Inner Focus Reiki

Fabric Softeners

I’m going off on a rant again and this time it’s about fabric softeners; most specifically the overpowering and overwhelming smell of some of them. Sheesh! I HATE the smell!! I am repulsed by these and other strong scents (perfumes, hairsprays, air fresheners, candles, etc.). Turns out, it might be my bodies way of warning me of the physical dangers these products contain.

I grew up with (unscented) fabric softeners and until I did research for this blog, I was still using them (although I’d switched to an eco-friendly, organic brand). I’d never once questioned why I should or shouldn’t use a softener or even WHY I was using them. If you wanted your laundry soft, you used a fabric softener. Right?

According to Natural News.com, fabric softeners are made up of a laundry list (pun intended!!!) of horrible toxins. Those toxins have been proven to cause cancer, Parkinson’s, yeast infections, fertility problems, asthma, headaches, and skin conditions (think rash or itching, etc.). These chemicals include (but are not limited to): Formaldehyde, Chloroform, A-Terpineo and Camphor.

Fetuses, babies and young children are incredibly sensitive to these highly toxic ingredients. These ingredients can cause brain damage, SIDs, ADD and depression.

Fabric softeners are designed to soften synthetic fabrics and to reduce static cling. Synthetic fabrics hold on to their odors so a softener was designed to cover up said odors. When synthetic fabrics are heated (think your workout tops), they become even more smelly. But oddly, the laundry directions for most moisture wicking synthetic workout clothes specifically state to omit fabric softeners.

Fabric softeners are designed to last and to release slowly over a period of time. These toxic chemicals are coating your (and your children’s!) towels, sheets and clothing. We physically absorb these toxins through our skin and we also inhale them. Even if you don’t use a fabric softener, you can still be exposed to these chemicals by working with someone who does. That’s lovely, huh?

Something I didn’t know is cotton (think towels and sheets) is designed to naturally soften the more washings/dryings it receives. Well, leDUH (head slap)! Yes! That makes perfect sense. Think of the sheets you’ve had for years; soft as a baby’s bum, aren’t they? Or your favorite old blue jeans? Yep. Good old cotton. It’s designed to be soft and yet we add fabric softener (made for synthetics!) to our rinse water. Egads! What a genius marketing ploy!!

There are safer, non-fabric softener options which include:

· Dry natural fabrics separately from synthetics. Natural fibers don’t develop static. (Huh. I didn’t know this). Also, don’t allow clothes to dry completely in the dryer. Remove them while they are still slightly damp and hang them up to finish drying. The longer they remain in the dryer, the more static.

· Green America suggests pre-soaking clothes in 1/2 cup of baking soda for 10 minutes if you have hard water. Baking soda acts as a natural fabric softener. (What?! Really??!)

· Use natural laundry soaps with soy-based fabric softeners. (Soy fabric softeners?! Now I’ve heard everything!)

· Chose products that are scent free (PLEASE! Ugh! The smell…THE SMELL!!) and don’t contain dyes.

· You can make your own dryer sheets by soaking a small cloth in 1 tsp. of hair conditioner and letting it dry. Then, toss it in the dryer to remove static.

· You can also add 1/2 cup of the old workhorse white vinegar to the rinse cycle.

· Lastly, use chemical-free dryer balls to fluff fibers and remove static cling.

You want ways to be proactive with your health? Eliminating unnecessary toxins in the form of fabric softeners is a good way to start.

Teacher

Years ago, I was walking on a treadmill next to an unknown woman with beautiful long silver hair. The energy emanating from her was of peace, serenity and composure. I kept sneaking glances at her and trying to figure out what it was about her. Finally, I gave in to my inner voice and told her how beautiful her energy was. She turned, looked at me and said, “Thank you. And you are a beautiful teacher.” I stammered, “Oh no. I’m not a teacher. I’m an ex-banker.” She smiled tenderly and said, “No. You are a teacher.”

I’ve thought about her and her statement quite often. It occurred to me that yes, I AM a teacher. I’ve been teaching for most of my life. Early in my banking career I trained the new hires, then created manuals and then taught people the correct way to adhere to those manuals.

When I found Reiki, it never once occurred to me I wouldn’t teach this beautiful healing craft. In fact, I knew within minutes of experiencing Reiki that I would someday teach this to others. My banking career allowed me to know what I wanted (and didn’t want) in a curriculum and in my teaching style.

Now, it seems, I’ve accepted the responsibility of a different type of teaching. This ‘job’ will be full-time for at least 18 years. It’s funny that I never really thought of being a mom as being a teacher. I didn’t view my parents that way and I’m not sure they viewed parenthood as being teachers either. Maybe this is a knowing you get when you are an older (much older) parent. I’m positive I wouldn’t have viewed my role as a teacher if I would have had a baby in my 20’s or even my 30’s.

As parents, we unknowingly teach our children our bad habits as well as our good ones. We do this by just living our life. If we have been doing something the same way for most of our life, it comes naturally to us. It IS us. We may, while in the presence of our children, swear a blue streak at a slow driver (or the Minnesota Vikings) or pitch a huge fit complete with foot stomping and slamming of doors. We may also use derogatory slurs we learned while growing up.

We will be teaching our little ones so many things including how to deal with anger, jealousy and resentment. We will be teaching our babies how to deal with losing, aggression and general meanness. We will be teaching this sometimes without saying a word. They will closely watch how we react and then that’s how and what they will learn. If we are prone to drama, I bet they’ll be prone to drama. If we feel it’s acceptable to make fun of others, then they will feel it’s acceptable to do the same.

Are you getting where I’m going with this? We, as the adults, have choices and most of us have fully functioning minds that understand what WE do, they do. We, again as adults, do not have to be like our parents even if they were the only role models we had. We do not have to pass on the silent treatments, the swearing, the spanking, the yelling and the ‘change your attitudes’ to our children.

Trying to be my mom didn’t work for my starter marriage (see Abuse blog). But it was the eye opening experience it took for me to understand I didn’t have to be her. I have been weaning out the old and embracing the new ever since.

As far as my daughter goes, I knew I would not spank her. To me, spanking didn’t teach me a lesson. Hurt or pain didn’t help me understand why my behavior wasn’t acceptable. What it did was cause me to fear my dad (he was usually the punisher dole’r out’r) and to keep my emotional distance from him. That fear affected me well into my late 30’s.

If we yell and swear at our children, we are teaching them to yell and swear. In reality, yelling and swearing are both ways to try to get the other person’s attention. So why not choose a less abusive and more respectful form of communicating? Perhaps one that may yield positive and nourishing results instead of fear, dissension and anger.

I wish my parents would have utilized a different form of punishment, but the forms they used were what they knew. It was how they were raised. But I’m telling you, I want something different from myself and for my daughter.

I don’t EVER want to see fear in her eyes when she makes a mistake or has an accident or even intentionally misbehaves. I want her to know her dad and I aren’t the only role models in her life. I want her to know how to resolve her upsets without being verbally, physically or emotionally abusive. This, in part, is the legacy I want to leave behind. Then, God willing, I can watch how my daughter adapts and changes that legacy for her own brood.

I vow to sincerely try to break the cycle of abuse. I do not want to teach abuse and I do not want to be abusive. Will I succeed? I don’t know but I’m really, really trying. As the Virginia Slim cigarette slogan goes, “You’ve come a long way baby.”

Communication

Effective communication was not my strong suit. My way of dealing with uncomfortable or scary things was to stick my head in the proverbial sand and ignore them. I prayed they’d go away or miraculously resolve themselves. It never happened. Not once. In fact, if I didn’t deal with the issue, it blossomed into something even bigger. Stephen King should write a novel about that!

The saying goes that you deal with some of your biggest fears while you are within the safety of a committed relationship. Boy howdy, blog readers. Boy howdy!

When we were in the early days of dating, my husband would spout things like, “I don’t want to get married again” or “I think we should just live together.” These statements, seemingly said to gauge my response, were deal breakers for me. There was no sticking my head in the sand on this one. I said, “I want marriage. I want the safety, the security and the commitment that comes with marriage. Tell me now if marriage is off the table and we’ll end it right here.”

He stammered and got all bashful and said, “Well, I guess I can think about it.” I said, “There is no thinking about it. It’s yes or no. Are you open for marriage?” We locked eyes and he said, “Yes, with the right person.” All righty, then. Moving on.

I wasn’t so confident when it came to the ‘having children’ talk (see ‘Vasectomy’ and ‘Miracle’ blog). That topic had a lot of fear around it. I knew we were supposed to have children together but he was adamant he was done. I was beside myself with fear. I wasn’t sleeping; I was barely eating and I knew I had to talk with him about this. If he wasn’t at least the littlest bit open to having children, I’d be forced to end our relationship. As distasteful as that thought was, I wasn’t willing to compromise my lifelong dream of having children. I would accept he wasn’t The One and move on.

I have my bestie Susie to thank for helping me through that very difficult time. She spoke in a language I’d not heard before. She took out the anger, the manipulation, the blaming, the threatening and the yelling. She taught me I could effectively communicate without those lower, denser emotions and energies. She spoke with love and respect and clarity. She told me to speak honestly and from the heart. You mean I have to open my heart to rejection AND deal with my fear? At the same time?! Uh, yes (gulp). Damn it!

Susie encouraged me to say things like, “I’m very afraid. I need you to help me understand why you are feeling the way you are. I don’t understand and I want to work through this. Will you help me?” I’m paraphrasing but you get the idea. I wasn’t attacking or hurtful or even manipulative. In return, he wasn’t defensive, angry or shut down. But let me be clear, while I was trying to find the words to say to him, my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty and my mouth was dry. I kept praying my Guys (Guardian Angels) would help me, guide me and keep me calm. I kept praying they would help me with the exact wording because even though I’d rehearsed it, I was scared out of my wits.

Trinity had the vasectomy. So, evidently using my voice in a new way had more to do with me than with him. But, as you all know, there’s more to that story and it had a happy ending. 😉

As I’m typing this, I’m having an epiphany. It seems fear has a LOT to do with how we communicate (or don’t communicate). For instance, I have a friend who recently became engaged. Her sweet, gentle, loving fiancé picked out the ring without her knowledge but with some guidance from her. When he proposed, he went into a long explanation as to how he went about deciding that ring was ‘it.’ She, however, had envisioned a different ring. She didn’t want a bigger diamond; in fact, she didn’t care if she had a diamond at all. She didn’t want something fancier or shinier.

Does she (lovingly) tell her fiancé what she’d really like or keep the ring because of the beautiful and thoughtful manner in which it was conceived? My personal feeling is that she’s going to wear the ring for the next 50 years (or longer!). She should wear something that she finds true beauty in and is reflective of her. Again, that’s my own feelings and that was the reason I picked out my OWN engagement ring.

But what if, say, 50 years down the road she finally tells her husband that while she loved how much thought he put into the engagement ring, it never really resonated with her. I wonder if he would say, “Why didn’t you tell me! You were quiet all these years and now I feel badly about that. What else haven’t you told me?”

What if this is a spiritual growth opportunity for her? Or maybe for HIM?! What if she chooses to put her head in the sand when he’s really wishing (on some level) that she’d say something? I, I, I! So many, “what if’s” it’ll make your head spin but such is the way of this enigmatic spiritual stuff.

If you are one of the ‘sand people’ and want to change your communication style, there’s no better time than the present. Trust me, it’s not going to get easier the more you procrastinate. Take the lower, denser emotions out of your speech and talk with openness and honesty. It just may be you’ll find yourself in a stronger relationship because of it. I know we did.

Camping

I am a city girl. Yes, in the name of love, I’ve herded cattle (think: dusty/dirty), participated in a Rocky Mountain oyster harvest (think: disgusting and smelly) and even shaved a few sheep (think: hot and itchy) but at the end of the day, I was always able to climb into a warm shower and a clean bed. The only wildlife I had to worry about was house pets. Camping? In the wilderness?! Are you kidding me?!

As it turns out, not kidding me. Before I met my husband, I did not ‘do’ camping unless you considered staying at the Holiday Inn camping.

Alas, I fell in love with a man who loved the outdoors. He liked to canoe, hike, camp, fish and take care of bodily functions in the woods. I liked clean fingernails, un-inflatable beds and the comforts of home which included a non-portable, private potty with soap and running water.

Enter, stage left: My outdoors-y husband. We were well into our dating relationship. He’d seen me without makeup and in my most unflattering pair of sweat pants. He thought I was cute. He thought we should try camping. I asked what his version of camping was. He said tent. I said, “tent?!” Tent. “Outhouse and tent?” Outhouse and tent. Oh super hey.

I knew what he was doing. Either he was that transparent or I am just that good. He was putting me through the last paces in order to determine if he should invest more time into me. Once again, in the name of love, City Girl went camping.

He took me to Maplewood State Park. He set up the campsite while I parked my carcass on a folding chair and enjoyed a cold toddy. There was just something about the energy of the campground that was so serene and calming. I noticed a difference in Trinity’s mood right away. He was less stressed, he joked more often and was more playful.

I found myself relaxing and believing I could do this. I mean, there was a nice (comparatively speaking) port-a-potty right by our campsite, the scenery was beyond beautiful and there were tons of trails to explore.

Then there was the grilling of the food, the crackling of the campfire and the allure of star gazing. Man, I was hooked (Alert: Fishing pun in case you missed it!). One night was all it took to convert a ‘must shower every day’ gal to one that didn’t care if her teeth were brushed.

A few months later, while we were camping, Trinity admitted taking me camping WAS a test (Aha! I knew it! Men!). Then, after months of being met with silence when I told him I loved him, he quietly said, “I love you, too.”

It’s camping season again and we are armed with a new, larger tent. Trinity tells me I won’t know how to act as you can stand up in this one. He does spoil me so. We’ll have baby doll with us and I’m looking forward to watching her giggle-squeal in delight at the raccoons, squirrels and fishies.

I’m also looking forward to not showering, sleeping on an inflatable bed and getting dirt under my fingernails. My, oh my, how tent camping does de-princess-ize me.

North Star (part 2)

My most recent blog, North Star (Part 1) may have left you feeling like Debbie Downer. I promised you we’d create your “I’m SO on my right path” scenario in the next blog.

Same song, different verse. Ready?

1. Nuclear Energy – List three things that can always get you moving (i.e. golf game, supper with the girls, a Reiki session with Melissa). Circle the response that makes you feel the most enthusiastic.

2. To Your Health – Try to remember a time in your life when your health seemed better than usual. What was going on in your life at the time? Circle the situation that has the most positive associations for you.

3. Memories, Light the corners of my mind…… Where’s your super memory? If you can’t remember, ask friends or loved ones what they’ve noticed about your ability to pick up certain categories of information (i.e. math, acting, learning, singing, nutrition, helping others – stuff that ‘seems’ to come naturally or easily for you). Circle the type of information that interests you the most.

4. Time Warp – List three types of activities that make you forget what time it is (i.e. you’re enjoying them so much, you literally forget what time it is – – – crafting, reading, shopping, etc.). Circle the activity you find most absorbing.

5. Emotional Intelligence – Name three people who make you feel socially adept and confident. These are people who seem to understand you and enjoy spending time with you. Circle the name of the person who makes you feel the most comfortable and relaxed.

6. Magnetic Attraction – List three times when you’ve felt strangely drawn to a person, place or thing. You may have temporarily become unable to concentrate on anything/anyone else. Circle the one thing that brings up the most positive feelings.

7. A Natural High – List three times you experienced a wonderful mood, particularly if your good mood came at a strange time or from an action other people may have criticized. Circle the situation that makes you feel the happiest.

Now to the good stuff!! Let’s create your POSITIVE or Best-Case Scenario. Review your answers above and in the words of Jackie Gleason, “and away we go!”

It’s an incredibly beautiful day. The air is clear, the scenery is dazzling and you’re setting out to do (#1 – High energy activity) ___________________ with (#5 – your favorite person) ______________________________________. You’ve no other responsibilities, no immediate deadlines and no major problems weighing you down. You feel great, even better than you did back when you were (#2 – your best health situation) _______________________________. In fact, you’re in the best physical shape of your life: strong, lean, robust and full of energy.

You’re having a great conversation about (3 – the information you remember most easily) _______________________ when a message arrives for you. It’s a letter from the President saying you’ve been chosen to receive a lifetime of financial support for doing (#4 – the activity that makes you forget time) ________________________. This will require you to spend a lot of time with (#6 – the person or situation that creates the ‘urge to merge.’) ______________________. You feel just the way you did when (#7 – your best mood setting) __________________________ happened only more so.

Sit with this. Take in the feelings associated with this scenario and enjoy knowing this is how you’re going to spend the rest of your life. Uh uh uh! Don’t rush though this… keep enjoying it.

OK, now you can give me a chaaaCHING!!! Who’s with me??! ‘Hum on! ChaaaCHING!

Now, notice how you FEEL (yes, there’s that word again!). THIS is what it’s like when you’re ‘in the flow’ or ‘following your bliss’ or as the book’s title would indicate ‘following your North Star (soul)’. In truth, the instant I made my leap without a net (quitting a job without another in place), I was hit by this type of euphoria.

As my future became my past, it was evident why it felt so liberating to do what I did even though it scared the BLEEP out of me. Finding my own internal North Star has made a hugely positive difference in my life. What will it do for yours?

North Star (part 1)

I was recently reading (I know how to do that. It’s math that’s tricky for me) an article about what book changed your life. I have one of those books I’d like to share with you. Without it, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to do what I did or become the person I am.

The book, “Finding Your Own North Star” by Martha Beck was the inspiration I needed to quit a job before I had another lined up. Not a big deal for some of you but for this girl, it simply was NOT done. I had rent to pay, groceries to buy and two parents who had ingrained in me the absolute need to get another job before quitting the current one.

I was 40 when I read this book and made the leap without a safety net. Looking back, there WAS a job waiting, I just couldn’t see it yet. It was called Inner Focus Reiki.

The following exercise is designed to evaluate your ‘essential self’ as Martha calls it. See where you are in your life by taking the following “I’m completely in HELL” exercise. I’ll blog the “I’m SO on my correct path” exercises later.

There is so much more to this book but hopefully this experiment will help open your eyes, even if they are squeezed tightly shut. Like I said, it was life changing for me.

1. Energy Crisis – Try to remember three different events or type of events (i.e. dental appointments, jobs, classes, social functions, etc.) where you HAD to show up but felt reluctant and low-energy. Circle the response that has the most negative association for you.

2. Sick, Sick, Sick – Try to remember three times when your health was below par. What was going on in your life during each of these three periods? List each situation (they can be the same as in Energy Crisis) AND the physical symptoms you suffered. Circle the worst symptom.

A. Symptom:

B. Symptom:

C. Symptom:

3. Forgetting – Write down three types of information you find difficult to remember (example: people’s names, school schedules, important documents). Circle the type of information you forget most often.

4. Blunders o’ Blunders – Write down three stupid mistakes you remember making. Circle the most disastrous mistake.

5. Social Suicide – Name three people who bring out your very WORST social behavior (like every time you’re around this person you feel like a complete ass, you revert to being a child or you need a complete lobotomy).

6. Fight or Flight – List the times when you couldn’t sleep, slept poorly or slept so much you felt groggy or squalid (squalid? Uh, OK). List the three problems in your life that cause sleep dis-order. Circle the issue that most disrupted your sleep.

7. Addiction – Name ONE (yes, only one) bad habit or obsessive pattern you’ve been unable to eliminate (for me, it’s biting my nails. Hey! I only had to pick ONE of them!). Now remember what happened to trigger this bad habit the last three times you fell off the wagon. For example, for me, it’s overwhelming stress that I feel I have too much on my plate and I’m not talkin’ dinner plate. Circle the trigger that is most likely to make you turn to your addictive habit.

8. Moody Blues – List the last three times you experienced a VERY bad mood or a mood that seemed inexplicable, unjustifiable or extreme. Again, note what was happening in your life at the time these moods occurred. Circle the one that brought out your worst mood.

You did it!!! That’s it for the questions. Now comes the ‘fun’ part which is getting your essential self (or soul) to speak to you. Go back and review the items you’ve circled. It’s fill in the blank time, boys and girls. And this isn’t gonna be pretty. Ready? Take a big gulp of air………

YOUR OWN WORST CASE SCENARIO:

Imagine for a moment that you are in/at (response from #1 – lowest-energy situation) ________________________________. You are surrounded by (#5 – all THREE names on your list) ________________________________________ You’re not feeling your best, in fact, your (#2 – worst medical symptom) ______________________________ is bothering you more than ever. You’ve been given a lifetime assignment that involves working with (#3 – most forgettable information) ________________________.

All the people in the room are authorized to watch you constantly, criticize your performance and punish you if you make any mistakes. Speaking of mistakes, you’ve just done (#4 – stupidest mistake) ______________________________ a fact that was noted by your three supervisors. Your life in general is pretty difficult right now; that whole thing with (#6 – sleep disturbances) ________________ is happening all over again. You’re also trying to deal with (#7 – worst bad habit trigger) ___________________________. To top it ALL off, (#8 – bad mood situation) ___________________________ is more intense than ever.

Just when things are at their worst ________________ (#5 – the person who makes you the most uncomfortable) walks up. He/she orders you to stand up, politely smile in a way that is both humble and worshipful and say to the entire assembly, “I admire you so much. Thank you, THANK YOU for letting me be here. You are such a terrific person and this is just what I deserve. I want to live this way for the rest of my life!”

Gaaahhhhh!!!!

How about that?! How ABOUT that?! Feeling like kaka?! If you can vividly imagine this horrible situation, you’re experiencing your own blend of anger, despair, illness, etc. It doesn’t feel good, does it?

Are your eyes opening? Are you learning anything about what you essentially need? This book clearly states no one is supposed to EVER feel this way. EVER!!! And yet we do, don’t we America?

Think about this scenario for a while or until you throw up, whichever comes first. I’ll work on Part 2 (it’s much better, I promise) and you’ll see (pun intended) where I’m going.

My Start

I never once thought I was intuitive, NOT ONCE, until I sought out the professional services of a well-known, much loved and deeply respected local Intuitive by the name of Susie.

During our sessions, Susie would often hold her head and say, “You are so dang intuitive it makes my head hurt.” I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. I wasn’t doing anything I would consider even remotely intuitive. I wasn’t giving readings, I wasn’t channeling information and I certainly wasn’t consciously following my intuition. Intuitive? Whaa?

I remember looking at her, shrugging my shoulders and saying, “But I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just being me.” I think I was waiting for a big revelation or some loud booming voice to say, “You’re intuitive! Go forth and intuit!”

I couldn’t figure out what Susie was seeing and why she believed so fiercely in my intuitive abilities. Well, no secret, it turns out she was right, I AM intuitive. In fact, so are you but we’ve covered that in a previous blog (Intuition).

In my quest for cultivating my intuitive abilities, I found some books that resonated with me. I went to Barnes and Noble, stood in the spiritual section and pulled out books that that resonated with me. Once I’d read them, I thought I would instantly feel like I was an Intuitive. Uh (head scratch), that didn’t happen either. Why wasn’t this working?!

I took up meditating to try and calm my mind. I lasted literally 5 seconds the first time I tried it. I kept telepathically saying, “Hello?! Anybody there? Wanna chat?” and got the big old goose egg in the way of a response. Yeah, uh uh. That’s totally not meditating.

I was very impatient (what me?!). I demanded answers of whomever and then became crabby when I couldn’t hear the responses. I was having trouble quieting my mind. I think I was just too analytical and logical back then. But, as they say, where there is a will, there is a way.

Eventually I was led to Reiki and it was through my training that my intuitive abilities really took off. Now Reiki is not the only reason I began to believe what Susie had been saying, not at all. It was but one piece of the puzzle. Other pieces were Susie saying, “Don’t worry if you don’t feel the energy right now. You will, at some point. Just keep practicing.” It was me connecting with yoga, embracing meditation, healing and letting go of my need for control.

I let outdated and preconceived ideas about what my gifts should be fade away. For instance, I read a lot of Sylvia Browne books and I felt like I had to ‘see’ my Spirit Guide(s). I was getting very frustrated because that wasn’t happening. James Van Praagh was having dead people pop in for a chat over waffles. Susie was channeling and talking about past lives. Me? Well not so much. Nothing so grandiose like that was happening and it was causing me to feel like a failure.

Once I let go of expecting to be like other veteran intuitives (Susie included), I found it easier to develop my own gifts. It realized that none of these people, Susie included, were an overnight success. They, too, had to work at nurturing their intuitive abilities. As Susie would often say, ”we (intuitives) all play in the same band; we just play a different instrument.”

As my Reiki training progressed and while I was just being me, my intuitive abilities grew. One of my favorite games to mentally play was imagining what people’s lives were like as I was people watching. I would make up (or would I? I ask with a raised eyebrow) stories about their lives knowing I would never know if it was my imagination or my intuition. The point is, I was playing and allowing my mind to be creative instead of being so black and white.

I practiced not only Reiki but my intuitive side on trusted and closest members of my family and besties. As time went on, I felt comfortable encompassing more members of my family and friends.

I found other like-minded people to practice on and I kept receiving such positive and glowing feedback that I started to honestly believe in myself. I learned I didn’t need to be touching someone or giving them Reiki in order for the intuitive information to flow. I started to trust the information was going to be there when I needed it. In essence, I trusted the Guys weren’t going to abandon me when I needed them.

It was at that point Susie, whom had become one of my closest and trusted besties, hosted a party at her house. She asked if I wanted to do intuitive readings on people. I wanted to say no but instead I said yes. To my surprise, people were clamoring (well, that’s how I remember it anyway) to have mini-readings by yours truly.

The response and residual feedback I received convinced me I could do this professionally. It wasn’t long after that I opened the doors of Inner Focus Reiki and began offering my own brand of Intuitive Reiki.

There’s so much more I could write more about my experiences but I think I’ll stop here and just continue to be me.

Birds

I’ve been seeing birds everywhere. I took a trip to Bismarck during a spring snow storm and there were flocks and flocks of sparrows flitting across the interstate. They reminded me of pilot fish. There was the swallow who decided to dart inside my car. Then there was one of my besties telling me she intuitively saw bluebirds around me.

A little idea began flickering in my brain that maybe these birds were a message and I should look into it. Of course I dismissed it. Whaaa? You do it, too!

I recently realized I’m playing a CD at work that has birds chirping and I just met someone whose name is Robin. The final light bulb moment happened when a sparrow decided to go belly up on our front porch.

Seeing birds is commonplace when I do my intuitive Work. I either see them as totems or over a client’s throat area.

When the Guys go through such an effort to get my attention, it may be because others are experiencing the same thing. Those others may benefit from my research and what I have to say.

Here’s a little bit about what I’ve learned about birds in general. This insight is based on Ted Andrews book, “Animal Speak.” Almost every bird has some ancient and symbolic association. For instance, ravens/crows are fabulous protectors, messengers and creators of magic. Robins represent new growth, a creative life force and the ability to sing your own song.

Seeing birds, as a whole, may be trying to instinctively teach us how to respond automatically or intuitively to any give situation.

Birds eat often but in smaller amounts. This may be a signal for you to examine your own eating habits to further your spiritual growth. They have a fabulous metabolism that keeps them light. For us, this may indicate a lightness of spirit or the ability to astral travel.

Birds never run out of breath (uh, not like me…remember my “Breathe/Breathes” blog?) as they literally fly right into it. So for us, being outside and doing deep breathing exercises will not only help empower, it will be needed for our overall health. By eliminating stress (via deep breathing and relaxing) we may notice it takes less effort to accomplish tasks. Sign me up!!

Birds have excellent vision. This could translate to us using our own intuitive vision more clearly. It could also help us see in all directions – past, present and future.

Birds can teach us to recognize our need to be flexible or even the ability to recognize changes in the weather. Hummmm, predicting the weather? Cool parlor trick!

All in all, you should examine the specific traits of the bird(s) you’re seeing to give you a clue as to understanding yourself. Since I’ve been predominately seeing sparrows, let’s look at some of their traits.

· The sparrow is a “perky and assertive bird that can hold its own….” Hummm. Sound like anyone you know??? (wink wink)

· It will show you how to survive and awaken new senses of dignity and self-worth. It will help you sing your song.

· It will help you succeed in spite of outside circumstances.

Pretty cool stuff, huh? Now the hard part is to figure out what this means for me. Is it possible I’m about to become more intuitive? Or maybe develop additional intuitive gifts? If that’s true, it’ll be…(cough)… something to crow about. Wahaahhaa.

BMI

I’m all fired up over the archaic BMI (Body Mass Index) system because it directly and negatively affects us. My hunky body builder of an Adonis husband is considered overweight by medical standards. He’s within an arms reach of being deemed as obese. He has approximately 10% body fat. Should I repeat that? Yes, I shall. He has approximately 10% body fat.

Let me give you a visual. Watch the Minnesota Vikings? Agile, athletic and muscular Adrian Peterson is considered overweight according to BMI scale. Like movies? Let’s look at (yes, please!) Sylvester Stallone’s chiseled well defined physique during his “Rambo” days. According to the BMI scale, he was considered OBESE.

Part of the problem is the BMI scale was never designed to evaluate an individual’s weight. According to an article in Mens Health, it was created to measure the collective weight of an entire population. It was developed so doctors and insurance companies would have an easy tool that could predict…get this…. an early death based on weight.

Originally, there was supposed to be a male and female designation, too. Different calculations were to be used for each gender but that distinction was tossed by the wayside. Now, I’m not a Rhodes Scholar, but it seems kind of simple to me – ‘Y’ chromosomes get this formula and ‘X’ chromosomes get this one.

So how did we go from something that was designed to be used en masse to judging individuals? Well, in large part it’s because of its uncomplicated math (math…eyes rolling in the back of my head…..drooling….. Must. Snap. Out. Of. It.) and its four no-brainer categories (underweight, normal weight, overweight and obese). Simple it is. Accurate it is not.

To the topic of the day: Why are we still using this inaccurate system?!! Plain and simple, one of the main reasons is the numbers aren’t dangerous. But, as in our case, they CAN be expensive. When we recently applied for life insurance my husband was classified as overweight. This throws my obsessively faithful gym rat into a higher rate/risk category. It should be noted that several websites I viewed stated the BMI scale should not be used with weight lifters!! Cha! I’m sayin’!

Yeah, sure, doctors/life insurance companies can take other measurements to determine a person’s risk factors but they aren’t perfect either. For instance, if you just measure a person’s waist, you’re measuring specific fat. You are not taking into account the weight of the person’s lean muscle mass.

There is ‘talk’ of testing for a hormone called Leptin that is secreted by body fat. Research is showing this to be an inexpensive way to determine if you are underweight, normal weight, overweight or obese.

My husband had an idea: A simple metal caliper. He might just be on to something. (Notice I stopped short of saying, “He’s got a good idea” as that might wreck my street cred.) According to Livestrong.com, “under ideal conditions, caliper tests predict fat percentage within plus or minus 3.5 percent of your true body composition.”

I wasn’t able to find an accuracy percentage for the BMI test as it…oh yeah, that’s right, doesn’t calculate your body fat percentages. Sigh. Can you feel my (pocketbook) pain??

Crying

Do you apologize to others for being happy or for being afraid? Sounds odd, right? But how many times have you apologized for crying in front of someone? Aha! I’m willing to bet almost every time.

Why? Why do we do this?? Crying is a human emotion. It’s no different than anger or fear or even joy. And yet we don’t apologize when we’re feeling happy. I mean, how many times have you heard, “Oh gee, I’m so sorry. I can’t seem to stop smiling. I’m SO embarrassed!” Uh, like NEVER!

I was raised by a dad whom I never saw cry. He certainly may have but he didn’t do it in front of me. My mom was just the opposite. When she was sad, frustrated or hurt, she openly cried. I was a momma’s girl so it’s no surprise I cry openly, too.

If you’re lucky enough to have two parents as a child/young adult, you had two role models in which to create your emotional behavior. If you related to the ‘unemotional’ one, then the one who cried is going to be perceived as a baby or weak. If you connected with the ‘emotional’ one, then the other one is going to be viewed as unfeeling or cold.

I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve heard, “She’s such a strong woman” or “I’m trying to be strong.” Both of these statements infuriate me as they imply that crying makes you weak. Quite frankly, I’m fed up with this archaic and untrue line of thinking. It doesn’t matter what gender you are, either. Crying (emotion) does not discriminate. Both genders should feel empowered to have a good ol’ crying jag without fear of being viewed as weak. Oye!!

When I’m seeing a new client, I cue them that they may have an “emotional release” while receiving Reiki. I let them know that they shouldn’t be embarrassed by the tears or hold them back. I tell them that crying is therapeutic and by crying it often triggers the healing process to begin.

The most common reason we cry is due to stress, sadness, grief, anxiety and frustration. But we also cry tears of joy or when we feel overwhelming relief. Is there a difference between the tears? Yes. According to several websites including 5 Health Benefits of Crying, there are more toxic byproducts in tears that are shed for emotional reasons than say, in response to an onion or the birth of a baby. Oh HO!

Something else I found interesting was if you were to compare crying to say sweating while exercising, the same detoxing and destressing process occurs. If you hold back your tears, you can increase your stress levels (duh). This can lead to health issues such as high blood pressure, depression and fatigue.

Crying helps your mood. Plain and simple. Studies show a good cry can elevate your mood by releasing endorphins which allow your emotional and physical body to feel calm again.

It can help with cold and flu prevention, too. Tears contain natural antibacterial and antiviral solutions that work to fight the germs we get in our eyes. Our tears are capable of killing up to 95% of all bacteria that enter our eyes within minutes. What the WHAT?! WOW!

Last, but not least, tears literally enable us to see. Kind of a biggy, don’t you think? Tears moisten our eyes and prevent dehydration. You don’t say! Well then, how come every time after I cry my eyes feel like a sand pit?!

Crying is essential to healing grief as it helps us process loss. Tears are a sign of courage, strength and authenticity. I couldn’t agree more. Please remember that the next time you’re feeling embarrassed or ashamed of an emotion whose very purpose is designed to help us grow, heal and cleanse.