Aiden

This is an email from one of my students. I found it to be so powerful and moving that I asked for (and received) permission to publish it. I left it how Lyn wrote it as I didn’t want to diminish her energy, essence and message.

Oh yeah. Grab the kleenix.  And Lyn, thanks for allowing me to share this story with my blog readers.

“You better sit down for this one….

Two weeks ago on Monday, my sister Mary, (who I’ve asked you to send Reiki before) and her husband Jeff had the worst experience a parent could have.  Their sweet 10 year old son, Aiden, died mysteriously in his sleep.  He was a special needs little boy with Fragile X which I may have told you about…so he was 10 but had the mental capacity of about a 5 year old.  He went to school – main streamed – and did so well.  He was a sweet, sweet boy and always asked people if they were happy.

Mary went to wake him up on Monday morning for school and she found him dead on the floor.  To say that this has been a nightmare for both Mary and Jeff is slight.  John and I drove as fast as we could to MN to be with them.  I stayed with them until last Thursday.

There is so much that happened but I wanted to tell you about a few things.  Mary, my aunt, and you are the few I can share some of my experiences because YOU KNOW.

The morning that Aiden died, I woke from a crazy dream about 6am (7 central) where I was frantically trying to call 911 and it was all jumbled up.   Mary was calling 911 at that time.

When I got to her house, she said she was afraid to go back into Aiden’s room because he had died laying on his stomach so he was all purple when she found him – and not the way she wanted to remember Aiden. She asked if I could clear the room. I really didn’t know what the hell I was going to do but thought I’d give it a try.

When I went in the room, there was an extreme heaviness – dark pressure but I knew it wasn’t Aiden. So I opened all the windows used Reiki to fill the room with love and peace – swooshing the dark energy out the windows, putting my hands on the floor where Aiden had laid and tried to calm the area asking for whatever was holding itself in the room to leave. After that, I sat on the bed and was quiet, asking for further guidance. I heard we should change the bedding and put on white sheets and a fresh blanket and Aiden’s favorite blanket, when Mary was ready to do this. I asked Aiden to help his mom release the image of him on the floor and let her know it was not him…it was just the body. And then I left.

Hours later Mary and I both went in the room and it felt light. The next day we changed the bedding and the room remained quiet.

One evening before I went to bed, I went into Aiden’s room (which was right across from the room I was staying in) and knelt on the floor and laid my head down on his soft blanket. Gracie the cat was sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. I was overwhelmed with sadness and I prayed and cried hard. When I stopped and looked up, Gracie was sitting right in front of me with her face an inch away. She looked at me with big brown eyes and reached out her paw and tapped me a couple times on the chest – in a strange, reaching, comforting way.

I left the room. Gracie followed me into my room and hopped up on the bed by me. I looked at her and SHE HAS GREEN EYES. I swear Melissa, when she looked at me she had brown eyes – Aiden has big brown eyes. I didn’t tell Mary for a couple days because I thought I had taken a short ride on the looney train but I know it was real. I believe it was Aiden comforting me.  Mary believed me.

I also gave her Reiki on the day of Aiden’s funeral.  It helped her to clear her mind for a bit and stop thinking.

I continue to send Mary Reiki almost daily and she uses it when she needs calm.  Without Reiki, this incredibly sad situation would have been even sadder.  I (we – as in all the wise ones) were able to share bits of peace and a lot of love through it all.   I am ever so grateful that you and I made our connection and that I better understand how truly POWERFUL it is.  Over the past couple months I have had experiences and your encouragement that have me the confidence to share Reiki without hesitation in a situation where nothing else would help.

Of course Aiden’s death has changed us all but I have a new light in me that I don’t quite have words for…and I’m not trying too hard to label it….because it’s all good!

Your ever grateful student……………..Lyn”

Change

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like big changes. I like changing my hair color and nail polish and even mixing up my gym classes, but big changes? Nope.  The type of changes I’m talking about are the ones that involve letting go of something that feels as comfortable as a fuzzy blanket on a cold day. I’m talking about something that is or has been a large part of you for any given length of time.

To me, big changes are scary. It feels like an upheaval or even a burden. It’s the unknown that gets me, you know? I know what I have now, and it works, but I don’t know what a change will bring. This is a difficult concept for a recovering control-a-holic.

I had a client yesterday who, when the ‘out with the old, in with the new’ channeled message came through for her, said she didn’t like change all that much either. However, we both agreed that almost every time we’ve decided to embrace the big stuff, we’ve looked back and said, ‘what took me so long?!’

I’m a gal who didn’t get on the texting bandwagon until three years ago. All my friends had it, including my husband, but I didn’t want it. I was happy with my little un-smart cell phone. It did all I needed it to do; answer and send calls.  It took me YEARS to get a cell phone (remember, Michele and Charmaine?!), then when I did I glommed on to it like it was my first born.

My husband kept insisting I upgrade and I insisted he stuff it. Then came a point where I thought it would be kind of cool to have a camera on my phone. I upgraded to another un-smart phone and it was the cat’s meYOOwww (it doesn’t take much to please me, evidently). I also started texting but I had a lot of fear surrounding that. I didn’t want to be available 24/7/365. I didn’t want to be that plugged in or connected. Texting felt like an intrusion and it also felt really foreign (when has something new/different NOT felt foreign?!).

I stumbled through feelings of ineptness while using the old ‘hunt and peck’ typing method. But I learned and I learned quickly. I actually found myself (gasp!) LIKING texting.  Pishaw!  I had resisted it for SO long and now I can’t live without it.

That’s just one story. I could go on and on about how I like to resist change. Oy!

As of Monday, the Guys are saying the old way is out. If you try to do things the old way, you are going to be met with resistance (translation: a brick wall).  But, I LIKE the old way! It’s comfortable and it was working well for me up until this latest energy shift. Bawaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

This shift has left me feeling overwhelmed and at times, debilitated. It’s been difficult for me to practice what I know.  When you’re feeling like you’re in an abyss, it’s really difficult to remember what you’re supposed to do to get back to the mountain top or even a North Dakota hill. Luckily, for me, Reiki is my saving grace. When I do my Work, I am able to get ‘clear’ and once again see things (and hear things) from a higher perspective.

My Monday clients helped with that as it was during both their sessions I heard you just can’t continue doing things the old way and expect them to work in the new energy.

But, I don’t know HOW to do things the new way, I only know the old. I haven’t learned or been educated in the new way. The dreaded familiar sense of feeling unsupported wafted over me like the smell of limburger cheese on a hot radiator.

So I said (whined), “I’m so frustrated and I feel completely unsupported. Why is everything (drama!) feeling so difficult? Are you telling me I should get out of Reiki?! Do you WANT me to continue doing my Work?! Give a girl some help here, brothahhhhhs!”

As soon as I was done with that highly unrealistic rant (there really are so many wonderful, supported things happening with my Work), I heard, “Use social media. Send out your requests to the masses. Let them help.”  Uh…. (head scratch)…..oooooooohhhh (blink).

Ok. I’ll step out of my comfort zone and try something new with my blog readers. I’d like to find a way for my blogs to reach more people. Are there any magazine/newspaper/on-line publication (etc.) personnel who can help me with this??

Well, that didn’t feel as needy as I thought it would. Huh. I have other requests as well, but I’m feeling to vulnerable to address them right now.

Hey! Epiphany alert! A thought just occurred to me on change. Every change is triggered by a need or desire for something different and in most cases, something better. Right? So once there is a want, energy is given to that need/desire by thinking about it. Then it’s brought into reality by physically taking action to make the change happen.

Huh. Were you aware of that? It makes sense and it kind of eases the fear of big change for me. But only just a little.

Fate (part II)

Susie, whom I often call my aloe vera plant, calmed me down and helped me see things with spiritual eyes. She reassured me that I’d be ok and that I didn’t want Trinity as he was. She said he wouldn’t and couldn’t be the man I needed him to be and he wouldn’t be the man he wanted to be if he didn’t tie up some loose ends.  She went on to say this was really a good thing as it looked like Trinity was trying to heal some old wounds. She also said she admired Trinity for tackling this and working through it. She felt Trinity might have been scared by his feelings for me and he was trying to outrun them. Yeah, I get that.

Those words, the choice of words, calmed me.  Remember my ‘Beauty’ blog about seeing things with spiritual eyes? This was the start of me learning how to do just that.

Susie called me several times a day for over a week. She’s the best mother hen to have in your corner when you are in the fetal position and don’t understand a dang thing about anything. She calmed me, time and time again, with her spiritual and reassuring maternal voice. I think back to the kindness she showed me when I was so helpless and it brings tears to my eyes.

She kept telling me Trinity and I had unfinished business. Her spiritual words resonated with me and I think Trinity had felt it too as he had kept repeating, “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know if this is right” when he was dumping me. I held tight to both of their words.

Both my nieces were ready to kill Trinity. They had very harsh words to say about him and I had to tell them it wasn’t helpful, nor did I want to hear it. I told them it was OK for Trinity to try and finish loose ends and he was doing what he felt was right. He hadn’t kept me hanging on and he hadn’t been unfaithful. He was doing what he needed to do in order to better himself. To hear him, the man I loved, belittled and called names did not sit well with me. I get it though, someone hurts someone you love, all you can think to do is trash talk them but it’s not helpful. At least it wasn’t for me.

What Susie did for me spiritually, Charmaine did for me emotionally and physically. She took me under her wing and kept me very busy on weekends. We would have great talks, long walks and even though I was adamant Trinity would return to me, she gently encouraged me to keep my options open.

While I was trying to heal, I would hear snippets of what Trinity was doing. Through the grapevine I was told he left me for the ex-girlfriend who had called him the night I was painting. Now, if that doesn’t drive a knife right through a woman’s heart, I don’t know what would. Interestingly enough, he later told me she wasn’t interested in a relationship. Karma, baby. Karma.

Then I heard he had sold his West Fargo home and moved to Mankato to be with a gal. That almost wrecked me. I kept wondering when he was going to come back to me and it felt like I was being silly holding on to that dream. Plus, I was angry that he seemed to be over me so quickly when I was sure he knew I was his One.

Then the Universe stepped in. I started seeing the number “3” everywhere. I’d hear songs on the radio and I knew they were messages from my Guys.  I even had a few random encounters where I would see Trinity but he didn’t see me. Once he was riding his motorcycle and I passed him. When I recognized him, I had to pull over as my leg was shaking so badly I couldn’t press the gas pedal. Who’s with me on that?! Hum on!

After that, I had a complete crying breakdown. I said, “What is he doing?! I can’t wait much longer, God. I am SO lonely. I’ve learned what I needed to learn. What is he DOING?! WHY hasn’t he called?!” Then to the astral version of Trinity I said, “Hurry up and learn what you need to learn, Trinity. Hurry up!”

News reached me that Trinity was no longer with the Mankato gal and he had moved back to Fargo. (Come ON, Trinity…HURRY UP!!!) It was also about that time Charmaine mentioned ideas as to how I could meet men. What she was suggesting, while considered the norm these days, held no interest for me. I didn’t want to do on-line dating or go on blind dates. It just didn’t feel right and in truth, it didn’t feel necessary.

Finally, one evening during Grey’s Anatomy (back when Grey’s was goooooood), my phone rang. I answered and heard, “Hello, Melissa.” Without waiting for him to identify himself I said, “Hello Trinity” and he replied, “Can we talk?”

As a smile split my face, my eyes looked toward the ceiling and a huge wave of gratitude and relief rolled through me. Tears formed in my eyes and I mouthed a silent, ‘Thank you, THANK YOU!!’ to God. To Trinity I giggled and said, “Sure! What TOOK you so long?!”

Fate (Part I)

 

There were so many teaser attempts to bring my husband and I together. We are both from the same home town, although I left at age 3. I lived in Minot, he lived in Minot. I moved to Fargo, he moved to Fargo. He was my youngest niece’s good friend all through high school and during her college years. I had heard her talk of Trinity often. Given these and other similarities, it’s odd we didn’t meet until after we were both married. My niece (Jessica) introduced us while my starter husband and I were in the process of building our home. Would you like to guess who installed the sound system in that home? Yep, Trinity.

Based on the fact that he was (and still is, I guess) six years younger than me and the fact I only knew him in a professional manner, I thought of him as ‘a very professional young man.’  And that’s that.  That’s where the story could have ended but as time marched on, we both became divorced. Jessica, through casual conversation, kept me in the loop on Trinity’s disastrous marriage and subsequent divorce.

A few years later, Jessica tells me Trinity is looking for some decorating advice and would it be OK for her to give him my phone number. Why sure! He’s a nice young man and at that time I was leaning towards taking up interior design as a profession.  Bet you didn’t know THAT about me, did ya? It’s a good thing it didn’t work out or IFR never would have come to be.

Trinity called me and while I was under the assumption he wanted my hand at picking paint colors, he was more concerned with how he could get his hands on me (can you blame him?!). We were visiting and the next thing I knew, he had morphed into a human octopus. He had his hands all over me and his tongue was half way down my throat.  EUWWW! GROSS!

In shock, I kissed back for a few seconds and then thought, “Eww. Yuck! He feels like a brother, not a boyfriend and WHERE did this all come from?! EWWWWWWW!”  I pushed him away and demanded to be brought home. I sat as far away from him and his tentacles as I could. I literally was hugging the passenger door.  Needless to say, there was no kiss goodbye. In some ways, he already had his kiss goodbye, if you know what I mean. I took my color swatches and marched my arse straight up to my apartment where I sat with my jaw hanging open in disbelief.

Mr. Kissy Face Octopus Gropey Hands called me when he got home and asked what had happened. Really?! Was I giving off signals that I wanted you to see if I had a tonsillectomy?! WITH YOUR TONGUE?! He said he took it as a good sign when I kissed back. Oh good Lord. He later (much later) admitted he thought I was smokin’ hot the first time he met me. Double oh good Lord.

I wasn’t sure I could get past feeling like his big sister and the false pretenses of him getting me to come over. He later admitted the whole interior decorating thing was a ruse. (eyeroll) Well LeDUH!

I must have been one brick short of a load as I agreed to go have supper with him. Maybe I was thinking it was a public place and he couldn’t get all handsy with me. I’d seen his type before. He was a total playah. He’d already told me he’d dated a lot (understatement) of women since his divorce and I had absolutely no intention of being a notch on his bedpost.  I knew, from uhhh experience, about men ‘like him’ and I knew I didn’t want anything to do with that. I wasn’t a player and I’d had my crazy what-was-I-thinking-oh-my-GAWD-why-did-I-do-that episodes after my own divorce.

That supper turned into another and another and pretty soon we had been dating for  almost two months. Somehow he had talked me into painting several rooms inside of his house.  At the time I was working for a professional painter/wallpaper hanger and he had taught me well.  Yes, another hat I was wearing before IFR came into light.  

When I was finishing painting the last room, he had opened a bottle of wine, checked his voice mail and said, “Huh. I just got a message from a girl I used to date. That’s weird. I wonder what she wants.”  Uh oh, boys and girls. Trouble ahead!

I had a fleeting feeling this was going to be trouble but by then I knew, I KNEW I loved this man and I suspected he loved me. I knew he was the One. I just knew it. Years and years ago I had gone to a psychic who said, “You’re not ready for him yet and he’s not ready for you. But he’s had a lot of women and he’s very…ummm…spicy.”  Yep, that would describe Trinity. But it went beyond what a psychic said. It was a feeling that I can’t explain but those of you who’ve experienced it understand what I’m yammering about.

After that phone call, he became distant. I saw him less and less. He didn’t call as much and I was trying my best not to call him as I was trying to do the “George.” I knew something was terribly wrong when I was unable to drive myself to a doctor appointment and he told me he couldn’t help me. Bad show, old boy. Bad show!

A few days later I was still in severe pain from a recently diagnosed kidney infection. Trinity came over to help with my computer and he was acting weird. He wouldn’t touch me, he wouldn’t look at me and he didn’t kiss me. What the what?!  I didn’t have the strength to talk with him about it but I knew. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew.  In fact, if memory serves, I think Jessica might have even said, “Do you think he has another girlfriend?”  Hummmm….

A day later he called and said, “I have to break up with you. I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing, but I can’t see you anymore. I don’t know if this is right but I just have to break up with you.”  Blink. Blink. Blink. Whaaa?  True to form, when I’m under extreme duress, I become very calm and I morph into a plan of action type of girl.  I remember calmly saying, “Ok. Go do what you need to do.”  I had to stop myself from finishing that sentence with, “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

He hung up. I stared at the phone. My very dry mouth hung open to my chest. What the hell just happened? I was in shock. I didn’t cry or freak out and I think it’s because I didn’t have any blood left in my upper body.

I called Susie and said, “He broke up with me. Trinity just broke up with me.” And then I burst into tears.

Click here for more: Fate (part ii)

Answers

I jokingly tell clients if I had all the answers, I would charge a $1000 an hour and I would be living somewhere that isn’t below freezing for 6 months of the year. I’d also be super rich as I would have accurately predicted lotto numbers and helped scientists determine when California was going to fall into the ocean and discovered the cure for cancer…and… and….

Often people think intuitives are all knowing. They think we have the answers to every single question they can ask. At least that’s what I thought when I was a client of intuitives/psychics.  But it’s not accurate. We all have limits.

When I was a client of Susie’s, I asked her about this. My thought was that as an intuitive she should know anything and everything but she said if we were given all the answers, we could not handle it. Our human brain literally could not grasp all the responses as we are not super computers. We are humans and as such we simply cannot wrap our minds around answers that we are not evolutionarily or genetically ready to hear/understand. It’s like trying to explain Sir Isaac Newton’s Theory of Gravity to a two year old. They will not understand the answer even though they may have asked why an apple fell from a tree.

I have friends, clients and in all honesty, myself, who have demanded answers or responses to questions about physical events from the Guys. Sometimes they answer and sometimes they don’t and the reason for that varies. It may be because the person, on some level, doesn’t want to hear the answer. Sometimes the question is too subjective (i.e. “Will I be OK?”). Sometimes they don’t respond because YOU don’t have the answer and still, other times, they don’t know the answer. They are not omnipotent; they are Guardian Angels concerned with your spiritual growth.

So if you’re seeking responses to questions of the physical and you don’t receive them, know that we aren’t meant or even capable of knowing everything. Well, at least not while we are in human form. When you cross back from where you came, you’ll have ALL your questions answered before you can form the question. True that.

‘Integration’ – A Word from the Guys

With this latest (or any, for that matter) energy flare, matters that are no longer in harmony with your greatest good are falling away.  These issues cannot survive in the new, higher, lighter energy that is being ushered in. So what does that mean? Well, first of all, good for you (yes, really)! You have chosen to move forward spiritually and to grow.  Physically though, it could be marriages/relationships/friendships are ending. It might mean a verbal blow up over something that has been festering inside of you. It might be violent thunderstorms, political unrest and yes, it might even mean physical death.

I am not immune from any of this. Nope. I’m growing spiritually right along with the rest of you. In addition to what I may personally be going through, as an Empath and an Intuitive, I feel your pain as well. That brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “I feel your pain” doesn’t it?  Ha!

This morning, after hearing news that shocked and disturbed me, I asked the Guys if they had anything they wanted to say in order to help us. Instantly I heard the word “Integration.”

As defined by Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary:

  • 1.    The act or process or an instance of integrating
  • 2.    Incorporating as equals into society or an organization of individuals of different groups
  • 3.    Coordination of mental processes into a normal effective personality or with the individual’s environment
  • 4.    The operation of finding a function whose differential is known
  • 5.    The operation of solving a differential equation

OK, that doesn’t really do it for me so let’s look up INTEGRATE:

  • 1.    To form, coordinate, or blend into a functioning or unified whole: UNITE
  • 2.    To find the integral of (as a function or equation)
  • 3.    To unite with something else
  • 4.    To incorporate into a larger unit
  • 5.    To end the segregation of and bring into common and equal membership in society or an organization
  • 6.    Desegregate: to become integrated

Ahhhh. I intuitively know the sentence in red was what we needed to know.

It feels like everything is disjointed right now. People are at their breaking points. Tempers are flaring, patience is snapping. We are definitely feeling un-unified even if it’s just within ourselves.

I often wonder if we could understand almost everyone is going through this right now, if that would help us feel united or at the very least, not alone. I wonder if that would make this emotional stuff a bit easier to deal with. Maybe, maybe not.

I think the direction we are moving is towards one of unity. Because that word has come up several times in my little head, let me look up the meaning. Ahhh. Here it is. There are more meanings but I think this is what the Guys are getting at:

  • 1.    The quality or state of not being multiple: ONENESS
  • 2.    A condition of harmony: ACCORD

It would make sense then, if we are to unite or bring about an internal oneness, we need to release lower, denser emotions, issues or even relationships that no longer resonate with us. These items simply cannot exist where we are spiritually going.

We do have a choice though, if you want to call it that. We can opt to stay just as we are and remain in the current denser energy, thereby becoming spiritually/emotionally stagnant.  I know of people who have done this and they are in a lot of pain. They are negative, pessimistic, angry, resentful and generally unhappy.

The good news is, at any point, AT ANY POINT, they can choose to let go of the old and lighten themselves up for the new. It’ll be hard work, but as I’ve said before, this spiritual advancement/enlightenment stuff is not for sissies. And trust me, as one who has been there and done that, getting rid of the old, lower denser issues/feelings/emotions is a walk in the park compared to living in a self-imposed hell.

Colors

This is from my website (innerfocusreiki.com). I’ve been seeing the colors of yellow, orange, indigo and dark purple for clients lately. If I’m seeing these colors for several of my clients, they just might be relevant for you, too.

Be mindful of the colors you are gravitating towards or seeing a lot of. They may be colors you energetically need.

RED: is the color of energy, vitality and power. It is used to burn out cancer, dry up weeping sores or wounds, etc. It will warm cold areas to help reduce pain and will help with depression. Red is powerful in healing diseases of the blood and circulation. Red shouldn’t be used on people with high blood pressure or anxiety. Too much red can make you very agitated or aggressive. Red: represents stability, courage and grounding.

ORANGE: is also a color of energy. It is used to increase immunity/sexual potency, to help with all digestive ailments and with chest and kidney diseases. Orange will have a gentle warming effect. It’s not a good color for people who are easily agitated. Orange: harmony, emotional balancing and passion.

YELLOW: is the color of intellect. It is used for mental stimulation and will help you think quickly. It’s good for clearing a foggy head. It can be used to help cure dermatitis and other skin problems. Too much will be over stimulating and could cause exhaustion and depression. Yellow: strength, self-worth and laughter.

GREEN: is the color of harmony and balance. It is good for tired nerves and the heart area. It will help balance emotions and bring about a feeling of calmness. It is a good general healing color because it stimulates growth. It helps heal broken bones and regrowth of tissues of all kinds. It is a good color for pregnant women to help create an atmosphere of serenity and calm. Too much green may create more negative energy if this energy is already present. Green: healing, unconditional love and forgiveness.

BLUE: is the color of truth, serenity and harmony. It helps by soothing the mind. Blue is good for cooling, calming, reconstructing and protecting. Blue will help fever, burns, bleeding and nervous irritations. Too much blue could leave you cold and depressed.  Blue: strength, tranquility and peace.

INDIGO: is the higher aspect of blue. It will have all the attributes of blue plus it is very good for clearing a congested head and allowing a clearer path for the conscious to the spiritual self. It is used for ears, nose, eyes and sinus diseases. It is also a good astringent and purifier. Too much indigo could cause a headache and drowsiness. Indigo: mental clarity, intuition and knowledge.

VIOLET: is also a color that will connect you with your spiritual self. It is good for mental and nervous problems. It will help with rheumatism, epilepsy and pain. It is used in deep tissue work and helps heal bones. Too much purple and you may need grounding. Violet: Wisdom, motivation and magic.  It instills both grace and dignity.

PINK: is the color of Universal love (God’s love). It is emotional love for self and others and inner peace.

LAVENDER: is the color of equilibrium and it helps with spiritual healing. It is used as a tranquilizer and will aid sleep. It is a color of replenishing and rebuilding. Too much and you will be tired and disoriented.

WHITE: is the color of purity. It will purify the body on the highest levels. It will bring peace and comfort. It is the best pain reliever. White: purity, innocence and truth.

SILVER: is the color of peace and persistence. It is a major purging/detoxing color so it is very good for removing unwanted diseases and troubles from the body. It is best for cancer of tissue and blood.

GOLD: is the strongest color to help cure all illnesses. Due to its strength, many people are not able to tolerate it and may need to be conditioned to it over a period of time. Gold strengthens all fields of the body and spirit.  Gold: illumination, success and prosperity.

BLACK: is a color that is not used very often. It will help bring about a state of grace and help find serenity and peace.

Hidden

“Why did this happen?” or “Why isn’t this happening?!” When I’m asked these type of questions, they are always referring to things of a physical nature. When these types of questions are posed, I often don’t hear an answer from the Guys. Now, if I was asked, “What am I supposed to learn from this, spiritually?” or “Have I learned what I needed to learn?” You will most often get an answer.

You see, us humans are used to looking at things in a physical way. We don’t often use our spiritual eyes to see why something may or may not have happened.  The Guys aren’t typically concerned with the physical as their ‘job’ is to help you with your spiritual growth. Most of the time they are not interested in discussing why something did or didn’t happen on the physical plane because what happened on the spiritual realm trumps it.

I try not to use my intuitive gifts unless I’m asked to do so, but sometimes these gifts are so much a part of me that it happens without me even knowing it. Sometimes they are so intrinsically woven into the fabric of who I am, I can’t tell what my thoughts are from those that are divinely inspired.

A case in point is this: I was talking with my oldest niece (and closest twin-in-a-past-life bestie). She’s dealing with the death of a two year relationship. She’s trying to heal from the heartache, the loss of a dream and the betrayal she uncovered.  While she is viewing things on the physical plane, I am able to give her a spiritual glimpse of why the physical outcome, although painful now, may have just safe guarded the life she desires.

She lives in a very small town and sees her ex beau and his (pregnant) fiancé often. I was thinking of how raw this would be for her until she heals. Then I had these thoughts:

1.    What if she was saved from a life of hurt, resentment and disgust because she refused to (this time) compromise her values and desires?

2.    What if, by holding tight to what she felt she needed in order for her to be truly happy, she ‘opted out’ of a relationship that would be filled with mistrust, unhappiness and control?

3.    What if, by doing this, she is telling the Universe that she’s a force to be reckoned with and she will not lower her standards. She will wait for The One who will inspire, fully commit and love/respect her as she has come to love/respect herself?

Interesting, huh? So now let’s look at what might have been if she had compromised her values.

1.    She may have married a man who would not have been faithful to her and could not give her what she needed.

2.    She may have found she didn’t feel loved, heard, appreciated or respected.

3.    She would have been largely responsible for taking care of his 4 rebellious children.

4.    She would have, once again, repeated the sins of her past and would have set herself up to learn a much harder lesson next time.

And as far as the new fiancé goes, maybe one of her needs in this lifetime is to deal with such issues so she can overcome and be done with them. I truly don’t know as I’m not doing this intuitively. I’m just saying for every person there are lessons to be learned in order to spiritually grow, heal and move forward.

Now that’s the stuff my Guys choose to talk about to those who will listen (not everyone does) and that’s the kind of spin or enlightenment I can bring to the table with their help. Quite different from the physical view and it feels energetically lighter, wouldn’t you agree?

There are so many things that are hidden from our physical view and I’m thankful for that. We humans can’t possibly understand why things happen or don’t happen. But, true fact, when we open our spiritual eyes and close our physical ones, a shift in perception occurs.

Beauty

When I do my Work (Intuitive Reiki), I constantly see the internal and energetic beauty of my clients. I see how kind, caring, trustworthy, loyal, trusting and forgiving they are. I don’t see them as they physically view themselves which may involve seeing a body that’s too fat, a nose that’s too big or even thighs that are too ‘dimpled.’

I once had a client sincerely ask, “I have this scar. Do you think someone could love me in spite of that?”  She was really concerned this scar would be viewed as a negative even though it was less than an inch long and on her arm.

When we view ourselves as less than (or uglier than), it literally creates a ripe breeding ground for self-abuse, self-worth and self-esteem issues to thrive. I would say 9 out of 10 of my female clients currently or have been abusive towards themselves. They may say things like, “I hate my body because I’m so fat” or “I’m embarrassed by my ugly knees” or even “My upper arms are flabby so I won’t wear short sleeves.”

This is what these beautiful women are ruminating upon. They aren’t seeing their beauty as they are focusing solely on the self-perceived negative. I’m telling you, I don’t see ANY of that. It pains my heart – sometimes to the point of physical tears and/or overwhelming anger – that these amazing, vibrantly beautiful energetic beings treat themselves so harshly and believe in their self-imposed psychological abuse.

And as if being unkind to ourselves wasn’t enough, we have strangers saying demeaning and derogatory comments about our physical uniqueness.

A client recently told me earlier in her life she had been involved in a work related accident. This accident left her needing over 50 surgeries to repair the damage to her lower legs. She’s lucky to have the use of her legs. She showed me the scars. These scars covered about half of her shins and looked as if her legs had been severely burned.

She then told me she had once been wearing shorts at a public outdoor event and some unknown ‘gentleman’ (I use that term loosely!) asked her how she could go out in public looking like that. He said he was repulsed; her legs were disgusting and gross and she should cover them up in public. If she didn’t, he was going to be sick. Yep. True story. Does it leave you feeling as horrified as it did me?

While she was telling me her story, I had placed my hands over my eyes and was shaking my head. I didn’t want to ‘see’ what was coming next. My heart ached for this woman who is aspiring to be a nurse because she has a passion to help those who are ill or in pain. This beautiful woman, who is filled with gentle, nurturing and stalwart energy and has already overcome so much, was distraught over what a callus stranger had said. She chose not to wear shorts in public again. Ever.

She may have been feeling very self-conscious prior to the unwarranted and unwanted verbal attack. She may even have even thought some of those very same things. This may be why his criticism had such a profound effect on her.

My husband had a similar situation, but he handled it differently. He was walking on a treadmill at a local gym and some unknown woman said, “Your legs are too big. They are just gross!” My husband, who is a body builder, was actually flattered by this as he WANTS big legs.  Instead of commenting unkindly about her own figure, he said, “I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”  Well boooyah!

While this incident didn’t bother him in the self-conscious way, it could have and all because of some insensitive stranger who chose to vocalize their own version of what they deem as beautiful.

I am appalled, APPALLED that there are people – fellow brothers and sisters in the human race – who feel it is acceptable to belittle and verbally abuse a person about a physical issue they don’t find aesthetically pleasing. Even worse, as was the case with my client, if the abusee believes the strangers comment holds value, they will alter their life and essentially commit themselves to a self-imposed jail sentence.

Why do we tend to focus on what we (or others) deem as ugly or disgusting? When we do this, we become a prisoner in our own mind and body. What if we stopped staring at people who were physically different than us. What if we stopped for a moment and took a spiritual look at them. If we did, we might understand this person(s) asked to be physically unique in order to overcome obstacles they and others put such a high value upon, one of them being beauty.  What if you knew they chose to physically stand out so they could empower themselves and others to see beauty. Would that change your perception?

Maybe the next time you see someone who doesn’t quite meet your definition of physical beauty, you will opt to see them with clearer (spiritual) eyes. Perhaps you will realize it’s not about their physical beauty, it’s all about the beauty that lies within.

Hello

My husband and I like to play a little game when we go for walks. Sometimes we say “hello” first and see if the person(s) will respond. Sometimes they do, sometimes they ignore us and sometimes they look shocked that we acknowledged them (I get particular satisfaction out of that one). Sometimes we make eye contact and see how many people will say “hello” to us first. Not many do.  Sometimes we TRY to make eye contact but the walkers/joggers/runners ignore us totally. I find this behavior so rude.   Does it take so much effort to acknowledge a fellow human being with a simple “hello” or “hi”?

I remember a gal in my high school class. She had a megawatt smile and a hello for everyone regardless of their social high school status (you know: jocks, nerds, druggies, basers, etc.).  One day, I was doing my usual routine which involved keeping to myself and walking close to the hallway wall, when this blonde all-American girl smiled brightly and said, “Hi!” I remember looking behind me to see if she was speaking to someone else. I was alone in the hallway and when I turned around her blue eyes met mine and I knew she was acknowledging me.  I actually thought, “What is a cheerleader doing acknowledging me?! That’s so weird.”  But her simple act, her common courtesy is one that left me feeling uplifted. I liked how it felt being seen by someone I didn’t think saw me.

I’m also reminded of the statement, “Don’t talk to strangers.” Well, if we hold with that teaching, how does a stranger become an acquaintance and then possibly a friend? And why is it so naughty to make eye contact with someone you don’t know, smile and acknowledge that you see them? Why are we teaching our children it’s acceptable to ignore others?

In a world where we are telling our boy/girlfriends we are breaking up with them via a text (oh puhhhLEASE!!!), is it really such a burden to greet the people whom you share this earth with?

I watch our 19 month old daughter. She doesn’t censor whom she says “hi” or even “bye” to. She hasn’t learned to censor. In fact, she says “bye bye” to passing cars, the laundry machine and to barking dogs. She’ll disarm my frustration by looking at me, smiling and whispering, “hi” over and over again. As a side note, you can’t be frustrated with a toddler when she’s smiling and repeatedly whispering, “hi.”  It completely derails you, in the most beautiful of ways.

Back to task. I’d like to see if you’ll try an experiment. If smiling, making eye contact and saying “hi” or “hello” to strangers feels foreign to you, turn it into one (or more) of your random act of kindnesses for the day. As always, the more you do something, the easier it becomes.

My husband and I have found the people we previously greeted first on our walks now smile and greet US first. I love it.

One should never underestimate the impact of a smile and a simple hello. It made a difference for me those 30 plus years ago.