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I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like big changes. I like changing my hair color and nail polish and even mixing up my gym classes, but big changes? Nope. The type of changes I’m talking about are the ones that involve letting go of something that feels as comfortable as a fuzzy blanket on a cold day. I’m talking about something that is or has been a large part of you for any given length of time.
To me, big changes are scary. It feels like an upheaval or even a burden. It’s the unknown that gets me, you know? I know what I have now, and it works, but I don’t know what a change will bring. This is a difficult concept for a recovering control-a-holic.
I had a client yesterday who, when the ‘out with the old, in with the new’ channeled message came through for her, said she didn’t like change all that much either. However, we both agreed that almost every time we’ve decided to embrace the big stuff, we’ve looked back and said, ‘what took me so long?!’
I’m a gal who didn’t get on the texting bandwagon until three years ago. All my friends had it, including my husband, but I didn’t want it. I was happy with my little un-smart cell phone. It did all I needed it to do; answer and send calls. It took me YEARS to get a cell phone (remember, Michele and Charmaine?!), then when I did I glommed on to it like it was my first born.
My husband kept insisting I upgrade and I insisted he stuff it. Then came a point where I thought it would be kind of cool to have a camera on my phone. I upgraded to another un-smart phone and it was the cat’s meYOOwww (it doesn’t take much to please me, evidently). I also started texting but I had a lot of fear surrounding that. I didn’t want to be available 24/7/365. I didn’t want to be that plugged in or connected. Texting felt like an intrusion and it also felt really foreign (when has something new/different NOT felt foreign?!).
I stumbled through feelings of ineptness while using the old ‘hunt and peck’ typing method. But I learned and I learned quickly. I actually found myself (gasp!) LIKING texting. Pishaw! I had resisted it for SO long and now I can’t live without it.
That’s just one story. I could go on and on about how I like to resist change. Oy!
As of Monday, the Guys are saying the old way is out. If you try to do things the old way, you are going to be met with resistance (translation: a brick wall). But, I LIKE the old way! It’s comfortable and it was working well for me up until this latest energy shift. Bawaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.
This shift has left me feeling overwhelmed and at times, debilitated. It’s been difficult for me to practice what I know. When you’re feeling like you’re in an abyss, it’s really difficult to remember what you’re supposed to do to get back to the mountain top or even a North Dakota hill. Luckily, for me, Reiki is my saving grace. When I do my Work, I am able to get ‘clear’ and once again see things (and hear things) from a higher perspective.
My Monday clients helped with that as it was during both their sessions I heard you just can’t continue doing things the old way and expect them to work in the new energy.
But, I don’t know HOW to do things the new way, I only know the old. I haven’t learned or been educated in the new way. The dreaded familiar sense of feeling unsupported wafted over me like the smell of limburger cheese on a hot radiator.
So I said (whined), “I’m so frustrated and I feel completely unsupported. Why is everything (drama!) feeling so difficult? Are you telling me I should get out of Reiki?! Do you WANT me to continue doing my Work?! Give a girl some help here, brothahhhhhs!”
As soon as I was done with that highly unrealistic rant (there really are so many wonderful, supported things happening with my Work), I heard, “Use social media. Send out your requests to the masses. Let them help.” Uh…. (head scratch)…..oooooooohhhh (blink).
Ok. I’ll step out of my comfort zone and try something new with my blog readers. I’d like to find a way for my blogs to reach more people. Are there any magazine/newspaper/on-line publication (etc.) personnel who can help me with this??
Well, that didn’t feel as needy as I thought it would. Huh. I have other requests as well, but I’m feeling to vulnerable to address them right now.
Hey! Epiphany alert! A thought just occurred to me on change. Every change is triggered by a need or desire for something different and in most cases, something better. Right? So once there is a want, energy is given to that need/desire by thinking about it. Then it’s brought into reality by physically taking action to make the change happen.
Huh. Were you aware of that? It makes sense and it kind of eases the fear of big change for me. But only just a little.