Inner Focus Reiki

North Star (part 1)

I was recently reading (I know how to do that. It’s math that’s tricky for me) an article about what book changed your life. I have one of those books I’d like to share with you. Without it, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to do what I did or become the person I am.

The book, “Finding Your Own North Star” by Martha Beck was the inspiration I needed to quit a job before I had another lined up. Not a big deal for some of you but for this girl, it simply was NOT done. I had rent to pay, groceries to buy and two parents who had ingrained in me the absolute need to get another job before quitting the current one.

I was 40 when I read this book and made the leap without a safety net. Looking back, there WAS a job waiting, I just couldn’t see it yet. It was called Inner Focus Reiki.

The following exercise is designed to evaluate your ‘essential self’ as Martha calls it. See where you are in your life by taking the following “I’m completely in HELL” exercise. I’ll blog the “I’m SO on my correct path” exercises later.

There is so much more to this book but hopefully this experiment will help open your eyes, even if they are squeezed tightly shut. Like I said, it was life changing for me.

1. Energy Crisis – Try to remember three different events or type of events (i.e. dental appointments, jobs, classes, social functions, etc.) where you HAD to show up but felt reluctant and low-energy. Circle the response that has the most negative association for you.

2. Sick, Sick, Sick – Try to remember three times when your health was below par. What was going on in your life during each of these three periods? List each situation (they can be the same as in Energy Crisis) AND the physical symptoms you suffered. Circle the worst symptom.

A. Symptom:

B. Symptom:

C. Symptom:

3. Forgetting – Write down three types of information you find difficult to remember (example: people’s names, school schedules, important documents). Circle the type of information you forget most often.

4. Blunders o’ Blunders – Write down three stupid mistakes you remember making. Circle the most disastrous mistake.

5. Social Suicide – Name three people who bring out your very WORST social behavior (like every time you’re around this person you feel like a complete ass, you revert to being a child or you need a complete lobotomy).

6. Fight or Flight – List the times when you couldn’t sleep, slept poorly or slept so much you felt groggy or squalid (squalid? Uh, OK). List the three problems in your life that cause sleep dis-order. Circle the issue that most disrupted your sleep.

7. Addiction – Name ONE (yes, only one) bad habit or obsessive pattern you’ve been unable to eliminate (for me, it’s biting my nails. Hey! I only had to pick ONE of them!). Now remember what happened to trigger this bad habit the last three times you fell off the wagon. For example, for me, it’s overwhelming stress that I feel I have too much on my plate and I’m not talkin’ dinner plate. Circle the trigger that is most likely to make you turn to your addictive habit.

8. Moody Blues – List the last three times you experienced a VERY bad mood or a mood that seemed inexplicable, unjustifiable or extreme. Again, note what was happening in your life at the time these moods occurred. Circle the one that brought out your worst mood.

You did it!!! That’s it for the questions. Now comes the ‘fun’ part which is getting your essential self (or soul) to speak to you. Go back and review the items you’ve circled. It’s fill in the blank time, boys and girls. And this isn’t gonna be pretty. Ready? Take a big gulp of air………

YOUR OWN WORST CASE SCENARIO:

Imagine for a moment that you are in/at (response from #1 – lowest-energy situation) ________________________________. You are surrounded by (#5 – all THREE names on your list) ________________________________________ You’re not feeling your best, in fact, your (#2 – worst medical symptom) ______________________________ is bothering you more than ever. You’ve been given a lifetime assignment that involves working with (#3 – most forgettable information) ________________________.

All the people in the room are authorized to watch you constantly, criticize your performance and punish you if you make any mistakes. Speaking of mistakes, you’ve just done (#4 – stupidest mistake) ______________________________ a fact that was noted by your three supervisors. Your life in general is pretty difficult right now; that whole thing with (#6 – sleep disturbances) ________________ is happening all over again. You’re also trying to deal with (#7 – worst bad habit trigger) ___________________________. To top it ALL off, (#8 – bad mood situation) ___________________________ is more intense than ever.

Just when things are at their worst ________________ (#5 – the person who makes you the most uncomfortable) walks up. He/she orders you to stand up, politely smile in a way that is both humble and worshipful and say to the entire assembly, “I admire you so much. Thank you, THANK YOU for letting me be here. You are such a terrific person and this is just what I deserve. I want to live this way for the rest of my life!”

Gaaahhhhh!!!!

How about that?! How ABOUT that?! Feeling like kaka?! If you can vividly imagine this horrible situation, you’re experiencing your own blend of anger, despair, illness, etc. It doesn’t feel good, does it?

Are your eyes opening? Are you learning anything about what you essentially need? This book clearly states no one is supposed to EVER feel this way. EVER!!! And yet we do, don’t we America?

Think about this scenario for a while or until you throw up, whichever comes first. I’ll work on Part 2 (it’s much better, I promise) and you’ll see (pun intended) where I’m going.

My Start

I never once thought I was intuitive, NOT ONCE, until I sought out the professional services of a well-known, much loved and deeply respected local Intuitive by the name of Susie.

During our sessions, Susie would often hold her head and say, “You are so dang intuitive it makes my head hurt.” I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. I wasn’t doing anything I would consider even remotely intuitive. I wasn’t giving readings, I wasn’t channeling information and I certainly wasn’t consciously following my intuition. Intuitive? Whaa?

I remember looking at her, shrugging my shoulders and saying, “But I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just being me.” I think I was waiting for a big revelation or some loud booming voice to say, “You’re intuitive! Go forth and intuit!”

I couldn’t figure out what Susie was seeing and why she believed so fiercely in my intuitive abilities. Well, no secret, it turns out she was right, I AM intuitive. In fact, so are you but we’ve covered that in a previous blog (Intuition).

In my quest for cultivating my intuitive abilities, I found some books that resonated with me. I went to Barnes and Noble, stood in the spiritual section and pulled out books that that resonated with me. Once I’d read them, I thought I would instantly feel like I was an Intuitive. Uh (head scratch), that didn’t happen either. Why wasn’t this working?!

I took up meditating to try and calm my mind. I lasted literally 5 seconds the first time I tried it. I kept telepathically saying, “Hello?! Anybody there? Wanna chat?” and got the big old goose egg in the way of a response. Yeah, uh uh. That’s totally not meditating.

I was very impatient (what me?!). I demanded answers of whomever and then became crabby when I couldn’t hear the responses. I was having trouble quieting my mind. I think I was just too analytical and logical back then. But, as they say, where there is a will, there is a way.

Eventually I was led to Reiki and it was through my training that my intuitive abilities really took off. Now Reiki is not the only reason I began to believe what Susie had been saying, not at all. It was but one piece of the puzzle. Other pieces were Susie saying, “Don’t worry if you don’t feel the energy right now. You will, at some point. Just keep practicing.” It was me connecting with yoga, embracing meditation, healing and letting go of my need for control.

I let outdated and preconceived ideas about what my gifts should be fade away. For instance, I read a lot of Sylvia Browne books and I felt like I had to ‘see’ my Spirit Guide(s). I was getting very frustrated because that wasn’t happening. James Van Praagh was having dead people pop in for a chat over waffles. Susie was channeling and talking about past lives. Me? Well not so much. Nothing so grandiose like that was happening and it was causing me to feel like a failure.

Once I let go of expecting to be like other veteran intuitives (Susie included), I found it easier to develop my own gifts. It realized that none of these people, Susie included, were an overnight success. They, too, had to work at nurturing their intuitive abilities. As Susie would often say, ”we (intuitives) all play in the same band; we just play a different instrument.”

As my Reiki training progressed and while I was just being me, my intuitive abilities grew. One of my favorite games to mentally play was imagining what people’s lives were like as I was people watching. I would make up (or would I? I ask with a raised eyebrow) stories about their lives knowing I would never know if it was my imagination or my intuition. The point is, I was playing and allowing my mind to be creative instead of being so black and white.

I practiced not only Reiki but my intuitive side on trusted and closest members of my family and besties. As time went on, I felt comfortable encompassing more members of my family and friends.

I found other like-minded people to practice on and I kept receiving such positive and glowing feedback that I started to honestly believe in myself. I learned I didn’t need to be touching someone or giving them Reiki in order for the intuitive information to flow. I started to trust the information was going to be there when I needed it. In essence, I trusted the Guys weren’t going to abandon me when I needed them.

It was at that point Susie, whom had become one of my closest and trusted besties, hosted a party at her house. She asked if I wanted to do intuitive readings on people. I wanted to say no but instead I said yes. To my surprise, people were clamoring (well, that’s how I remember it anyway) to have mini-readings by yours truly.

The response and residual feedback I received convinced me I could do this professionally. It wasn’t long after that I opened the doors of Inner Focus Reiki and began offering my own brand of Intuitive Reiki.

There’s so much more I could write more about my experiences but I think I’ll stop here and just continue to be me.

Birds

I’ve been seeing birds everywhere. I took a trip to Bismarck during a spring snow storm and there were flocks and flocks of sparrows flitting across the interstate. They reminded me of pilot fish. There was the swallow who decided to dart inside my car. Then there was one of my besties telling me she intuitively saw bluebirds around me.

A little idea began flickering in my brain that maybe these birds were a message and I should look into it. Of course I dismissed it. Whaaa? You do it, too!

I recently realized I’m playing a CD at work that has birds chirping and I just met someone whose name is Robin. The final light bulb moment happened when a sparrow decided to go belly up on our front porch.

Seeing birds is commonplace when I do my intuitive Work. I either see them as totems or over a client’s throat area.

When the Guys go through such an effort to get my attention, it may be because others are experiencing the same thing. Those others may benefit from my research and what I have to say.

Here’s a little bit about what I’ve learned about birds in general. This insight is based on Ted Andrews book, “Animal Speak.” Almost every bird has some ancient and symbolic association. For instance, ravens/crows are fabulous protectors, messengers and creators of magic. Robins represent new growth, a creative life force and the ability to sing your own song.

Seeing birds, as a whole, may be trying to instinctively teach us how to respond automatically or intuitively to any give situation.

Birds eat often but in smaller amounts. This may be a signal for you to examine your own eating habits to further your spiritual growth. They have a fabulous metabolism that keeps them light. For us, this may indicate a lightness of spirit or the ability to astral travel.

Birds never run out of breath (uh, not like me…remember my “Breathe/Breathes” blog?) as they literally fly right into it. So for us, being outside and doing deep breathing exercises will not only help empower, it will be needed for our overall health. By eliminating stress (via deep breathing and relaxing) we may notice it takes less effort to accomplish tasks. Sign me up!!

Birds have excellent vision. This could translate to us using our own intuitive vision more clearly. It could also help us see in all directions – past, present and future.

Birds can teach us to recognize our need to be flexible or even the ability to recognize changes in the weather. Hummmm, predicting the weather? Cool parlor trick!

All in all, you should examine the specific traits of the bird(s) you’re seeing to give you a clue as to understanding yourself. Since I’ve been predominately seeing sparrows, let’s look at some of their traits.

· The sparrow is a “perky and assertive bird that can hold its own….” Hummm. Sound like anyone you know??? (wink wink)

· It will show you how to survive and awaken new senses of dignity and self-worth. It will help you sing your song.

· It will help you succeed in spite of outside circumstances.

Pretty cool stuff, huh? Now the hard part is to figure out what this means for me. Is it possible I’m about to become more intuitive? Or maybe develop additional intuitive gifts? If that’s true, it’ll be…(cough)… something to crow about. Wahaahhaa.

BMI

I’m all fired up over the archaic BMI (Body Mass Index) system because it directly and negatively affects us. My hunky body builder of an Adonis husband is considered overweight by medical standards. He’s within an arms reach of being deemed as obese. He has approximately 10% body fat. Should I repeat that? Yes, I shall. He has approximately 10% body fat.

Let me give you a visual. Watch the Minnesota Vikings? Agile, athletic and muscular Adrian Peterson is considered overweight according to BMI scale. Like movies? Let’s look at (yes, please!) Sylvester Stallone’s chiseled well defined physique during his “Rambo” days. According to the BMI scale, he was considered OBESE.

Part of the problem is the BMI scale was never designed to evaluate an individual’s weight. According to an article in Mens Health, it was created to measure the collective weight of an entire population. It was developed so doctors and insurance companies would have an easy tool that could predict…get this…. an early death based on weight.

Originally, there was supposed to be a male and female designation, too. Different calculations were to be used for each gender but that distinction was tossed by the wayside. Now, I’m not a Rhodes Scholar, but it seems kind of simple to me – ‘Y’ chromosomes get this formula and ‘X’ chromosomes get this one.

So how did we go from something that was designed to be used en masse to judging individuals? Well, in large part it’s because of its uncomplicated math (math…eyes rolling in the back of my head…..drooling….. Must. Snap. Out. Of. It.) and its four no-brainer categories (underweight, normal weight, overweight and obese). Simple it is. Accurate it is not.

To the topic of the day: Why are we still using this inaccurate system?!! Plain and simple, one of the main reasons is the numbers aren’t dangerous. But, as in our case, they CAN be expensive. When we recently applied for life insurance my husband was classified as overweight. This throws my obsessively faithful gym rat into a higher rate/risk category. It should be noted that several websites I viewed stated the BMI scale should not be used with weight lifters!! Cha! I’m sayin’!

Yeah, sure, doctors/life insurance companies can take other measurements to determine a person’s risk factors but they aren’t perfect either. For instance, if you just measure a person’s waist, you’re measuring specific fat. You are not taking into account the weight of the person’s lean muscle mass.

There is ‘talk’ of testing for a hormone called Leptin that is secreted by body fat. Research is showing this to be an inexpensive way to determine if you are underweight, normal weight, overweight or obese.

My husband had an idea: A simple metal caliper. He might just be on to something. (Notice I stopped short of saying, “He’s got a good idea” as that might wreck my street cred.) According to Livestrong.com, “under ideal conditions, caliper tests predict fat percentage within plus or minus 3.5 percent of your true body composition.”

I wasn’t able to find an accuracy percentage for the BMI test as it…oh yeah, that’s right, doesn’t calculate your body fat percentages. Sigh. Can you feel my (pocketbook) pain??

Crying

Do you apologize to others for being happy or for being afraid? Sounds odd, right? But how many times have you apologized for crying in front of someone? Aha! I’m willing to bet almost every time.

Why? Why do we do this?? Crying is a human emotion. It’s no different than anger or fear or even joy. And yet we don’t apologize when we’re feeling happy. I mean, how many times have you heard, “Oh gee, I’m so sorry. I can’t seem to stop smiling. I’m SO embarrassed!” Uh, like NEVER!

I was raised by a dad whom I never saw cry. He certainly may have but he didn’t do it in front of me. My mom was just the opposite. When she was sad, frustrated or hurt, she openly cried. I was a momma’s girl so it’s no surprise I cry openly, too.

If you’re lucky enough to have two parents as a child/young adult, you had two role models in which to create your emotional behavior. If you related to the ‘unemotional’ one, then the one who cried is going to be perceived as a baby or weak. If you connected with the ‘emotional’ one, then the other one is going to be viewed as unfeeling or cold.

I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve heard, “She’s such a strong woman” or “I’m trying to be strong.” Both of these statements infuriate me as they imply that crying makes you weak. Quite frankly, I’m fed up with this archaic and untrue line of thinking. It doesn’t matter what gender you are, either. Crying (emotion) does not discriminate. Both genders should feel empowered to have a good ol’ crying jag without fear of being viewed as weak. Oye!!

When I’m seeing a new client, I cue them that they may have an “emotional release” while receiving Reiki. I let them know that they shouldn’t be embarrassed by the tears or hold them back. I tell them that crying is therapeutic and by crying it often triggers the healing process to begin.

The most common reason we cry is due to stress, sadness, grief, anxiety and frustration. But we also cry tears of joy or when we feel overwhelming relief. Is there a difference between the tears? Yes. According to several websites including 5 Health Benefits of Crying, there are more toxic byproducts in tears that are shed for emotional reasons than say, in response to an onion or the birth of a baby. Oh HO!

Something else I found interesting was if you were to compare crying to say sweating while exercising, the same detoxing and destressing process occurs. If you hold back your tears, you can increase your stress levels (duh). This can lead to health issues such as high blood pressure, depression and fatigue.

Crying helps your mood. Plain and simple. Studies show a good cry can elevate your mood by releasing endorphins which allow your emotional and physical body to feel calm again.

It can help with cold and flu prevention, too. Tears contain natural antibacterial and antiviral solutions that work to fight the germs we get in our eyes. Our tears are capable of killing up to 95% of all bacteria that enter our eyes within minutes. What the WHAT?! WOW!

Last, but not least, tears literally enable us to see. Kind of a biggy, don’t you think? Tears moisten our eyes and prevent dehydration. You don’t say! Well then, how come every time after I cry my eyes feel like a sand pit?!

Crying is essential to healing grief as it helps us process loss. Tears are a sign of courage, strength and authenticity. I couldn’t agree more. Please remember that the next time you’re feeling embarrassed or ashamed of an emotion whose very purpose is designed to help us grow, heal and cleanse.

The Guys

How do I even begin to describe the voices I hear or the knowledge I am asked to pass on to my clients? Maybe I should start by how I incorporate Their words into my Work.

I affectionately call a bunch of Arch Angels, Spirit Guides, Guardian Angels and Ascended Beings the ‘Guys.’ It’s not a term I can take credit for as I adopted it from my mentor.

I call my Work “Intuitive Reiki” for two reasons. The first is I intuitively move my hands versus following the traditional Usui Reiki hand positions. The second is, well, I am an Intuitive.

What’s an Intuitive? Intuitive/psychic. PotAYto/poTATo, although I do not personally like the word “Psychic.” For me, the word ‘intuitive’ feels more professional and seems to embody the spiritual aspect of what I do. “Psychic” has a bad connotation for me.

So what IS it that I do? The short answer is I am a channel or a portal for Ascending Beings to communicate with and through. That could mean a relative (alive or deceased), an Angel or a Guide. I hear, see or sense the energetic outcomes to most physical, spiritual or emotional questions.

Do I see whom I’m talking to? Sometimes, yes. Especially when a relative shows up, an animal totem appears or maybe even a Guide that is there to assist with the Healing. Mainly though, it’s the Guys and I don’t see them as They are pure energy, kind of like air. I just never know who’s going to come to the party.

My Work mainly deals with the spiritual, meaning the Guys want to tell you about your spiritual progress. They do so in several ways. Sometimes They show me pictures and I’m left to interpret the message. Sometimes They talk and sometimes it’s just a knowing I have. Sometimes it’s a soft voice, sometimes it’s loud and sometimes it seems to come from several fused voices.

While you’re thinking I’m going to get all Oda Mae on you, my Work isn’t like that. I can’t control who shows up, there’s no rocking of the table and I know my eyes don’t roll in the back of my head.

The Guys are ecstatic to have an open, uncensored, clear channel in which to communicate. My Guys do not try to scare you or cause fear. These Beings are of high energy and Their first priority is your spiritual growth. The messages I am asked to relate are all aimed at helping you grow.

Sometimes people think I can see that they’re the ones who put the empty milk carton back in the fridge or whatever assorted ‘things’ they are embarrassed by. I assure my clients it doesn’t work that way. Again, if the Guys are concerned with your spiritual growth, They are not going to waste time telling you that you shouldn’t have tied Tommy’s shoe laces together in the second grade. They have bigger fish to fry.

Part of my charm is that I can only validate what you know. Never should I tell you anything that you are not already aware of. This stuff might be buried deep inside you or housed in your subconscious, but it’s all stuff you know.

I most certainly can answer questions about physical stuff as well (‘Do you see a boyfriend for me? Will I get the promotion? How many children will I have?’). What I see/hear/sense is accurate for that moment. Because God gave us free will, I make sure each client knows they can change absolutely anything (physical or spiritual) I say.

It should also be noted that it’s not up to me to make your dreams come true or bring to life the visions I’m seeing. I am a mere mortal, after all. I may be able to give you a road map, but you’re going to have to figure out which road to take.

Why? Well, the Guys speak in a very esoteric language. It’s not a ‘do this’ or ‘don’t do that’ approach. With a lot of Their messages, you have to figure out what the meaning is or what you’re supposed to do. Yes, the Guys DO give specific answers on some stuff, but for the most part, it’s up to you to find the path that leads you to your end goal.

Sometimes, the beauty of the Truth lies in the exact wordage used by the Guys. It’s verbiage that comes from the client’s repertoire, and it’s often repeated back to the client. So if you are an artist, I may find myself saying all sorts of words dealing with color and texture. If you are intelligent, I FOR SURE will be stammering over words I don’t know how to pronounce. I used to be embarrassed by this but now? Pshaw! It’s old hat. Besides, the words are meant for the client, not for me.

There have been cases where I’ve spouted out something like, ‘jambalaya’ and my client doesn’t understand. Gee, I wonder why! Jambalaya?! When words like that appear or other words are constantly repeated, I have learned to write them down. When our session is over, I look up their meaning (if I can figure out how to spell them, that is). Almost all of the time the words have a spiritual meaning that is relevant to my client.

I’m really no different than you. Truly. We are all intuitive but I chose to grow my gifts so I may be of service to others. My Work is to empower, enlighten and inspire. I believe the Guys help me do just that. In spades.

Intuition

Intuition. 100% of us are intuitive. 100% of us have intuition. Not all of us choose to listen or hear or even grow this gift. If the intuition you were born with isn’t encouraged or used, it will wither and fade. Take note that I didn’t say ‘die.’ Nope. This gift, which I believe all of us have, will not die no matter how malnourished, mistreated or mistrusted. Intuition could be considered an evolutionary protector, as its job is to literally save our bacon. It seems like I should throw a caveman analogy line in here, but I think I’ve played that card already.

Who hasn’t had gut feelings? I mean, who hasn’t?! Who hasn’t had the hair on their arms or the nape of their neck stand up? Who hasn’t thought something similar to, “I’d better not go down that street even though I’ve walked that way for 13 years. Today, I’d better choose a different route.” Or how about “I have to call Aunt Matilda. She’s been on my mind and something doesn’t feel right.” Only to find out she doesn’t have Lifeline Alert and has fallen and …(snicker…) can’t get up.

On a lighter note, haven’t you guys just ‘known’ you need to pick up an extra 500 rolls of toilet paper only to be told later that cotton prices are skyrocketing? Or, if you’re like me, I know I should Neti but I don’t want to. Again, I’m hit with the gut feeling I should Neti and again I choose to ignore it. Two days later, uhhh, I should have Neti’d. I’m feeling the start of a head cold. Gaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh (insert a V8 head slap here)!!! I’ve been around the block a time or two with this intuition stuff and yet I STILL fight it!

Yes, intuition. Sometimes we listen to our gut and sometimes we don’t. Mostly intuition is meant to warn us but not always. Again, if it’s an evolutionary thing and its purpose is to help protect us, then there’s a reason for it.

Have you noticed when you ignore your intuition is when you get yourself into trouble? You know I’m right. Right??!

Case in point. A very close friend of mine decided to marry his starter wife even though four days before their wedding he was struck with the thought that he shouldn’t do so. This wasn’t a pre-marital jitter. He knew, deeply and strongly, going through with this marriage was wrong. He ignored his gut feeling and his marriage was, uhhh, difficult at best. His divorce was epically (is that a word?) nasty. To this day, years and years after their divorce, this bloke is still paying the price for not listening to his intuition. Admittedly, he says this was a powerful lesson for him to learn (Chaaaaa! Do you think?!) and he listens closely now when intuition comes a callin’.

Me? Well, sure I had gut feelings, but for the most part if intuition wasn’t telling me what I wanted to hear, I didn’t listen. Plain and simple.

For instance, 1999. My mom was having routine heart surgery (if there’s really such a thing). As she and dad were backing out of our driveway, mom glanced at me. I was hit hard, like a fist to the stomach, with the knowledge my mom wasn’t going to make the return trip.

I felt the blood drain from my face and my eyes widen. Time seemed to have slowed down – wayyyyy down. My gaze faltered away from her for a nanosecond. When I looked back, mom was smiling gently and raising her hand in a wave goodbye.

Of course, I totally pooh-pooh’d that gut feeling. I said, like anyone else would, “Nah. That’s not going to happen.” But it did. It did happen.

I woke up a few minutes before we received the “get to the hospital right away” phone call. It was another slo-mo time moment. I remember being in the hotel bed staring into the darkness and knowing mom was gone. I could feel her energy surround me, hover over me. I heard – or maybe I felt – her tell me she loved me.

I look back on that event and I know it was the tremor that started the earthquake for me (see Abuse/Abuses blogs for more information on my journey). I wish I had acted on my gut instinct. I wish I would have stopped their car and told mom I loved her one more time. I wish I would have hugged her one more time and told her I still needed her. Above all, I really wanted to ask her if she “knew”.

Sometimes you have to act upon your intuition NOW. Other times, you may get a couple of warning shots across the bow. The real trick, I think, is in knowing which option has been presented to you. Either way, if you ignore what your gut is telling you, there will be a cost. Whether that price is small or big, you’re going to say, “Oh! I KNEW it! I knew I should have…..”

Permanent

A new friend recently triggered some memories of my youth. Most specifically a couple of years spent as a teenager in the ‘yellow house.’ Come along with me while I reminisce about one of those memories.

I was a gangly girl with braces, headgear, pink glasses, ‘sunken treasure’ chest and bad, bad chia-pet home perms. My mom didn’t believe in me dating until I was 16. But really, ummm, based on the previous description, I don’t think she had any cause to worry.

Let’s talk about my hair, most specifically my home perms. You just haven’t lived unless your mom has given you an Ogilvy home perm with the smallest rods known to mankind. I should mention I had (and have!) gobs and gobs of thick hair. Gobs.

So let me paint this picture. It’s perm day. When my hair wasn’t permed, it was almost to my shoulders. K? Got it? Thick hair and medium length. I would sit for hours while my mom cranked my hair into these little tiny rods. It wasn’t quite the bonding experience you might envision. No… She didn’t use her time to talk to me about drugs or warn me about the perils of unprotected sex (God FORBID!) or even choosing pepper over salt. No, she used the time to take that little rat tail comb and poke (stab?!) me in the shoulders. “Quit fidgeting” is what she would mumble. Feeling the love, mom.

Sigh. This memory isn’t as much fun for me to recall as I thought it would be but I’ve come this far and I’ll do it for you, my blog readers. What a good trooper I am! Once my hair was rolled and my eyes had taken on a slight Asian slant, then came the roll of cotton around my forehead and neck. Supposedly, this cotton was to keep the permanent solution from dripping into my eyes. I think it was a form of torture as the only thing it did was itch like hell. I had more rashes around my hairline from that damn saturated cotton sitting there festering away than I’d like to remember.

So…cotton…then the perm solution. Anyone who has EVER had a home perm knows that shit is NASTEEEEY! It’s cold and drippy and eeuwy-yucky smelling. And you have to stay IN THE KITCHEN because you don’t want to take a chance it’ll drip on the carpet or something. It’s good enough to sit on your scalp for like EVER, but God FORBID one little iota will get on the carpet.

After your hair and scalp have sufficiently marinated in the uber toxic curl maker, you had to rinse your hair in the kitchen sink. Nope, you can’t use the tub, you have to use the kitchen sink. It’s at that point, after you’ve been bent over for HOURS so the 439 perm rods can be removed, you hear, “Oh oh. Oh dear. Darn it.” WHAT?! MOM! I’M BENT OVER HERE!! DON’T SAY, ‘OH OH’ or ‘OH DEAR’ or even ‘DARN IT.’ WHATTTTT?!! WHAT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IS WRONG!!?

“Oh honey, it looks like some of your hair fell out.”

Sigh. Blink. Blink. Blink. Really?? REALLY!?!

That’s almost the kiss of death to a teenager who doesn’t want to stand out. I was dorky enough, let alone to be missing a portion of my hair. “Oh honey, it looks like some of your hair fell out” is NOT what I wanted to hear. Ever. Ever. But I heard it more than once. It was always at the hairline too, not some inconspicuous place my mop would cover. NooOOOooo…hairline. Soaked, itchy cotton marinating ON MY HAIRLINE. “Oh honey….”

Once my hair (what remained) was rinsed, I couldn’t wash it for three days or the perm would relax to quickly (or something equally as cockamamie). That’s THREE DAYS of being a teenager with stinky perm hair. Three days, minimum, I might add. When I could wash my hair it took like 14 bottles of ‘Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific’ to fully get the odiferous odor out.

And then let’s talk about the end result, shall we? Gahhhhh! I have a big old lump in my throat right now thinking about this part. While I’m sure my mom used perm rods made for Barbie because she thought the ‘perm would last longer’, I was left with the worst cha-cha-chia pet hair of my entire life. I mean, it was tighter than some poodles fur. And I had thick hair! I looked like a fuzz ball. I couldn’t even comb it; I had to use a pick (which, thankfully, was fashionable back in the late 70’s, early 80’s). It wasn’t quite to the Afro level, but it was darn close.

I remember getting my third haircut and some kid said, “Did you get your haircut? It looks the same.” Yep. I was going on four months with that damned Ogilvy perm and it outlasted (much to my horror) cut after cut after cut.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore pathetic, remember the hair I ‘lost’ around my hairline? Well, what do you think it was doing while my chia-pet perm was all coiled up and hissing?? It was growing STRAIGHT OUT (eye roll). Picture THAT if you dare. Chia pet meets protuding, stick straight hair. DeLOVELY!

Yeah, really, mom didn’t need to worry about the boys lining up to ask me out. At least not at that point. I think she took it more seriously when I was a little older AND HOME PERM FREE. Correlation? Maybe. 😉

Forgiveness

Yes, it’s happened again. Just like “Agnostic,” the word “Forgiveness” has been showing up in my life recently. I’ve been hearing it for clients; I see random articles in magazines and just today, something on Facebook. Sigh. I get it. The Guys are gently giving me a message that they feel needs to be addressed. I know what I need to do.

It wasn’t long ago I was asked by the Powers that Be (aka My Guys/Guardian Angels) to create a channeled meditation on Forgiveness. They wanted us to have a view from their World. The meditation, along with the entire channeled meditation series, was powerful and life changing. Hey, if The Guys are going to come forward and speak about a topic, it’s for the benefit of many.

In the Forgiveness meditation, the Guys start out by saying, “…. Peace starts at home. Forgiveness is the key. We do not harbor hate, anger or even aggression. We harbor love, fulfillment and grace. We embody anger management, wisdom and euphoria. We do not waste our time on the tiniest of infractions. We do not even give them any more than a glance, a mere glimpse, for to do so would detract from Other’s beauty, therefore detracting from Ours.”

They ask, “If you hate, how do you expect kindness? If you are jealous, how do you expect freedom? If you do not love, how do you expect to be loved?” They go on to tell us the Art of Forgiveness begins within our own heart. They say it was not designed to harbor such animosities or travesties. They say it was built to love and to aid and to be compassionate.

Ahhh…the heart. Yes, yes. Each and every time I’m told a client needs to forgive, it’s when I’m working over their heart area. Our heart was not designed to harbor resentment and yet millions of us continue to do so, even if it means literally killing ourselves.

According to an article in Real Simple, scientists agree that holding a serious grudge has a toxic effect on your body. What’s a ‘serious grudge’? Well, according to this article it’s defined as, “repeatedly thinking about an injustice you’ve suffered through a lens of vengeance, hostility, bitterness, resentment, anger, sadness or all of the above.”

So let’s talk about the physical consequences of keeping such resentment locked inside your ‘heart.’ How about raising your blood pressure? Yep. How about raising your risk of stroke and heart attacks? Again, yes. Those were kind of easy. I mean, if you keep toxins locked inside your ‘heart’, you’re bound to suffer dis-eases of the heart. Leduh. Smarter than a fifth grader.

But did you know you also put yourself at risk of impairing your immune system? Or that your body constantly feels under attack and releases hormones that literally create inflammation? You may be thinking that inflammation is no biggy, but let me educate you. Inflammation is a known cause of arthritis, autoimmune disorders, obesity, fibromyalgia, diabetes, cancer, heart attacks, etc. It really IS a biggy.

What’s more, holding on to deep resentment also appears to aggravate depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorders. I’ve just got to ask: Is it worth it? Is it worth being so gawl dang resentful of someone that you literally work yourself into an early grave?

So how do we deal with this overwhelming resentment? Well, a satisfying revenge is one way. We are actually programmed to want to do this. Back in the day, if we exacted revenge on someone, we were ensuring they wouldn’t be able to be naughty again. Revenge is a natural way of protecting ourselves, but it’s not one that I endorse.

The Guys give another option. They ask that you take a look at a powerful memory. They ask you to really examine it. Does it still cause you pain? If so, then mentally step back a little bit until you’re more comfortable viewing it. Does stepping back allow you to feel calmer, lighter, better? If not, continue to take steps back until you move so far away from the memory that it no longer holds any power over you. For each of you, this paragraph will mean something different.

They state we may feel like we’ll never be free of this harsh and hurtful memory but They assure us we will, IF WE CHOOSE. Uh huh…We don’t have to live with the pain, we can choose to be free of it. That’s not saying we’ll forget, it’s just saying we’ll forgive.

How will you know when forgiveness has begun? Well, according to one article contributor, she say’s, “You will know when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.” I agree wholeHEARTEDLY (Oh man! I slid that right in there! Did you see how I did that?! How perfect was that?!!).

To evolve and grow, one must let go of pain. It simply does not exist where we are ultimately headed. If you choose to continue nurturing the pain, there’s a good chance you’ll get ‘there’ quicker than those of us who have allowed forgiveness to reside within our hearts.

Reiki (part III)

(This blog is a continuation of my Reiki (part I) and Reiki (part II) blog.)

Remember earlier I said I was ‘led’ to Reiki? I believe God wanted me to be a Healer so He allowed me to have a disease that I was able to overcome in order to see the profound beauty of Reiki. It was, after all, that disease that led me to Reiki and got me thinking I’d like to help others with this amazing Art.

I want to talk about the levels of Reiki training. There are four of them. Reiki I, Reiki II, Reiki III and Reiki Master. The only fundamental difference between a Reiki I and a Reiki Master is that as a Master, according to Dr. Usui’s system (that’s the one I’m trained in) you can teach Reiki to others. And teaching is in my blood.

I love, LOVE teaching Reiki. In Reiki I, I get to see newbees eyes widen when they feel the energy of others for the first time. In Reiki II, I get to hear ‘that was so cool’ when we literally send energy to each other and in Reiki III I get to give a beautiful attunement that is unlike any other.

What’s an attunement? Yes, I suppose I should answer that. An attunement is me and the Powers that Be opening up dormant energy centers within you so that you can more efficiently and effectively give Reiki to yourself and others.

The attunement is the reason you should really REALLY find a Reiki Master that you resonate with when searching for Reiki training. Truly, not just anyone will do. You’ll carry or house some of your instructor’s energy after he/she gives you the attunement. Make sure it’s the kind of energy you want.

Do you need to take Reiki classes from a Reiki Master? I feel you do, but that’s just me. There is no substitution for a hands-on class or the feedback/questions you get from other students. There are on-line courses available, and they are what they are, but for me, I’m not a fan. Again, there is something so dynamic about the energy of certain individuals coming together, learning and bonding in a comfortable, intimate training environment that you can’t get with an on-line course. You won’t be able to experience the wonderment and beauty of the hands-on attunement process either. But that’s just me. You do what you’re led to do.

Does being a Reiki II, III or even a Master make you better than another level? NO! No how, no way, no, no, no. There are individuals out there who are kind of snobby about holding a Reiki Mastery title, but let me tell you, it doesn’t make them any better than a newly attuned Reiki I.

One of the beauties about Reiki is the more you use it, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you use it. If you, as a Reiki I practice Reiki often (whatever ‘often’ means to you, for me the term mean means almost daily), you can literally receive/give more energy than a Reiki III or even a Master. Why? Because Usui Reiki isn’t about titles, it’s about how often you use it. And yes, that means even if you are just giving Reiki to yourself everyday.

So, should a person experience Reiki before taking the training? Well, that depends. For me, I’m not sure I would have been so gaga over it if I DIDN’T experience it. For others, they jump right in to the training. Whatever is your preference. A caveat though, some Reiki practitioners, as with any professions, are not ethical, morally responsible or even respectful of their Trade. They do not walk the walk, so to speak. Yes, unfortunately, they are out there. Please be mindful of that.

If you are thinking about having a session or taking training, here’s some questions you may want to ask if you don’t personally know your Practitioner:

1. How long have you been doing this? (There’s no right or wrong answer here – experience doesn’t make a practitioner better than one with less, it’s just a piece of the puzzle.)

2. How often do you receive Reiki? (Personally, I receive Reiki daily, but what you’re looking for here is to see if the Practitioner is active or stagnant in her practice.)

3. Where did you take your training? (Again, on-line courses are fine. It’s just another piece of the puzzle that needs to fit with your needs.)

4. How long have you been teaching? (Again, just another piece of the puzzle.)

These are just a few questions that came to mind. What you’re looking for is your level of comfortableness and confidence with this person. Is he/she personable? Professional? Polite? Respectful? Knowledgeable? Do you resonate with their ideas or energy? All things to think about.

I love my job. I really, REALLY do. I can’t imagine doing anything else that would give me such a deep sense of peace. I have so much more to tell you about Reiki, including the miracles I’ve witnessed and how you really can send energy three inches or three thousand miles, but I’ll end it here.

I hope it’s obvious how passionate I am about my Work and the people Reiki has allowed me to help. If Reiki is something you’d like to receive or learn, then find a practitioner that resonates with you. As my friend MarJean says, “There comes a point in your life where you have to stop asking ‘why’ and start asking ‘why not?’ 😉

Note: If you want to share your own Reiki story in the ‘comment’ section of this blog, I encourage you to do so. That way others can learn from your own amazing personal experiences.