to that need/desire by thinking about it. Then it’s brought into reality by physically taking action to make the change happen.  

Huh. Were you aware of that? It makes sense and it kind of eases the fear of big change for me. But only just a little.

Fate (part II)

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Susie, whom I often call my aloe vera plant, calmed me down and helped me see things with spiritual eyes. She reassured me that I’d be ok and that I didn’t want Trinity as he was. She said he wouldn’t and couldn’t be the man I needed him to be and he wouldn’t be the man he wanted to be if he didn’t tie up some loose ends.  She went on to say this was really a good thing as it looked like Trinity was trying to heal some old wounds. She also said she admired Trinity for tackling this and working through it. She felt Trinity might have been scared by his feelings for me and he was trying to outrun them. Yeah, I get that.

Those words, the choice of words, calmed me.  Remember my ‘Beauty’ blog about seeing things with spiritual eyes? This was the start of me learning how to do just that.

Susie called me several times a day for over a week. She’s the best mother hen to have in your corner when you are in the fetal position and don’t understand a dang thing about anything. She calmed me, time and time again, with her spiritual and reassuring maternal voice. I think back to the kindness she showed me when I was so helpless and it brings tears to my eyes.

She kept telling me Trinity and I had unfinished business. Her spiritual words resonated with me and I think Trinity had felt it too as he had kept repeating, “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know if this is right” when he was dumping me. I held tight to both of their words.

Both my nieces were ready to kill Trinity. They had very harsh words to say about him and I had to tell them it wasn’t helpful, nor did I want to hear it. I told them it was OK for Trinity to try and finish loose ends and he was doing what he felt was right. He hadn’t kept me hanging on and he hadn’t been unfaithful. He was doing what he needed to do in order to better himself. To hear him, the man I loved, belittled and called names did not sit well with me. I get it though, someone hurts someone you love, all you can think to do is trash talk them but it’s not helpful. At least it wasn’t for me.

What Susie did for me spiritually, Charmaine did for me emotionally and physically. She took me under her wing and kept me very busy on weekends. We would have great talks, long walks and even though I was adamant Trinity would return to me, she gently encouraged me to keep my options open.

While I was trying to heal, I would hear snippets of what Trinity was doing. Through the grapevine I was told he left me for the ex-girlfriend who had called him the night I was painting. Now, if that doesn’t drive a knife right through a woman’s heart, I don’t know what would. Interestingly enough, he later told me she wasn’t interested in a relationship. Karma, baby. Karma.

Then I heard he had sold his West Fargo home and moved to Mankato to be with a gal. That almost wrecked me. I kept wondering when he was going to come back to me and it felt like I was being silly holding on to that dream. Plus, I was angry that he seemed to be over me so quickly when I was sure he knew I was his One.

Then the Universe stepped in. I started seeing the number “3” everywhere. I’d hear songs on the radio and I knew they were messages from my Guys.  I even had a few random encounters where I would see Trinity but he didn’t see me. Once he was riding his motorcycle and I passed him. When I recognized him, I had to pull over as my leg was shaking so badly I couldn’t press the gas pedal. Who’s with me on that?! Hum on!

After that, I had a complete crying breakdown. I said, “What is he doing?! I can’t wait much longer, God. I am SO lonely. I’ve learned what I needed to learn. What is he DOING?! WHY hasn’t he called?!” Then to the astral version of Trinity I said, “Hurry up and learn what you need to learn, Trinity. Hurry up!”

News reached me that Trinity was no longer with the Mankato gal and he had moved back to Fargo. (Come ON, Trinity…HURRY UP!!!) It was also about that time Charmaine mentioned ideas as to how I could meet men. What she was suggesting, while considered the norm these days, held no interest for me. I didn’t want to do on-line dating or go on blind dates. It just didn’t feel right and in truth, it didn’t feel necessary.

Finally, one evening during Grey’s Anatomy (back when Grey’s was goooooood), my phone rang. I answered and heard, “Hello, Melissa.” Without waiting for him to identify himself I said, “Hello Trinity” and he replied, “Can we talk?”

As a smile split my face, my eyes looked toward the ceiling and a huge wave of gratitude and relief rolled through me. Tears formed in my eyes and I mouthed a silent, ‘Thank you, THANK YOU!!’ to God. To Trinity I giggled and said, “Sure! What TOOK you so long?!”

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“Why did this happen?” or “Why isn’t this happening?!” When I’m asked these type of questions, they are always referring to things of a physical nature. When these types of questions are posed, I often don’t hear an answer from the Guys. Now, if I was asked, “What am I supposed to learn from this, spiritually?” or “Have I learned what I needed to learn?” You will most often get an answer.

You see, us humans are used to looking at things in a physical way. We don’t often use our spiritual eyes to see why something may or may not have happened.  The Guys aren’t typically concerned with the physical as their ‘job’ is to help you with your spiritual growth. Most of the time they are not interested in discussing why something did or didn’t happen on the physical plane because what happened on the spiritual realm trumps it. 

I try not to use my intuitive gifts unless I’m asked to do so, but sometimes these gifts are so much a part of me that it happens without me even knowing it. Sometimes they are so intrinsically woven into the fabric of who I am, I can’t tell what my thoughts are from those that are divinely inspired.

A case in point is this: I was talking with my oldest niece (and closest twin-in-a-past-life bestie). She’s dealing with the death of a two year relationship. She’s trying to heal from the heartache, the loss of a dream and the betrayal she uncovered.  While she is viewing things on the physical plane, I am able to give her a spiritual glimpse of why the physical outcome, although painful now, may have just safe guarded the life she desires.

She lives in a very small town and sees her ex beau and his (pregnant) fiancé often. I was thinking of how raw this would be for her until she heals. Then I had these thoughts:

1.    What if she was saved from a life of hurt, resentment and disgust because she refused to (this time) compromise her values and desires?

2.    What if, by holding tight to what she felt she needed in order for her to be truly happy, she ‘opted out’ of a relationship that would be filled with mistrust, unhappiness and control?

3.    What if, by doing this, she is telling the Universe that she’s a force to be reckoned with and she will not lower her standards. She will wait for The One who will inspire, fully commit and love/respect her as she has come to love/respect herself?

Interesting, huh? So now let’s look at what might have been if she had compromised her values.

1.    She may have married a man who would not have been faithful to her and could not give her what she needed.

2.    She may have found she didn’t feel loved, heard, appreciated or respected.

3.    She would have been largely responsible for taking care of his 4 rebellious children.

4.    She would have, once again, repeated the sins of her past and would have set herself up to learn a much harder lesson next time.

And as far as the new fiancé goes, maybe one of her needs in this lifetime is to deal with such issues so she can overcome and be done with them. I truly don’t know as I’m not doing this intuitively. I’m just saying for every person there are lessons to be learned in order to spiritually grow, heal and move forward.

Now that’s the stuff my Guys choose to talk about to those who will listen (not everyone does) and that’s the kind of spin or enlightenment I can bring to the table with their help. Quite different from the physical view and it feels energetically lighter, wouldn’t you agree?

There are so many things that are hidden from our physical view and I’m thankful for that. We humans can’t possibly understand why things happen or don’t happen. But, true fact, when we open our spiritual eyes and close our physical ones, a shift in perception occurs.

Beauty

When I do my Work (Intuitive Reiki), I constantly see the internal and energetic beauty of my clients. I see how kind, caring, trustworthy, loyal, trusting and forgiving they are. I don’t see them as they physically view themselves which may involve seeing a body that’s too fat, a nose that’s too big or even thighs that are too ‘dimpled.’

I once had a client sincerely ask, “I have this scar. Do you think someone could love me in spite of that?”  She was really concerned this scar would be viewed as a negative even though it was less than an inch long and on her arm.

When we view ourselves as less than (or uglier than), it literally creates a ripe breeding ground for self-abuse, self-worth and self-esteem issues to thrive. I would say 9 out of 10 of my female clients currently or have been abusive towards themselves. They may say things like, “I hate my body because I’m so fat” or “I’m embarrassed by my ugly knees” or even “My upper arms are flabby so I won’t wear short sleeves.”

This is what these beautiful women are ruminating upon. They aren’t seeing their beauty as they are focusing solely on the self-perceived negative. I’m telling you, I don’t see ANY of that. It pains my heart – sometimes to the point of physical tears and/or overwhelming anger – that these amazing, vibrantly beautiful energetic beings treat themselves so harshly and believe in their self-imposed psychological abuse.

And as if being unkind to ourselves wasn’t enough, we have strangers saying demeaning and derogatory comments about our physical uniqueness.

A client recently told me earlier in her life she had been involved in a work related accident. This accident left her needing over 50 surgeries to repair the damage to her lower legs. She’s lucky to have the use of her legs. She showed me the scars. These scars covered about half of her shins and looked as if her legs had been severely burned.

She then told me she had once been wearing shorts at a public outdoor event and some unknown ‘gentleman’ (I use that term loosely!) asked her how she could go out in public looking like that. He said he was repulsed; her legs were disgusting and gross and she should cover them up in public. If she didn’t, he was going to be sick. Yep. True story. Does it leave you feeling as horrified as it did me?

While she was telling me her story, I had placed my hands over my eyes and was shaking my head. I didn’t want to ‘see’ what was coming next. My heart ached for this woman who is aspiring to be a nurse because she has a passion to help those who are ill or in pain. This beautiful woman, who is filled with gentle, nurturing and stalwart energy and has already overcome so much, was distraught over what a callus stranger had said. She chose not to wear shorts in public again. Ever.

She may have been feeling very self-conscious prior to the unwarranted and unwanted verbal attack. She may even have even thought some of those very same things. This may be why his criticism had such a profound effect on her.

My husband had a similar situation, but he handled it differently. He was walking on a treadmill at a local gym and some unknown woman said, “Your legs are too big. They are just gross!” My husband, who is a body builder, was actually flattered by this as he WANTS big legs.  Instead of commenting unkindly about her own figure, he said, “I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”  Well boooyah!

While this incident didn’t bother him in the self-conscious way, it could have and all because of some insensitive stranger who chose to vocalize their own version of what they deem as beautiful.

I am appalled, APPALLED that there are people – fellow brothers and sisters in the human race – who feel it is acceptable to belittle and verbally abuse a person about a physical issue they don’t find aesthetically pleasing. Even worse, as was the case with my client, if the abusee believes the strangers comment holds value, they will alter their life and essentially commit themselves to a self-imposed jail sentence.

Why do we tend to focus on what we (or others) deem as ugly or disgusting? When we do this, we become a prisoner in our own mind and body. What if we stopped staring at people who were physically different than us. What if we stopped for a moment and took a spiritual look at them. If we did, we might understand this person(s) asked to be physically unique in order to overcome obstacles they and others put such a high value upon, one of them being beauty.  What if you knew they chose to physically stand out so they could empower themselves and others to see beauty. Would that change your perception?

Maybe the next time you see someone who doesn’t quite meet your definition of physical beauty, you will opt to see them with clearer (spiritual) eyes. Perhaps you will realize it’s not about their physical beauty, it’s all about the beauty that lies within.

Hello

My husband and I like to play a little game when we go for walks. Sometimes we say “hello” first and see if the person(s) will respond. Sometimes they do, sometimes they ignore us and sometimes they look shocked that we acknowledged them (I get particular satisfaction out of that one). Sometimes we make eye contact and see how many people will say “hello” to us first. Not many do.  Sometimes we TRY to make eye contact but the walkers/joggers/runners ignore us totally. I find this behavior so rude.   Does it take so much effort to acknowledge a fellow human being with a simple “hello” or “hi”?

I remember a gal in my high school class. She had a megawatt smile and a hello for everyone regardless of their social high school status (you know: jocks, nerds, druggies, basers, etc.).  One day, I was doing my usual routine which involved keeping to myself and walking close to the hallway wall, when this blonde all-American girl smiled brightly and said, “Hi!” I remember looking behind me to see if she was speaking to someone else. I was alone in the hallway and when I turned around her blue eyes met mine and I knew she was acknowledging me.  I actually thought, “What is a cheerleader doing acknowledging me?! That’s so weird.”  But her simple act, her common courtesy is one that left me feeling uplifted. I liked how it felt being seen by someone I didn’t think saw me.

I’m also reminded of the statement, “Don’t talk to strangers.” Well, if we hold with that teaching, how does a stranger become an acquaintance and then possibly a friend? And why is it so naughty to make eye contact with someone you don’t know, smile and acknowledge that you see them? Why are we teaching our children it’s acceptable to ignore others?

In a world where we are telling our boy/girlfriends we are breaking up with them via a text (oh puhhhLEASE!!!), is it really such a burden to greet the people whom you share this earth with?

I watch our 19 month old daughter. She doesn’t censor whom she says “hi” or even “bye” to. She hasn’t learned to censor. In fact, she says “bye bye” to passing cars, the laundry machine and to barking dogs. She’ll disarm my frustration by looking at me, smiling and whispering, “hi” over and over again. As a side note, you can’t be frustrated with a toddler when she’s smiling and repeatedly whispering, “hi.”  It completely derails you, in the most beautiful of ways.

Back to task. I’d like to see if you’ll try an experiment. If smiling, making eye contact and saying “hi” or “hello” to strangers feels foreign to you, turn it into one (or more) of your random act of kindnesses for the day. As always, the more you do something, the easier it becomes.

My husband and I have found the people we previously greeted first on our walks now smile and greet US first. I love it.

One should never underestimate the impact of a smile and a simple hello. It made a difference for me those 30 plus years ago.

Communication

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Effective communication was not my strong suit. My way of dealing with uncomfortable or scary things was to stick my head in the proverbial sand and ignore them. I prayed they’d go away or miraculously resolve themselves. It never happened. Not once. In fact, if I didn’t deal with the issue, it blossomed into something even bigger. Stephen King should write a novel about that!

The saying goes that you deal with some of your biggest fears while you are within the safety of a committed relationship.  Boy howdy, blog readers. Boy howdy!

When we were in the early days of dating, my husband would spout things like, “I don’t want to get married again” or “I think we should just live together.” These statements, seemingly said to gauge my response, were deal breakers for me. There was no sticking my head in the sand on this one. I said, “I want marriage. I want the safety, the security and the commitment that comes with marriage. Tell me now if marriage is off the table and we’ll end it right here.”  

He stammered and got all bashful and said, “Well, I guess I can think about it.” I said, “There is no thinking about it. It’s yes or no. Are you open for marriage?”  We locked eyes and he said, “Yes, with the right person.”  All righty, then. Moving on.

I wasn’t so confident when it came to the ‘having children’ talk (see ‘Vasectomy’ and ‘Miracle’ blog). That topic had a lot of fear around it. I knew we were supposed to have children together but he was adamant he was done. I was beside myself with fear. I wasn’t sleeping; I was barely eating and I knew I had to talk with him about this. If he wasn’t at least the littlest bit open to having children, I’d be forced to end our relationship. As distasteful as that thought was, I wasn’t willing to compromise my lifelong dream of having children. I would accept he wasn’t The One and move on.

I have my bestie Susie to thank for helping me through that very difficult time. She spoke in a language I’d not heard before. She took out the anger, the manipulation, the blaming, the threatening and the yelling. She taught me I could effectively communicate without those lower, denser emotions and energies. She spoke with love and respect and clarity. She told me to speak honestly and from the heart. You mean I have to open my heart to rejection AND deal with my fear? At the same time?! Uh, yes (gulp). Damn it!

Susie encouraged me to say things like, “I’m very afraid. I need you to help me understand why you are feeling the way you are. I don’t understand and I want to work through this. Will you help me?”  I’m paraphrasing but you get the idea. I wasn’t attacking or hurtful or even manipulative. In return, he wasn’t defensive, angry or shut down. But let me be clear, while I was trying to find the words to say to him, my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty and my mouth was dry. I kept praying my Guys (Guardian Angels) would help me, guide me and keep me calm. I kept praying they would help me with the exact wording because even though I’d rehearsed it, I was scared out of my wits.

Trinity had the vasectomy. So, evidently using my voice in a new way had more to do with me than with him. But, as you all know, there’s more to that story and it had a happy ending.  😉

As I’m typing this, I’m having an epiphany. It seems fear has a LOT to do with how we communicate (or don’t communicate). For instance, I have a friend who recently became engaged. Her sweet, gentle, loving fiancé picked out the ring without her knowledge but with some guidance from her. When he proposed, he went into a long explanation as to how he went about deciding that ring was ‘it.’ She, however, had envisioned a different ring. She didn’t want a bigger diamond; in fact, she didn’t care if she had a diamond at all. She didn’t want something fancier or shinier.

Does she (lovingly) tell her fiancé what she’d really like or keep the ring because of the beautiful and thoughtful manner in which it was conceived? My personal feeling is that she’s going to wear the ring for the next 50 years (or longer!). She should wear something that she finds true beauty in and is reflective of her. Again, that’s my own feelings and that was the reason I picked out my OWN engagement ring.

But what if, say, 50 years down the road she finally tells her husband that while she loved how much thought he put into the engagement ring, it never really resonated with her. I wonder if he would say, “Why didn’t you tell me! You were quiet all these years and now I feel badly about that. What else haven’t you told me?”

What if this is a spiritual growth opportunity for her? Or maybe for HIM?! What if she chooses to put her head in the sand when he’s really wishing (on some level) that she’d say something? I, I, I! So many, “what if’s” it’ll make your head spin but such is the way of this enigmatic spiritual stuff.

If you are one of the ‘sand people’ and want to change your communication style, there’s no better time than the present. Trust me, it’s not going to get easier the more you procrastinate. Take the lower, denser emotions out of your speech and talk with openness and honesty.  It just may be you’ll find yourself in a stronger relationship because of it. I know we did.