Eyes

A new acquaintance recently asked me, “What personal quality of yours do you hope your child will adopt?”  Surprisingly, with all the great qualities I possess (cough), it didn’t take long to come up with the (as in the royal “the”, not the American “the”) answer.  As a side note, what was surprising was being able to condense my response into one SMALL paragraph!

My first thought was that of kindness. Then I thought about my uh, ummmm, let’s just call it, ‘superior multi-tasking and attention to detail’ skills. (You can read anal-retentiveness but I’m not writing it.) Then it hit me; I’d like for my daughter to adopt the gift of understanding why a person, including herself, reacts the way they do.

How did I arrive at choosing this particular personal quality over so many others? Let me weave a story that spans a decade.

I’m going to take you back to my Fate part I and Fate part II blogs. These are the blogs chronicling how my forever husband and I met, how he dumped me and how Susie saw, with her spiritual eyes, what was going on spiritually.  Even back then, when I was in such intense emotional pain, Susie was teaching me new ways of adapting and looking at things.

These conversations showed me that often a different set of eyes is needed in order to see what’s going on behind the scenes. What I mean by this is seeing why a person lashes out at you or why you lash out at them. And it doesn’t have to be lashing out (anger) either; it may be avoidance, sorrow or animosity.

A few years after Susie guided me through that emotional abyss and several instances later, I began noticing I often had a knowing or an intuitive ‘hit’ as to how a situation was different from what we saw with our physical eyes.

For instance, a client recently told me she was angry with a friend who had distanced herself without any explanation. I ‘looked’ into this and saw that the friend was trying to be supportive of my client’s busy life.  She wanted to give my client some space in order for her to accomplish all that she wanted to do. I also saw that this friend would be there for my client when my client was ready to reconnect. This took the hot air right out of my client’s anger balloon.

In another instance, my client was confused when a romantic relationship ended prematurely. She didn’t know what happened as everything appeared to be going well.  I ‘saw’ that this guy was very afraid of his intense feelings for her and bailed. This allowed her to understand she didn’t do anything wrong, she didn’t cause this and it helped her figure out what she wanted to do next. Hummm, this scenario sounds familiar, right Fate I and Fate II blog readers???!

One more example would be a client who was having extreme anxiety over how a coworker was treating her. I saw that this coworker was trying to help my client grow spiritually by putting some fuel on the proverbial low self-worth fire.  This person was trying to give my client opportunities to say no and to stand up for herself.   After hearing this, my client told me this was a life-long issue for her and something she wanted to work on. She emailed me a week later stating she had set some boundaries for herself, her friends, coworkers and others.

Developing this gift has allowed me to step into another person’s emotional shoes and better understand why a particularly painful or reactive response was triggered. It has helped me calm nerves and soothe anger. It has also helped me deal with my own emotional pain. But you don’t need to be an Intuitive to do this, you just need to be perceptive and open to looking at things in a different light.

What if we all practiced seeing each other’s pain with compassion and empathy instead of with anger and hostility? What if we all calmly said, ‘Wow, it looks like you’re having a strong reaction to what I said. Can you tell me why?”  Or, what if you internally said, “Wow, I am having a strong reaction to that. What do I need to look at and work on in order to try and heal the pain inside of me so this doesn’t happen again?”

By holding off on reacting to what we think is true and looking at things from a slightly different angle, it may help all of us to heal old wounds. And that, for me, is why I chose this particular trait or gift for my daughter to adopt. I believe it can literally change the world into a better place.

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“Why did this happen?” or “Why isn’t this happening?!” When I’m asked these type of questions, they are always referring to things of a physical nature. When these types of questions are posed, I often don’t hear an answer from the Guys. Now, if I was asked, “What am I supposed to learn from this, spiritually?” or “Have I learned what I needed to learn?” You will most often get an answer.

You see, us humans are used to looking at things in a physical way. We don’t often use our spiritual eyes to see why something may or may not have happened.  The Guys aren’t typically concerned with the physical as their ‘job’ is to help you with your spiritual growth. Most of the time they are not interested in discussing why something did or didn’t happen on the physical plane because what happened on the spiritual realm trumps it. 

I try not to use my intuitive gifts unless I’m asked to do so, but sometimes these gifts are so much a part of me that it happens without me even knowing it. Sometimes they are so intrinsically woven into the fabric of who I am, I can’t tell what my thoughts are from those that are divinely inspired.

A case in point is this: I was talking with my oldest niece (and closest twin-in-a-past-life bestie). She’s dealing with the death of a two year relationship. She’s trying to heal from the heartache, the loss of a dream and the betrayal she uncovered.  While she is viewing things on the physical plane, I am able to give her a spiritual glimpse of why the physical outcome, although painful now, may have just safe guarded the life she desires.

She lives in a very small town and sees her ex beau and his (pregnant) fiancé often. I was thinking of how raw this would be for her until she heals. Then I had these thoughts:

1.    What if she was saved from a life of hurt, resentment and disgust because she refused to (this time) compromise her values and desires?

2.    What if, by holding tight to what she felt she needed in order for her to be truly happy, she ‘opted out’ of a relationship that would be filled with mistrust, unhappiness and control?

3.    What if, by doing this, she is telling the Universe that she’s a force to be reckoned with and she will not lower her standards. She will wait for The One who will inspire, fully commit and love/respect her as she has come to love/respect herself?

Interesting, huh? So now let’s look at what might have been if she had compromised her values.

1.    She may have married a man who would not have been faithful to her and could not give her what she needed.

2.    She may have found she didn’t feel loved, heard, appreciated or respected.

3.    She would have been largely responsible for taking care of his 4 rebellious children.

4.    She would have, once again, repeated the sins of her past and would have set herself up to learn a much harder lesson next time.

And as far as the new fiancé goes, maybe one of her needs in this lifetime is to deal with such issues so she can overcome and be done with them. I truly don’t know as I’m not doing this intuitively. I’m just saying for every person there are lessons to be learned in order to spiritually grow, heal and move forward.

Now that’s the stuff my Guys choose to talk about to those who will listen (not everyone does) and that’s the kind of spin or enlightenment I can bring to the table with their help. Quite different from the physical view and it feels energetically lighter, wouldn’t you agree?

There are so many things that are hidden from our physical view and I’m thankful for that. We humans can’t possibly understand why things happen or don’t happen. But, true fact, when we open our spiritual eyes and close our physical ones, a shift in perception occurs.